Friday, August 20, 2010

It's a sad day here at work today.  It's my favorite persons last day and even though we're friends outside of work I'm sad he's leaving.  One of the dean's is also leaving the office (though not the university).  So it's a sad day.  I'll miss seeing their faces here.

I made them pecan pie.  It's my friends favorite pie so it was a natural choice.  I'm told it's fantastic-I'll have to taste it in a bit.

Because it's nice out and because it's my last day without a boss, I've decided to take a 1/2 day and go to the beach.  Wouldn't it rock if I could go to the beach pictured here?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Reflections

I've been having a rough week.  I bring this on myself because instead of asking people for help or talking things out, I internalize them and try to figure out how to cope alone.  It's one of my major character flaws, in my opinion, but ironically also one of my strengths.  I'm independent and can live on my own and take care of myself.

But I'm learning that life is much much happier and enjoyable if I step back and realize that being SO independent isn't really necessary-or healthy.

I need to ask for help.  I need to tell someone when I'm starting to feel anxious about life or when I need reassurance or guidance or advice...or no advice but an open ear.  And I need to do this before I'm stressed and sick with worry or angry about this situation in question.

I've always been this way.  The main reason is that from a very young age, I felt like I had no one to turn to and that I had to fend for myself.  I've shared with you that my childhood-while not nearly as traumatic and horrible as many others had-was not ideal.  I grew up feeling alone in almost every situation and learned to love my solitude.  I lived inside a world that I created to distract myself from what was really going on.  I protected myself and trying to forget how to do that, even now, is hard.

Another thing I have to remind myself of is that my life today is nothing like the life I had 6 years ago, 10 years ago...or, for that matter, even 1 year ago.  The person that I share my life with is open and understanding and genuinely cares if I am upset.  He listens, discusses and comforts.  When it's something that we need to work on together regarding our relationship, we talk about that too and come to a resolution-or at least to a point where one of us can say we'll try harder to stop doing one thing or another.  And so, I have to remind myself that this man I am in love with is not at all like any of the men I have loved before and that a bump in the road does not mean he will love me less.  Or that he will find someone else.  Or leave.

That's a hard one...I'll admit.  And I try not to vocalize this fear because I don't want to seem needy or that I am not confident-but some days I just feel like I need him to tell me to stop being silly and that he loves me and that he won't leave me.  Perhaps this is because we're still new, even though it seems like we've known each other far longer than we have.  And perhaps it's because I love him so fiercely I worry that I will lose him.  But whatever the reason, I need to remind myself to shut my brain off when it starts thinking those thoughts and instead to focus on things we do to make each other know we love one another.

I guess it's always good to re-evaluate and remember, but I'd like to work on having to do these things less often.  Instead I'd like having these positive things more ingrained in my soul.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Randomivity

When you go camping, you should bring a spoon.

You should also inquire as to whether or not the people across from you have a bazillion kids.

Rock walls should always be explored.

I have to remember that life is not perfect. Rather, I need to find perfection in the imperfection and not get sad when things aren't 100% perfect.

And just because things aren't perfect, I need to stop thinking that the life I now know will end.

I've been beading a veil like a mad woman. I'm not sure I'll have it done by the unofficial deadline.

I have a friend who I love, however she's very negative. She finds a way to point out the bad stuff all of the time and sometimes I just can't take it.

There are many changes happening in my office. One is good (my new boss arrives Monday) and the others are sad (1 dean is leaving to go back to teach and my favorite friend is going to another university). Friday is their last day. :(

Being brave is sort of hard.

I need a magic wand. I would use this wand to finish every project in the apartment so that I can feel 100% settled and more relaxed.

They are fixing the roof in my building at work. It's really effing annoying to be in a building for 8 hours while they are banging on it.

I just *love* that my bank emails me to tell me that I'm overdrawn and that if I don't put more money in it, I'll be charged even more money. I'm pretty sure if I had the money, I'd put it in the bank.

I want/need to go on vacation and it should include the ocean. Preferably a clear blue one with margaritas.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Toosdae ?'s

Happy Toosdae! 

1.  If you were given the choice for breakfast between any pastry in the world what would you choose?  How often do you eat that type of pastry now?

2.  Assuming you are shopping for food for the week: What section of the grocery store do you start in?

3.  In passing, people often say, "Hi, how are you?"  Do you reply with your answer or do you simply say hi back?  Do you reciprocate the question?


My answers:
1.  I really enjoy a good cheese danish or better yet-a cheese crumb cake.  I don't eat either very often at all because they are deadly, but if I had a choice of what to pick, I'd pick that.

2.  I almost always shop in the produce section first, even if it's not the immediate section you enter into.  I probably do this because most stores have you enter there and it became habit but now I write my shopping lists with produce on top...yes, I organize my lists based on isles.

3.  I usually answer back by saying, "Good thanks, and you?"  or "Good thanks, how are you?"  It's very rare I give my real answer ("I'm actually pretty tired today and am feeling a little blue." because I realize that the people asking really don't care-they are just being polite.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Camping 2010

















Weekend by Numbers

2 New Camping Chairs for
2 Excited Campers
8 the number of our campsite on "R" Road
3 Poles to put up the tent
8 (?) Beef Kabob's (from 2 Steaks)
200* Annoyingly loud and abrasive camping neighbors yelling over nature
36 Arcade tickets lost (or pick pocketed!)
2 Sparkly bracelets won
1 Carousel ride
2 Pastries bought from the bakery we forgot to go to
1 Rock wall followed
30 minutes sitting on a bench looking for frogs
6 (or 8) Shots of Tequila in a mini bottle
1 Pair of underwear lost for good
3 Mosquito bites B1 got on his body while looking for a place to nap
7million Thank yous and thoughts that life is perfect
1 Time I said it out loud
2 Eyebrows waxed
1 Face shaved

1 Perfect Weekend

*Not really 200, but there were a lot of them and we wanted to kill them!


I have pictures-but they are at home....I'll post some later tonight.