Saturday, September 12, 2009

My New Best Friend

For a couple of years I've been wanting to adopt a kitten but never did because my apartment complex technically does not allow it. After this last week I've been really wanting a little friend who I can love and who can love me no matter what & so I started searching online. For whatever reason, I just never went through with the search (actually, I never heard back from them). Imagine my pleasure then, when this morning on Facebook my cousin posted a request for someone to take 4 kittens. After maybe...3 minutes or so I decided to jump in. So, in a few weeks, this little doll will be my baby:

Many, many other people in the building have cats. I've heard them and seen them in the windows. I'm only going to be here for a couple more months. It seems that the timing is perfect. She needs a momma and I need a best friend. And so, it is done. :) I haven't thought of any names for her yet. Any ideas?

Friday, September 11, 2009

Church

Last night my friend Jessica and I went out to celebrate her birthday which was Wednesday. Jess is so fun to go out with because there is never a lull in conversation and she's just so sweet and honest and she always knows how to make someone feel good. She's just good people and I am so lucky to have her as a friend.

Anyway, Jess picked me up and we made our way to our destination. That's another cool thing about Jess-she always lets me pick where we go and is super open to trying new places around Boston. Love it! So, we ended up at Church of Boston, near Fenway. Earlier in the year I was supposed to go here with a group of people but I had to cancel. Since then I've been trying to find a reason to go. It's really a cool place. The atmosphere is hip but not stuffy and uncomfortable. The bar has an exposed brick wall and the colors are warm and inviting. The chairs are comfy and candles flank the walls. SO cute-the exact kind of place I think of when I think of Boston. Which you know, I love.

For dinner Jess had the gnocchi which she loved (she finished her meal before I did-which is huge because I typically eat faster than everybody). I had the pressed crispy chicken with broccoli rabe instead of potatoes. It truly was probably one of the best pieces of chicken I've ever had. It was juicy and flavorful and while it wasn't as crispy as I think it should have been, I was OK with that. Along with dinner we both had their special martini of the night. It was some sort of special blueberry vodka which had a lower sugar count and then was blended with a lemon flavor. So it was a blueberry lemon martini. It was yummy. Right away we could smell the blueberry. When you sipped it, the lemon came through and the afterwards the blueberry came back. It was quite good. I had 2. :)

As I told you my dad wanted me to buy some clothes. One of the outfits I got was this one below.


Except my boots are a little more cool. They have heels and a pattern on the calves. I love them. I felt so cute when I went out last night and can't wait to wear it again!

Tonight my littlest sister and her boyfriend are coming up to Boston and we're going to a Red Sox game. I'm excited and sad at the same time b/c it'll be my last game of the season. But I'm excited that I'll get to be there again...and this time we have actual seats, not standing room. It should be great fun, as long as the rain hold off.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

No Mispellings Found

I have a lot to say but not sure how and when to say it. I've been processing a lot over the last week and I am still deeply hurt by someone I trusted. I thought that this person respected me and cared for me and I feel that their actions were not honest. The sequence of events that took place confuse me as do his actions. I'm hurt to know where I stood was not even close to where I thought. I thought I was an important person in his life. I thought he knew me enough to know that I'd be devastated by the fact that things continued with me while he actively sought out others. It makes me feel like I was just there until someone better came along; like I did not matter to him & all I am is a regret and a waste of time. I once said that this person would never hit me with a hammer in the closet. I kind of wish that was the type of hurt he dished out. Those bruises heal quickly and are more cut and dry to process.

I guess I just said a lot. There's still so much more inside.

I'm taking advantage of this beautiful fall-like day today. I'm getting out of the house and into the world. I'm doing things that make me feel pretty and special. I'm going to drive with the windows wide open and feel the sun on my skin. And I'll allow myself to being to form new dreams. It's a start, anyway.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Day 1

The first day of work went well, though my manager was sick and then left due to an emergency with her dog. She was the one who was supposed to train me. The day went by somewhat slow because there really wasn't anything to do. I walked around looking at all of the products trying to learn as much as I could about them. I also rang up customers and wrapped gifts. They're psyched I can wrap gifts.

Does anyone NOT know how to wrap a present? I know there are people who are bad at it or who don't like it, but to not know HOW to wrap one? Weird. The district manager had me ribbon a box to see if I could do it. I was like, "Really?" and then realized she was serious. Oh well. If the people they hired before this couldn't do these tasks, I think I'm going to be superstar. I go back tomorrow for another 5 hours. Sadly we don't get paid every week so I have 2 more to wait until I see any money. But at least it's coming in.

I haven't talked much about a cafe I looked at last week. It's pretty much perfect, in the perfect location, truly turn key and has everything I would need. Trouble is, the owner won't finance anything. He lowered the price by $15K for me which is awesome, but we still don't have that money. So I'm in the process of checking local banks to see if they have small business loans for start ups (or even for existing businesses b/c it's already open) and am checking on some grants the city it's in has. I'm not likely to get anywhere with these, but I don't need very much money and I am asking for less than what we already have. So that should count for something. Hopefully I'll get the money and it will still be for sale and my dream can start. That'd be one heck of a great distraction.

Well, mostly.

Toosdae ?'s

I'm not up to answering my own questions this week but would love to hear yours. Take a few minutes to jot them down in comments.

1. What’s the relationship between money and happiness?

2. What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

3. If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?

Monday, September 07, 2009

Distractions

Last week was a rough one for me and this week is looking like it will be rough too. However, I am grateful for distractions, friends and family who are looking out for me and trying to make me smile. It's nice to know I am not alone.

One of my distractions this week will come in the form of work. Before you get too excited, it's just a part time job. I will still look for a full time job (obviously) as well as ways to raise $20K to buy the cafe of my dreams. Last week I answered an ad for part time work in a child's retail store. What attracted me was the hours-weekdays only and until 3pm. I could still keep my weekends free and still work for The Family cooking. When I interviewed I didn't think I was going to get it. Both managers are several years younger than I am and I wasn't sure they'd want to work with me. Luckily they were enticed by my work at Disney (I told them I was a customer service enthusiast!) and that I am a chef. I did not mention unemployment not the fact that I am trying to find and buy a cafe.

The shopping spree I talked about yesterday was because it's been a very long time since I've had to wear business casual clothing. My old job allowed us to wear jeans to work, so I did. And the clothes I had from the job before that were from well over 2 years ago. It was time to upgrade a little bit. I am also happy to say that I am down one dress size from just a few months ago, so I needed pants that wouldn't fall down on me. Tomorrow is my first day.

It'll be good to have a purpose, even if it comes in the form of a part time retail position. And it will give me less time to think.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Therapy

I'm not in the best place right now. I'll be OK because it's what I do. I suck it up, accept life and move on. But right now, I'm having a really difficult time knowing which way is up & it's even harder because my go to person for lifting my spirits and giving me advice is not an option right now. And that, more than anything that went down is what hurts the most.

This weekend I had help remembering that I am wonderful enough to count. My therapy came in several forms...

My littlest sister and her boyfriend...

along with many, many, (many) tequila shots...


A shopping spree, thanks to my father. (Given to me for a better reason than just to cheer me up & to make me feel good about myself.)


And tonight my therapy came in these forms: Wine, a stuffed animal to cry into (from my sister) & a new place for me to write about the way I saw things, the way I feel and hopefully, the happy ending I always wished for.


I'm alive. For now, that's all I can offer.