Thursday, April 29, 2010

More Awesomer

He gets more awesomer every day.


He was sick. And I was sad he wouldn't be there last night. And I secretly hoped that he was just fooling me and that he would surprise me and show up. And I was good with the fact that he was staying home to take care of himself so Saturday we could play.

And then he texted me and said that he was crazy about me.

And then he texted me asking me how the restaurant was.

And then he showed up and asked if we had room for one more.

Really? And that's why he is awesomer. Because he does stuff like that. Because he's crazy about me.

And my friends love him and he fits in with them just fine.

And then we talked in the car for 3 hours after they left...

And he. is. amazing.

We've made plans for a month out. Me meeting some of his friends, him meeting more of mine...things are going just fine...

Oh boy. I think I'm in trouble...

Triple :(

My cute boy is sick. :( He went home from work early yesterday with a sore throat and he text messaged me at midnight to say goodnight (he's so sweet) and to say he had a fever. Double :( I don't like it when people I care about are sick. Especially when we're still so new that I can't really do anything for him...and I like taking care of people. In any case, he's home sick from work today and this means that he most likely will not be coming out with us tonight. Which is OK, obviously, but I was looking forward to it. As long as he's better by Saturday...

Did I tell you about Saturday? We're going on a road trip. I'm making a picnic lunch and we're driving to an area of the state he really likes. I think it's near the water. I know there is a French pastry shop there too-we talked about it the night we met and I mentioned that I'd have to take a drive out on a nice day. In my heart I was hoping he'd say that we should go sometime, but he didn't...he just saved the idea for later. :) And so, I hope that he is better by Saturday. Because I won't see him next week at all. :( :( :( That's a triple :( btw.

Last night I had a very weird dream. B1's text saved me from finding out what would happen, but it went like this:

I was on campus in the building where I work. However, it wasn't work-instead, it was a time share or some type of vacation home. The foyer was open to the bottom level and I was standing on the overhang cleaning up. That is when Big Papi (David Ortiz) from the Sox came in. He was talking to me about contracts and being screwed over and how he just wasn't happy about things. I don't know what I fed him, but I gave him something to eat and told him to go downstairs while he waited. Waited for what...I don't know...but I told him to do that and he did. I turned by back to the foyer below and continued what I was doing.

A little while later I was going to leave the building. I turned to go down the stairs to the foyer but I saw David sprawled on the floor with his eyes closed. It looked like he was dead. Thinking that I somehow poisoned him, I freaked out and went out the back way so I could pretend that I did not see him if he was, in fact, dead. When outside, I walked across the quad to the admissions building and began making omelets to order like I did when I worked at the country club. Only I used a lot more butter and instead of a rubber spatula, I was using a ladle. Which is weird. After making a few omelets, I looked over to the building where I work and noticed that people were walking in and out-and each time they tried to open the door, they'd knock David off of the stool he was sitting on and he'd fall onto the ground. Apparently, he was trying to sleep (with a huge pile of pillows now) on a stool right up against the door and when I saw him sprawled out on the floor, he had just been pushed down.

The only other thing I remember about this dream is that once the omelets were ready, I sprinkled them with fresh dill and put them into melted butter for holding. Oh-and that David grew a beard because he waited so long for whoever he was waiting for.

I really wonder what would have happened if B1 didn't wake me up...maybe I would have been given a clue about how to fix Papi. *shrug*

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


I hope that the next time you drive by the intersection where you honked at me for 30 seconds straight you realize how stupid you are because it was your error. And it's clearly marked.

Chicken prosciutto tastes more better when you make it with a friend.

Having a cute boy tell you that he is "apologetically and publicly crazy about you" is such a good feeling.

Also a good feeling: Being told I am lovable. By said cute boy.

He is meeting more friends tomorrow...

Saturday we're taking a day trip and having a picnic. I am making the food and am a little nervous about it. There's a lot of pressure...

I started going tanning again. These beds are much stronger and after 2 sessions I am red all over my body. (Not burnt, just's the way my skin works.) Hopefully by next week people will notice and I can wear shorts and skirts without blinding people.

I started this week in hopes that my legs will have color on Saturday...I'm wearing a dress. (Yikes!)

I like biting babies. This concerns him but I explained it's not as bad as it sounds.

It's funny when ratios change from 50%/50% to 25%/75%.

I have to stop spending money. I'm not rich but I keep living like I am. And also, I need new clothes.

I printed the picture.

I need to move back into the city. I crave it, I love it and it's too far away from me. (Only 5 minute drive in...but I miss it!)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Toosdae ?'s

Good morning and happy Toosdae! GW, I am sorry these weren't posted sooner. :) I know you wake up every Toosday thinking about them. :)

1. When you go to the beach, do you like to play in the sand more or the water more?

2. Do you eat junk food (or fast food) regularly? If so, what do you eat?

3. What do you think was your most useless high school class?

My answers:

1. I love both, especially when playing with Rye Bread. If I had to choose though, it would be the water-as long as it is clear and I can see the sharks.

2. Nope. I never really ate it on a regular basis. If I do go the junk food route I would love to eat cheese balls and crispy french fries. But I never buy either for the house because I'd eat them all at once.

3. Shop class. It was required when I went to school, which is weird. Those kind of courses should be optional for sure. I would have much rather liked taking another madrigal class or an art class.

Monday, April 26, 2010

I Want You To Know

There are so many things I want to tell you. All at once so you know my stories by heart and so that I know you'll still want to sit next to me and hold my hand and that you'll still be as excited about me as I am about you. And I want to know your stories too, and I want to memorize them so that you are never hurt again.

I want you to know that I grew up feeling out of place and alone-that the true reason I am so independent is because I always had to take care of myself. I want you to know that the reason I don't like to break rules is because I don't like being yelled at and that I am a perfectionist because I never wanted anyone to see how broken I really was. Now, it's just a part of who I am.

I like to take care of people because I don't want them to ever feel as sad and lonely as I did. I grew up trying to keep my sisters blind and deaf and when I realized I couldn't do that, I moved. It's not the only reason, but I felt like I failed.

I thought I found a fairytale but realized it was all a lie. I sometimes forget that it happened; it was so long ago. I wish that someone tried to stop me. I'm not sure they would have succeeded, but it would have been nice if they tried.

I've been beaten, threatened, intimidated...and I lived my life in fear for 2 years. I go to the chiropractor because I was thrown down the stairs and pushed into a wall and to this day my body aches with that reminder. I am a proud survivor and when people look at me with pity in their eyes I no longer feel shame, I feel pride. I survived because I asked for help. And as you know, that's hard for me to do.

I no longer look over my shoulder when I walk down the street. The mag light that used to sleep under my pillow is now under the kitchen sink.

I love getting compliments but I am horrible at taking them. I'm getting better at this because I have finally realized that I am good enough and that though I have many, many scars-they've healed. I am strong. And I am amazing.

I thought that boys like you were already taken, or worse, didn't exist. I listen to music again, I giggle for no reason and smile to myself a thousand times a day. I fall asleep with a sigh and wake up knowing that today you will want to talk to me. It is not lame. It is sweet and I want you to know it means the world to me that I do not have to try to figure out where I stand because you tell me. You like me, like me. And I like that.

And your promise...I want you to know that no matter what happens between us, that promise is why I believe in God. Because I prayed for someone to come along who would say just those things to me.

And then you did.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Fun Times w/ Kurt & B1

So far, my weekend has been so wonderful. Friday night I had the best date ever with the cutest, sweetest boy ever. He made me cupcakes. Why? Because I mentioned that no one ever bakes for me and it'd be nice if someone actually put a little effort into my birthday the way I do for them. It's not my birthday but he used my recipe and surprised me! He even put them in cute little cupcake boxes and a pretty green bag because he knows it's my favorite color. This boy is sweet. AND he's a good sport...this weekend my good friend Kurt came to visit me, and B1 happily came along last night. That's a very good sign-I like a boy who's up for hanging out with my friends. We have a very fun date planned on weeks are dragging now that I found him. :)

Here are some pictures from last night-there are 2 not posted, but if you are friends with me on Facebook, go on can see B1's face if you have access. :)

Kurt had a way with Bella. He took several great pictures of her.

This might be one of my favorite pictures of me and a friend ever. So fun!

Kurt drinking beer at the Beer Garden. Also yelling at people for being ugly.

Us. Walking.

And now I am going to take a nap, and then going to the gym to work off all of the food I ate this morning at a very yummy Jewish delicatessen.


Bella-what the hell are you doing? "Saving the world!"

Hello smart people.