Saturday, May 08, 2010

Friday in Pictures

"Father's Day" 2010...

Dinner at Stephanie' of the places I've wanted to go to since living here.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Today... life is perfect.

B1 continues to amaze me and continues to be super duper awesome. He makes me melt and when I look at him I am in disbelief that this amazing man wants to be with me. I am very grateful and feel very blessed...

...and I am waiting for my father to arrive with my new flat screen tv...we'll head to the Museum of Science, dinner and then the Sox/Yankees game tonight. This was his father's day gift from me and it looks like it's going to be a wonderfully beautiful day.

Of course, it could snow* right now and I'd still be giggling and smiling...


*But I really hope it doesn't snow.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

The Reminder of Fear

Tonight I had to look at myself in the mirror (literally) and say, "Don't fight this-it's worth taking the leap." Is that normal? Or is it just me who starts to feel a little uneasy when things are going so well? I think it's fairly normal to be cautious at first...but the weird thing is, I'm not being cautious. I'm saying what I feel and doing what makes me happy. Maybe that's why I'm feeling this way?

I need to clarify this feeling-it is in no way doubt...B1 is wonderful and awesome and caring and lovely. And I really want us to work and really want us to fall in love and live happily ever after. And I think that's the reason I'm uneasy.

Another major reason is probably because today of all days my shoulder and neck really went out of whack. Of all days...the first full day I am someones out loud, for real, very public girlfriend...I have a reminder of Jamie...loud and clear, stabbing me in the shoulder, telling me to protect myself because when you let people in, you get hurt. I get frustrated when the pain is too real to forget because though I think he has a very tortured soul, he essentially got to walk away unharmed and can move on without these reminders. And I am here, having to explain to a wonderful, wonderful man why I'm a little sad and have to hope that he doesn't think I have too much baggage to continue being my boyfriend.

He's so wonderful though, that he tells me it's OK and that if I need him just say the word...

B1...I need u.

**Update: Thursday, 10:23am...I am better. Special thanks to Trav (whose comments always make me take inventory of my feelings and to move past them) and to Lisa (who shared something she's not told anyone before.) I'm better...thank you.


I had my boyfriend over to watch the game last night. My boyfriend. :)

Being silly and acting like we are in 7th grade is fun and refreshing.

When a drunk friend says to your new date: "I hope you grow to love her a lot." and then someone else adds: "...tenderly." there's a little bit of trepidation that the new date will be scared away.

But then again, he's pretty bitchin, so...

I feel badly that the request for autographs was a scam.

I found out that I like to be the "little spoon". Until last night, I never realized there was a name for it.

I think I found my rock. I've held it in my hand every night since Saturday, when I stole it from the beach...

(Guess What?)

I have a boyfriend. :)

*sigh* :)

Monday, May 03, 2010

Toosdae ?'s

Happy Toosdae everyone! Not only is the sun shining in my heart, it's also shining in the sky-WOW-what a beautiful morning! It's actually my favorite kind of day...about 70 degrees, a little breezy, bright blue skies and no humidity. I almost wanted to drive right past work so I could sit under a tree and day dream all day...

1. If today was your birthday, what kind of cake would you request?

2. What would you ask for as presents?

3. When you give people gifts, do you generally wrap them or put them in a decorative bag?

1. If today was my birthday I would want a Carvel ice cream cake...chocolate crunchies and blue gel writing somehow just make me smile. Especially from Carvel.

2. Hmmm...I would probably ask for money sadly, because I have one again found myself with not enough. Especially now that I'm not cooking but have been living like I am. I would also ask for clothing.

3. I love wrapping them. I like finding pretty or funky paper and wrapping them with ribbons and gift littlest sister has been known to comment on how pretty my presents always are. :)

Rock Walls and Corn Hole

Somehow Monday isn't so bad because of the fantastic Saturday I had...

B1 and I had a special day planned-he was taking me to some of his favorite places along the water and I was making us a picnic lunch. We were also invited to my friend Josh's BBQ (as a couple) and he very much wanted to go with me. (I think that he was as enthusiastic as he was about it because I told him about how I was someones secret fake girlfriend and how he never came anywhere with me.)

We drove around by the water for an hour or so while he pointed out different places and enjoyed the weather and each others company. For lunch we walked out onto a rock wall in the water, put a blanket down and ate the picnic lunch I made. It was amazing. I need to find another word to use because somehow that just doesn't seem good enough anymore. We sat on the rocks and watched the water, talked about our feelings for each other, and other wonderful things. Sometimes we just sat with our arms around each other and enjoyed the fact that we found each other. Magical, amazing...fantastic.

After a couple of hours we made our way over to my friend's house. We ate, played games with other people and had a few drinks. He hugged me and kissed me and held my hand and while we were watching other people play games he had his arm around me. He makes me feel so special.

*sigh* :)

And he's still getting awesomer every day.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Help Needed

I need your help!

My sister is getting married in October and I would like to sing a song at her reception. Hopefully my father will play the guitar and I will sing. I'm having a hard time finding songs. I'd like it to be a slower song and preferably a song about sisters or growing up or something that says I want your life to be great. (LOL)

I'd rather it not be a love song about getting married...

Any suggestions?