I Will Be Away From My Blog 7/4-7/11 (at least)

I am here for the week...


Hopefully having a few of these...


And sporting one of these...


pLaYInG in the sand w/ this pretty girl...


I hope that you all have a fantastic week too!

Randomivity

"They" say that this crappy weather should break soon...it's hard to believe. I'll be at the beach for a whole week starting Saturday-I'd better get some sun!

I'm a little worried about this vacation-a family member that I don't care much for is going to be there for a few days. She's very annoying and very intrusive and I fear that in my state of mind I might finally snap. Plus her voice is very grating.

My niece will be there though, so hopefully that'll balance it out.

Hiring freezes suck.

Last week I started something I've been wanting to do for a while. I began "teaching" myself how to run using a walk/run method. I did really well over the first few days but the pain in my shins and heel were too much. I've had to abandon it for now.

From what I can see on the Internet, it's shin splints. Every time I walk for more than 5 minutes it hurts. If I stop for a bit and continue it feels better. Weird. I'll have to talk to the trainer at the Y about it.

Last week The Dad told me to stoop down and look at the counter. He said it was "disturbing" that there were so many crumbs there, insinuating it was my fault. I wanted to tell him that I don't prep over there and when I do, it's only veggies-clearly not what was there. Instead I just wiped it wordlessly and moved on.

I'm really beginning to understand that he's simply very insecure. When the girls liked the strawberry sauce I made he asked how to do it. I told him but indicated I didn't measure so he'd just have to eyeball it. He said, "I'm pretty sure I can figure that out." in a somewhat snotty tone. OK...not sure why that attitude came out, but whatever. This is why I love it when you are away.

Random phone calls to cheer me up are heaven sent. Even if I don't seem to be happier, it does make me smile.

Kisses from little girls are also heaven sent. Children rock.

The older girl wants to get her hair cut now because I did...I feel badly because she has really long beautiful black hair and she's very persistent. Hopefully it'll go away (though she's obsessed with my hair now).

Money is dangerously low now and unemployment ends next month. Hopefully they'll give me a 3rd extension. I don't know what I'll do if they don't.

Toosdae ?'s

Saturday is July 4th & I'm heading to the house my parents rent every year for a week. I'm looking forward to hopefully seeing some sun, sitting with my feet in the sand with a cold beverage in my hand while reading a good (yet to be purchased) book. I'm also looking forward to grilling-it's something I took for granted when I had a house and I miss it so much! We typically grill 95% of our food when we're there and I'm the primary cook. Good times! This week's questions naturally revolve around this time of year...answer away!

1. What is your favorite food to grill?

2. Is there 1 food in particular that really means summer to you?

3. Do you like fireworks? If so, where do you like to see them? A field, park or over the water (or somewhere else).

1. I love grilling almost anything but a nice juicy piece of thickly glazed/caramelized bbq chicken is heavenly when it's done right. I also love grilling pork loin that's been marinated in beer, soy sauce, brown sugar and garlic.

2. My father makes the BEST steamers ever. I'm not sure how or why (the ingredients are simple) but at least once a year we get a huge pot of them and just devour them. Then (and this is what people freak out about until they try it too) we drink the broth. Yeah, it sounds gross, but it's freakin' awesome. Not one person I've made try it has hated it.

3. Yes, I really enjoy fireworks and my favorite place to see them is by the water. Here in New England there are a lot of parks that put them on, and I like that too. This year I'm sure we'll be at the beach watching them but sadly, I'm the big loser who'll be watching with my parents. Could be worse!

Manic Monday: Rock

I'm not sure when I started doing this but when I'm out and about-and specifically when I travel-I collect rocks. Actually, that's not completely true-I choose one rock from the area and bring it home with me. Over the years I have taken rocks from Canada, Mexico, England, France, San Francisco, LA, both Carolina's, Maine, New York and Florida. To my knowledge, I only have one left-a funky white Swiss cheese looking rock that came from the bottom of the crystal blue ocean while I was snorkeling in Mexico. All the other have been mixed in with store bought rocks or thrown away in frustration during a move.

Of all the rocks I've ever collected, one in particular was very special to me. I collected it on this night long ago when I thought that nothing in the world could ever hurt me and that everything I always wanted was just a breath away. It was a smooth, flat black rock that fit perfectly in the palm of my right hand. It's cool weight comforted me when I was alone in my dorm room dreaming of the day I'd be reunited with the man I loved. I held it when I was sad and it gave me strength to go on. I held it when we were on the phone to remember his touch and I held it when I read late into the night as if it were his hand I was holding and we were relaxing together. Weird, maybe...but that rock was a reminder and a promise all at the same time.

Years after my divorce (if you didn't know it, my House Broken story is about Matt & I) I found the rock stashed away in the bottom of a piece of pottery. Though it was still pretty, cool and heavy and it still fit in the palm of my right hand, it just didn't have the same magic it used to have. Instead of being a happy reminder, it because a reminder of our failed marriage and of all the dreams I had to give up.

Those who know me best know that in order to get past hard times in my life I do very symbolic things to move on. When I finally got rid of Jamie I took back a room in my (own) house (that I wasn't allowed to go in when he wasn't home because there was a computer in it) by painting it a sunny orange color-something he would hate. A simple thing, to paint a room, but also very liberating and freeing in a weird way. I think that this rock started that trend because when I found it in pottery I held it, remembered and mourned and then threw it into the Connecticut River while repeating encouraging words in my head. And it felt good.

There are times when I don't even remember that I was married and of all the people I've loved, Matt is the one I think of the least. While I'm not delusional enough to think that throwing that rock into the river has much to do with it, I like to imagine the clear, cold water washing over the stone carrying away pain of all the promises that never came to be.

I'm still searching for another rock. I'm certain that one day I'll find it.

For more Manic Monday posts, visit Mo's Manic Monday Blog.