Monday, March 29, 2010

Plans That Friends Made...

My friends have it all planned out-how I'll ask B1 (that's the cute boy) to go out with me, if he doesn't initiate it within the next few days. At first I felt comfortable with it. And I suppose I still do. But now things are getting far fetched-like me asking him to take a small road trip (to a place he and I talked about), asking him to go on a hike (which he mentioned he liked doing, but I don't want to do at first because of my face problem) or asking if he wants to go to the Sox game in a couple of weeks (which my friend was supposed to come with me to but now can't because of a family obligation).

None of these things, I know, are far fetched. In fact, they seem pretty normal and if I knew him a little better, I'd be all over it. But you see, I'm not sure where I stand yet. And I know that the worst thing that can happen is he says "no". But I want him to say "yes!" (yes, with an !) and I feel like there's a fine line between showing him that I'm interested versus making him think I'm crazy. Which, you know, is also true, but I have to hide that for now. ;)

The plan I think I'm going to go with at the moment is one that my littlest sister and I talked about. It's the one where I contact him around Wednesday or Thursday (if he hasn't contacted me again before that) and ask if he's planning on going to a future planned event. Since we met at one of these events, it wouldn't seem too crazy that I'd ask and it wouldn't seem pushy since we had a good time together. That way I'll have time to further investigate his intentions and I can hopefully gauge whether or not he's thinking of me as just a friend (which is OK, but obviously I'd like to go with option #2 which is:) or if he likes me, likes me. At that point, if I'm feeling the vibe (which I have to say, I was feeling on Friday night) I can ask him to go out again if he doesn't ask me.

Why am I thinking about asking him? Well, in one of our group conversations the other night he mentioned that he can talk to anyone, but he's not the type of guy who can actively ask someone out if he likes them. Was that a hint? I dunno. But I'm not about to wait around just in case it was. Which is why I'll wait a few days and then put the moves in place if he doesn't do so first.

I just really hope I don't get played for a fool again. I'm just sort of emerging from the last time I was played for a fool and I really don't want to get put back into that place.

What do you think? Is it too forward of me to ask him to go out if he doesn't ask me by mid-week? Do you think it's a good plan to ask him to go to the public event as opposed to say, dinner or drinks alone?

Lemer out.


Bond said...


I think it is cool that you would do so...times are changed..the old 'women do not ask men out' stigma is gone

And Mags..if he says no - well he will regret it and you will move on because it was not meant to be!

LceeL said...

Do it. If it's going to happen between the two of you, it's going to happen whether you make the first move or not.

And if he hurts you - well, I know a couple of bent nose types out there who owe me a favor. I'm just sayin'.

SilverNeurotic said...

Ask! You've already established that there's some chemistry going on (he wouldn't have texted you if he didn't feel the same). I would invite him to the baseball game because it will be fun, but there won't be the stress of having to come up with conversation if things turn awkward.

Melisa with one S said...

Make it happen, sister. Life is too short to sit around worrying about the "what ifs" and it's too short to wait for someone else to get off their butt and ask, especially if that person has already mentioned that they are slow to ask someone out.


Marilyn said...

The boys always say it's okay when you ask them like this. It has backfired on me every time. On the other hand, asking if he's going to the event seems nice and dropping strong hints has worked for me also.

Men don't seem that good at picking up subtlety. I'd be like, "I love going to red sox games but nobody ever wants to go with me"... that sort of thing. If he knows you'd say yes then he's more likely to ask. I hate dating.

Travis said...

I know I'm coming in a little late. I'll tell you that as a man, I never mind if a woman asks me out. And whether it's me or her that does the asking, an enjoyable first date has always been coffee or drinks.

From that base, you can always go for a meal. And you have quiet time to ask questions and get to know each other. If it doesn't seem to be going well, you can always cut it short.

If you like him, don't wait. And don't hide anything. Be up front and honest. If he likes you, you'll find out quickly. Don't let fear and too much thinking psych you out.