Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just a Job

I am having a really tough week.  I've had several minor health issues surrounding one specific area over the last 6 months and it's getting very tiring.  Some, like this last issue, is a direct result of the medicine I had to take for another issue I had two weeks ago.  I am VERY sick of having these issues and really don't know what I'll do if something else happens this year. 

In addition to being frustrated by said health issues (and the fact that I'm getting ANOTHER cold) I am very frustrated about work.  I've mentioned to you before that I really like my new boss and am excited about some of the things that she is allowing me to do.  I've learned so much in these past 2 months since her arrival than I have the entire year of being here.  It's great, and people are starting to see what I can do.  But then there is my coworker-I've mentioned her here before.  She's sort of a know it all and always has to have her hand in everything-even things that don't have to do with her.  She has to control everything and I hate that.  What's worse is that everyone here goes to her for answers because she has been here for ages.

Now, why does this bother me?  Well, I guess one reason is that I like to feel needed.  And I like to be known as someone who can do a great job and when someone else is trying to take that away because they are a control freak, it kind of pisses me off.  And also, I hate being bored.  I finally feel like I'm making progress and that I'm busy at work.  And she tries to "take things off of my plate" all of the time.

WTF.  NO!  You DON'T need to take anything.  I got it.  I'm good.  As B1 would say, "I can do it myself!"

Yesterday this person came to a meeting with me.  She'll be attending regularly as well-which I'm still confused about why-but whatever.  I sit in the corner of the room-not at the table-to take notes on the laptop.  I do interact with the committee now and then and up until yesterday it didn't bother me.  Until she came in.  And sat at the table with everyone.  It kind of sucked.  AND after the meeting instead of giving something to me one of the deans handed it to her.  What he handed her was something he should have given me.  This sort of thing happens all of the time and I'm pretty sick of it.

I know it's just a job.  I know that I should just come in, do the best I can and let everything else go away.  But I can't.  It is very frustrating and demeaning to have this happen.  It's like I'm good enough until she comes in, and then all of a sudden I'm not.  It doesn't make me feel good.  And it's not how I want to work. 

I have to figure it out.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Randomivity


The most renowned cupcake bakery in town is right up the street...and I don't like them. I've had 5 of their cupcakes now, and all of them have been less than stellar. The majority of them are dry and tasteless. It kind of makes me want to open my own cupcake store. Across the street.

Good Mexican food, sangria, a good friend and B1 kind makes for a fun night.

The dynamic is quite different when B1 comes with us. In a good way-but different. We quickly become the entertainment. :)

I know I wrote a post about it, but I really love hiking with my love. It really makes my heart happy that I found someone who likes the outdoors and is willing to go with me.

I'm deliriously in love with B1. We know this. But this weekend I was really grateful for the fact that in addition to being lovers and partners, we're friends. We truly enjoy being with each other and have a great time just hanging out. It's pretty fantastic.

Don't freak out, but I showed B1 a ring I like. Hey-he asked about it, so it's not like I just went shopping and brought it up!

We're thinking of going on a trip in January or February. Instead of giving each other presents for Christmas, we'll take this trip...it won't be a long trip, and we're on a tight budget-any suggestions? I thought maybe cruise...

Sometimes a person just looks like a cute baby bear. Who happens to be crazy. ;)

When B1 is around, you have to watch out for falling nuts.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Choose Our Course(s)

A few weeks ago I decided that once a month I would cook a "nice" dinner for B1 and I. The plan is to pull recipes from some of my cookbooks-preferably things I have not made before. And, because I'm a geeky blogger, I thought "Why not let my readers decide what I make each month?" (For the record, B1's not thrilled about the idea!) So, here is our first poll...choose what we will eat for our fancy dinner this month.

First...



Next...



Last...




Thanks! Now-if you have a favorite wine, beer or beverage that you love, please leave me a comment with the name and why you love it.

Toosdae ?'s

1.  Would you rather be blissfully ignorant or painfully in the know?  (For example, if someone was cheating on you would you would you like to know, even if it didn't affect your day to day life?)

2.  If you could go back to school or take an adult education class somewhere-what class would you choose?

3.  What is your favorite Halloween candy?

1.  Deep down, I want to know-and I hate being made a fool.  But sometimes I think it might be better to just go through life not knowing that the people you trust and/or care about took advantage of you, lied to you or talked about you behind your back.

2.  This is tough.  I'm trying to take some adult education classes and am thinking about taking a class here at the university (b/c it's free!) but I can't seem to decide what to take.  I'd love to take a creative class, or a cooking class or some sort, but then there are writing classes, fitness classes and self improvement classes that area also enticing.  I'd take them all, except they are expensive.  So I can only take one or two...(I was on a waitlist for a class that meets tonight-bummer that I didn't get in!)

3.  Hmmm...thinking back to when I used to Trick or Treat, I'd say Snickers.  They were somewhat rare-I think b/c they were more expensive at the time-and when I found one in my pillowcase, I'd be very happy.  I also loved when we got bubble gum for some reason too.

Monday, October 18, 2010

All Hale to the Woods

This weekend B1 and I took advantage of the beautiful (but a little chilly) weather and went hiking.  We went here.  Neither of us had been before and because it's relatively close (within a 1/2 hour) to where we live, we thought it was a great choice for an afternoon hike.  We chose to walk the loop around the water-an "easy" hike by their standards with mostly flat trails and some "moderate" inclines.  They say it's only about a mile.  Both B1 and I think they lied.  It seemed like it was much longer-which is just fine with both of us (I think) but it was just odd.  The trail itself was pretty-weaving in and out of the woods over to the water...in a delightful twist, there were little offshoots with wooden plank "bridges" or rocks that would bring us to hidden pockets of wonder.  One in particular made me feel like a little girl again.  It started out as a regular enough trail but then the vegetation got a little thicker.  I think that normal people might then turn around, but there were rocks sort of calling our name and we followed them.  When we reached the end, we were in a little cleaning with water on either side.  It felt completely isolated and secret and it's the very type of place that I used to play in for hours when I was little.  I even told B1 that if I lived there, my table would be in the 3 pronged tree and my stove would be a rock placed a little farther away.  I wish I remembered my camera because I suspect I'd look back at that place every now and then and smile.  Even as I remember it now, I daydream about playing house there.

I love the woods.  I know it's a direct result of where I grew up and how my cousin and I would play for hours surrounded by trees, ferns and mud.  I love the way the sun filters itself through the leaves, the sound they make when they rustle in the wind and the soft crunching our shoes make as we walk along the paths.  And the smells...earthy and rich with minerals, light and breezy...warm and sunny.  Those are smells that only someone who grew up in New England knows the way I do.  And being able to share those things with the man I love is heavenly. 

B1's legs are naturally longer than mine and so I let him go ahead of me.  He's often 3 or 4 steps in front of me.  It's blissful following him through the woods.  And knowing that when the trail gets a little wider, that he'll turn around and reach out his hand so we can walk like that for a little while, is so wonderful...it's good to be in love with B1.  And it's good to be loved by B1.  :)