Everyone pretty much left around 9:30pm or so, but 4 of us remained, including the hostess. Sitting around her dining room table was laughed and talked about many things, but mostly about men and women and the way we interact.
One person dropped off and we were left with 3. I just got home. It's 2:49am.
I've always loved long conversations that start out as chats and turn into deep, meaningful connections. I especially love when, hours into these talks, the person sharing realizes that they have never talked about these things. And talking about them makes them feel better. At least a little bit.
What was interesting to me was after he'd had this revelation, he mentioned that other issues he has talked about before were edited out of this conversation. And it confused him as to why he did that. My question-or really, observation-was that I found it odd that he consciously omitted this info, but then proceeded to tell us that he did so.
I don't know what he was talking about and I didn't press. He said that he usually edits things out more to protect the listener and not himself. To be honest, it scared me a little bit. I was nervous that he would share and that I would react the way he didn't want me to react or worse, that I'd find the information to be so horrible that I could no longer be his friend.
I don't think the last part would happen, but I'm only human and I too, have my demons. That being said, he's a really sweet and thoughtful guy and he's been a very good friend to me since meeting him last year.
To backtrack, I don't 100% buy that he omitted this story tonight for our sake. Why yes, that might be true to a certain extent, I think that he did so to protect himself against our possible judgements. I know he feels comfortable with myself and the other woman, and I think he worried that we'd see him in a different light after he shared. (I don't feel bad writing this because I told him this point blank while we were talking.)
I'm intrigued. But then again, I'm not.
I'm reminded of a good friend I had in high school. He was really my oldest friend-known him since kindergarten and stayed close through the years until he came to visit me my freshman year in college. He stayed the night in our room, on the floor, and things seemed OK. Then the next night my roommate started crying and didn't want to go to sleep. I asked her why and she told me that during the night he'd tried to touch her several times and tried to get into bed with her, even as she said no. I felt terrible and also felt betrayed and disgusted. I asked him to leave and never talked to him again. I found out something about him and could no longer be his friend. I don't want that to happen with this guy. He's pretty great. I'd be crushed if I found out he was a monster.
Our conversation just really meant a lot to me. It wasn't one sided-the 3 of us shared things with each other equally and as we compared stories what ended up happening was we all got acknowledgement....that we weren't over reacting or that we did the right thing. Or that even though we thought we were the "only ones" that really, we were not alone.
It's good to have discoveries. And it's good to have friends to walk through them with.
Tonight was a good night.