I am having a hard time this week. Being given this promotion was wonderful at first and I was proud of myself for rising through the ranks as I did, but it's taking it's toll on me.
I don't get lunch breaks most of the time and end up checking my work email at home most nights. My brain is fried. I have dark circles under my eyes and I'm not sleeping well. And it's probably about to get worse.
About 6 months ago I became the manager of a friend. She worked in another area and applied for an open position I had. The higher ups had reservations but ultimately decided to give her a chance. I was nervous, but truly thought she could rise to the occasion. She didn't. In fact, she's crashing and burning.
Unfortunately her skill set is just not up to par. She's making errors. She's causing problems. Worst of all, she's creating more work for the people she's supporting and it's making them angry. I've had to extend her probationary period already and unfortunately it seems that my only option now is to terminate her. Which will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Not only do I not like having to do this because of the position it will put her in, but she is my friend. And she took a leap and tried to better her position in life by taking a better job and now she's going to end up with no job. And I'll most likely lose her has a friend. I know it would be very hard for me to remain friends with someone who fired me.
So I'm in this state of sadness right now. I'm trying to better myself by taking classes, getting out more, dieting, pursuing dreams...but it's hard to fight my way through the daily stress and sadness I feel about my job.
I just hope that soon my world will get brighter and that I'll be able to keep my friend.