I'm wearing a mask today at work. I'm sad because B1 and I aren't in sync with each other at the moment. Wednesday night we had a discussion that ended in him being angry and me crying. And then yesterday we just couldn't seem to get on the same page. We did talk things through and I thought that maybe today would be better, but when I woke up, I found that he had left for the day without saying goodbye.
He always says goodbye.
So I'm sad. So sad that the person I love the most in the world is upset and that the reason he's upset is because of me. But to be fair to myself, the reason I was upset was because of him. I don't think the things we talked about are major relationship threatening things. But they are real and I guess he just needs time to process and forgive. I was already there last night, but then I woke up to an empty house and now I'm hurt.
With the amount of time we're happy together, I know that these times are normal. And I know that we're so very lucky that these sad times are few and far between. But it doesn't make them any more fun or easy to deal with. I feel an emptiness inside when I know that he's upset and that when I get home later tonight we'll be walking on eggshells with each other.
We have to have bad times in order to truly appreciate the good ones, but it stinks, just the same.