I'm finding that having a more public blog is fun, but also, restricting. I feel like I have to be the "good" me over there, all of the time because family and coworkers read it. And also, if people Google my name, that blog can potentially pop up...which means bosses and other people like that could read my thoughts.
I don't like that. It's why I started this blog with a pen name. (As ridiculous as it is!) It gave me the freedom to say what I wanted, when I wanted without much fear of anything really happening to me. And so I am rethinking shutting this one down. I think I'll still post over on the other blog for family and friends like I do now, especially with the wedding stuff happening. But I'm going to try to make an effort to blog more here, once more. B1 and I have a new laptop which means we're up to 2-that should help the volume a little more, since we don't have to share time anymore. So we'll see. I do miss it over here, even though I've lost 99% of my readers due to lack of posting and interacting. It's still a nice outlet and record...
So what is it that got me thinking about having a secret place to vent? It's actually good news-I'm getting a promotion. There are some changes going on in our office and my boss approached me out of the blue on Wednesday and asked me to be in charge of the other two employees and to manage how we work. This is huge for me because not only will it mean a little more money, it will mean new challenges. And also, I'll be able to fix some of the things that have been driving me crazy for the past two years. I can't say any of this over at the other blog, because one of my new employees (who is now one of my co-workers) reads what I write. And she doesn't know yet.
And just, sometimes I want to write a funny post with shit and fuck in them but I don't because our family reads the other blog...and while MY family knows that I use those words, some of B1's family doesn't. And I think it would maybe offend them (specifically one person) and I would never want to do that.
And I can't talk about my family over there. My youngest sister used to read here and will probably start reading here again, but the other family members don't know about this blog. Here, I can talk about my mother and the struggles I am having with her-even though it bothers my youngest sister a bit, it's a good outlet for me. It's a very difficult relationship and I often feel like I just need to vent.
So, to summarize: I'm going to be posting here a little more frequently. And maybe, just maybe, at some point, it'll become the blog it used to be.