Friday, April 24, 2009


I know I'm going to catch some heat for writing this, but it's just the way I felt tonight.

Sometimes-not all of the time, or even most of the time-I wish I were dumb and skinny rather than intelligent and overweight.

I know that you are all going to tell me that there are guys out there who don't feel this way. And I know or know of guys who say they'd much rather have a girl who thinks for herself and who is "real". But I can tell you from my experience with online dating in the past and from my night out at a local bar that I pretty much think these guys are full of shit and that they are just trying to seem like nice guys.

Yeah. They're "nice guys" who flirt and fall in love with skinny boring girls with (sometimes) ugly faces because she's a size 2. They'd never even consider talking to a girl who wears double digits, and most of the time when they do, it's only because they want to talk to their hot size 2 friend.

Like I said, I know I'm going to get yelled at for this post by at least 2 of you. And like I said, I don't always or even most of the time feel this way. But being someone who's always told how great she is, how pretty she is, how much she has to offer, and being someone who hasn't had a drink bought for her by a stranger in a very long, long time (but been with lots of girls who have) I can tell you that every now and then, I'd like to be the skinny dumb girl who gets to feel special.

**I'd like to be certain that you all know that I am not saying that skinny people are stupid and that you can't be skinny and smart. Not at all! Most skinny people I know ARE smart. It just seems sometimes that when given the choice between a stupid person (who is skinny) and a person who looks like me (who is not) he will choose skinny because he doesn't like round. Even if the skinny girl isn't interesting, funny or intelligent...

I'm sorry if it seemed like I was putting skinny girls down...I wasn't.


Melisa with one S said...

Aww Mags, I'm not going to yell at you. As a girl (okay, WOMAN. Whatever) who wears double digits, I know that it's a very normal feeling to have now and then. I'm married but still feel like that sometimes! (Well, not the dumb part, just the skinny. But I know what you mean!)

You just have to focus on how great you are, how pretty you are, and how much you have to offer. That's it.

Is it mean for me to say that many skinny dumb girls aren't even smart enough to truly appreciate the attention?

Sending hugs! :)

Travis said...

Awww honey. Some guys really are jackasses. Hang in there.

Thomas said...

Don't be concerned about guys not buying you drinks. The body's not made to intake alcohol, anyway.

Blond Across the Pond said...

Why can't you be smart AND skinny? Skinny people aren't smart?

Mags said...

Denae: Yes-absolutely! It just seems like when given the choice between a less than smart girl and someone who looks like me, guys tend to not even consider me because I'm overweight. It's like they'd rather put up with no brains just so they don't have to look at a more round body.

I know and love LOTS of smart skinny people!!

Sandy B and Dick said...

Yes, some guys truly are jackasses!

Rocketstar said...

Unfortunately, guys sexual drive is based more (not all) on visuals than "mentals". They want to have sexual relations with what is visually attractive over what is mentally attractive. The goal is to get both of course. It's how we are coded.

So yes, we would much rather marry the intelligent girl but our "head downstairs" (that rules us in many ways) wants the skinny girl.

And in today's society with the internet pron, the plastic surgery etc... that our youth is subjected to, it is only going to get worse.

But maintain hope, not all men are like this and there are all types of people and a type for everyone. Keep fishing. ;o)

Lois Grebowski said...

Hon, you're beautiful - just the way you are. And Smart is a bonus. All in all you're a perfect package.

I know how you feel. Just once...just once I'd like to walk into a room a room and turn heads for a good reason.

Yep hubby calls all 250+ of me sexy... but I just like to hear it from others.

katherine. said...

I echo about 90% of what your other readers have said...and add a bit more...(cause what is a comment from katherine without an opinion after all?)

There IS a difference is how people are treated based on their appearance...I know we all wish it wasn't true but it is.

you know I greatly admire your spirit and your talent...but never wish for stupid instead of overweight...

If you REALLY decide you don't want to be will figure out a way to change that.

Stupid girls will always be stupid...there is nothing they can ever do to change what they have been dealt.

I'd hug you if I could.

Ivanhoe said...

Well, my hubby does not like skinny & dumb. That's why he got me ;o) So I know men like that do exist.

Desert Songbird said...

I agree with you, but then again, I'm not single anymore. My husband fell in love with me when I wasn't skinny, and has stuck with me for over 20 years through all different weights and sizes.

The good ones are out there; they just usually don't hang out in the bars!

Marilyn said...

Everything you said is spot on and I'll add that some men would rather have skinny stupid than skinny smart. Men (not all, but a lot of them) like to think they are the smartest person in the relationship. Heaven forbid that you have more education than they do or read actual books or anything. Even when I was fairly thin I had that problem a lot. Also, it always pissed me off that I was expected to sit around and wait for somebody to ask me out but I found out the hard way that if a guy was interested and I asked him out, he'd stop being interested. I guess they like the chase. Thankfully Andy isn't like that but he'd still rather me be thin.