You know what sucks? Realizing that you really meant nothing. And that someone could just walk right in and wipe you away.
You know what sucks? Investing time in someone who clearly didn't care.
You know what sucks? Giving someone your trust only to have it backfire.
You know what sucks? Thinking that there might still be something there and that a friendship can continue, only to realize that you are kidding yourself.
You know what sucks? Waking up at 5am to go to the bathroom to find someone on the computer and thinking it's probably just insomnia, only to realize weeks later that it was probably an email to her.
You know what sucks? Knowing that he didn't respect you enough to stop fucking you before he tried dating someone else.
You know what sucks? Knowing that she probably doesn't even know about me and if she does, she probably laughs about it.
You know what sucks? Being asked to help make his place nicer so that he could bring another girl home without her thinking he was not an adult.
You know what sucks? Knowing that he had sex with me on the same night he was thinking about ending things with me.
You know what sucks? Wondering if she gets to sleep on the special pillow he bought just for me and if he told her that it was just for her.
You know what sucks? Knowing that he was ashamed of you and that is why you were such a secret and why he never introduced you to people. And that he is not ashamed of her.
You know what sucks? That he gets to move on and you get to sit here and write angry posts because he's too selfish to have walked away last year when you tried to end things.
You know what sucks? Caring, even after all of this-even after you are left broken, without an explanation or an apology because he doesn't think he ever did anything wrong.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
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8 comments:
he lost the best thing that could have happened to him. keep ur head up. he doesnt deserve you. how neone could be ashamed of such a wonderful person is beyond me. uh asshole. love u
You know what sucks? That I went through this exact same thing, almost to a T. Including the last night emails... But guess what!!!
You'll get to the point I got to, even before meeting my husband... you'll realize that life is too short, that your happiness isn't mutally exclusive to a relationship. You'll love your new place, you'll make your new home and you'll grow and be secure in your new freedom. Than when you're not even looking, you'll meet him! The one.
Trust me... sweetie!! Been there, done that!!!
:)
Yep, what shutterbug said. I quit looking and then found it. I was not expecting to marry, ever. Then Hank walked into my life.
Now, I will add that if he didn't walk into my life, I would have been fine being single. Just different.
But I consider this time with Hank a bonus... and a gift...
Makes sense?
You are loved and you are worthy of love...
Most men are pigs. Most women have been through this. It sucks.
Thank you everyone...
It's his problem and his loss. Let it go.
You know what? He'll likely do the same thing to this new girl and he's probably done the same thing to other girls.
I repeat...let it go.
I'm taking the steps to let it go, but it's not as easy as I'd hope. Right now I just have to ride this wave and try to stay afloat...but I'm fighting to let it go. Before I was hanging on with false hope. That hope is gone now and I know it is over.
I just hope that she was worth it, because he lost a very loyal friend who would have done anything for him simply because he wasn't man enough to end it before starting something with her.
That didn't sound much like I'm letting go...but now I am. :)
Just remember how scared and worried you were about losing your job. And then the jobless state continued longer than you wanted.
And then, when things seemed the darkest, you won! You got a job on a BEAUTIFUL campus meeting interesting people and things changed for the better again!
Feel all those feelings and be ok with it. Dig deep. Cry hard. Swear, scream, pound pillows.
He is a bastard. You are so right. He totally sucks.
Feel it all and cry until you can't cry anymore.
That's when you open up a space for something new... when you empty out the space he used to occupy. Drain it like a bathtub. Let it all out by feeling each thing and mourning it. And then know YOU. Feel what's left behind... the beautiful woman you are.
Know that you have the brightest future of anyone I've never met! ;-)
I love you, stranger!
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