We've known all along that the day was coming, that I wouldn't be going back to work after the boys were born.
We knew daycare would be too expensive, and that I'd essentially be going to work to pay for daycare. Why do that? Why work only to allow someone else to cuddle with my boys? It just doesn't make sense.
Tomorrow I'm putting in my two weeks notice. I've worked at the university for over 5 years. I've loved some of it, hated some of it. Mostly I just appreciated that I had a steady, relatively well paying job and that I kept being promoted. And that I finally had an office. Oh how I love that little office...
I've known for over a year that I was going to be quitting. And yet, as I wrote my resignation letter this morning, it feels weird. And a little sad.
Under no circumstances do I want to leave my boys with anyone else. Not even with B1...not because I don't trust him with the boys alone, and not because I don't think he'd do a great job-I do. But this is what I'm meant to do, what I want to do. I just never thought I'd be a stay at home mom-to twins-and that I wouldn't be going into an office everyday and that I wouldn't be bringing home my own paycheck.
It's weird, that's all. But in a good way. Especially when I look at the two reasons why:
(BTW-I'm utterly disgusted at the cost of child care in this country and at the small amount of time women get away from work for raising the next generation. While we would have made this decision on our own regardless, our hands are essentially tied. We cannot afford for me to continue to work. And I made a good living. Canada has it right. 1 year off to raise children while they get paid maternity leave. And then they still have a job when they return to work.)