Thursday, June 25, 2009

Dead Flowers


I don't like who I've become over these last 6 (almost 7) months. I'm negative and sad and just not really interested in anything. This morning as I was driving mindlessly around the block for 2 hours (yeah, you read it right-2 hours to find a parking spot) I realized that I am not happy with even one part of my life right now and that makes me really, really sad. I have to change things-I don't know what that means, but this life is not the one I want and I need to find the one I do.

I started a private blog for myself to write things that I don't want anyone else to read-hopefully that will help get my thoughts in order so that I can come up with a plan. It may be drastic or it may just mean little changes along the way-I have no idea. Hopefully acknowledging this will be the beginning of something good.

12 comments:

Kat said...

Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. Sometimes life just plain sucks. You did identify that no area in your life is making you completely happy, which means you can actively work on making you happier.
A lot of happiness depends on having a job and what kind of job it is but not having one brings a vicious circle with it that decreases happiness.

I want you to be happy but all I can offer is moral support, encouraging words and a virtual hug (())

Brian in Mpls said...

I wish you the best of luck. I had to start life over four times before I found the one I was looking for I know you will get there:)

Desert Songbird said...

Prolonged unemployment really has a way of wearing down one's psyche. One of the times my husband was laid off, he was unemployed for 16 months. It was pretty dicey at times here at home, but we hung in there, and better times came around. Keep ahold of something positive, Mags; it will be your lifeline.

Ivanhoe said...

Just set a goal and go get it, hon! You can do anything you put your mind into. Even though you may not think it at first. We set our dreams and grow into them :o)
((hugs))

Anonymous said...

sometimes looking UP helps...
especially when no where else seems to help

Mags said...

Kat & Brian: Thank you.

DS: Trying to find that one thing now. Thanks. :)

Ivana: I have goals-just having trouble getting there.

Anon: I'm not sure if you are referring to God-if so, I have and continue to pray (and also give thanks).

Bond said...

MAGS: Believe me I know what you are feeling right now. I have been there...luckily (in many ways) it is only you and others are not dependent upon you.

That said...time for you to continue writing on the 'unknown site' and I have been meaning to ask..this family you cook for...do they not have friends who might want your services and you can begin doing a Personal Chef business?

Lois Grebowski said...

Hugs, Mags... I think you're on the right track. Concentrate on getting your mind and mood on track. I'm here if you need someone to talk (or write) to.

You will find your answers, dear... just give it some time!

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

silverneurotic said...

I've spent the last month or so in a very similar funk. It's an easy thing to fall into, but coming out of it really takes a long time. I hope that you are able to find something to brighten your life.

Mags said...

Vinny: Thank you-and yes, I am grateful that I don't have a family to support..though having one would make life better.

Lois: Thank you for your prayers and for your friendship.

Nikole: Isn't it funny how easy it is to get into one but how hard it is to get out? Stupid funk.

Mo said...

I LOVE YOU!

Travis said...

Try not to put extra pressure on yourself to have to feel good when you don't. It's ok to have bad days. And it's tough to find positive things in your life when so much seems negative.

Now you have a positive interview experience to remember. And you have choices for how you want to continue tackling your job search.

You're going to be ok.