Friday, April 20, 2012

10 Cakes

Last week my niece Rye Bread turned 10.  This is both depressing and amazing at the same time.  It's sad because she's growing up, but amazing for that same reason.  I worry more and more about her innocence and her self-esteem and the people who will try to hurt her (or hurt her without trying).  But she's a smart one, and my hope for her is that her compassionate, creative heart will carry her through those rough patches.  Here are some photos from her party last week...

The birthday girl.  How the heck is she 10 already?!?!
Rye Bread's 10 Birthday Cake.  Base & mechanics by my B1, cake (the ball) by me.  With serious help from B1 who had the idea to just stuff the cake into the pans after they broke.  It ended up being one huge cake pop, really...

It shimmered thanks to luster dust and had a light pink marble in it-but it's hard to tell.  Also, I had to use gel to write the 10 and to make the finger holes, and I wish I had something else.  That stuff drips.  Ick.

My Rye Bread & I in front of the 10th cake I've made for her.  Seriously-how is she 10?!?!
Making a wish...I hope she gets every last one.

If you're wondering why it was a bowling ball, it's because it was a bowling party.  My entire family plus a couple of Rye's friends had two lanes for about two hours.  I didn't bowl b/c I'm not quite up for hauling big balls yet but everyone else did and it was a blast.  It was fun to watch everyone having so much fun playing a game that we don't often play.


I have to say...not a fan of this new blogger layout. It might actually not be new-I just have posted in a while this way. But I'm not a fan. I am not afraid of change, but it just seems like sometimes people i the tech world change things that work just because they're bored.

I look cute today. I asked B1 if we can go out tonight. He said yes. :)

 Do you know someone who offers to help you in some way and then drops the ball? Then picks it up again when you gently remind them, then drops it again...then picks it up again when you remind them again...then...well, you get the point. I have a good friend who is helping me with something for the wedding and she did most of the work and then just stopped. Then told me she'd finish but didn't. So I have to keep asking. I'd just forget about it, except, I really want what she's making!!

It would have been nice if we won today, seeing as how it's the 100th anniversary of Fenway 'n all. Of course, I'm the worst fan ever right now b/c the game's not yet over, and I've declared them to be losers.

Remember those little goldfish crackers? They changed them. They don't taste as cheesy. See my comment above about tech people and apply it to people who make tasty snacks.

There was a Nobel Peace Prize winner speaking at work tonight and when asked whether or not B1 and I wanted tickets, I paused and said that we might be going to the circus. I guess that sort of sums me up, sadly. Or not, if you're the kind of people who loves Crazy Wilson, dancing bears and freak shows. :)

We asked our landlord if we can stay here until October or November and they said yes. Our lease technically ends in July, but we didn't want to move, get married in September and then potentially have to move again in Oct/Nov if we find a boat. This will help us a lot, even though we're kind of done with living here. (If only the people downstairs would leave!)

 I've started to work out again, with the guidance of my physical therapist. So far, so good. I'm crossing my fingers that everything hurts for a good reason from this point on and that I'll be able to drop 20 pounds by the end of the summer. We'll see!

Rye Bread turned 10 this year. B1 and I teamed up to make her cake...a bowling alley and bowling ball which (theoretically) spun. I say theoretically because the device worked but the cake was too heavy. Rye Bread said it was the coolest cake yet though, because it was a ball. I'll post pictures up later.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I Wish

I've written and erased the first line of this post about 11 times already. What it basically comes down to is that I wish I were more confident and secure in every aspect of my life.

This year has really shaken my self-esteem. The clothes that I bought when I lost weight are tight and I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

I worry about a lot of things. And I wish that I didn't. I wish my mind didn't wander and wonder.

I wish I never gained this weight back. I wish that even after gaining the weight back, that I still felt beautiful.

I wish that watching (and measuring) what I eat worked and that I would lose weight even while not being able to exercise.

I wish, I wish...