It's bad that 12am is quickly becoming my 10pm. (I used to go to bed around 12am, now it's more like 2am.) It's true I don't have to get up early right now, but it's also true that someone who's got sleep issues like me is on a dangerous road when this sort of pattern emerges. 12:28am and I am wide awake. I could go all night.
It's also bad that the only way I know what day it is, is by my birth control pills. Monday's and Friday's just don't have the same meaning right now.
I received a phone call from my former boss yesterday-I didn't have the heart to pick up, so I let it go to voicemail. She basically wanted to tell me that she got my separation paperwork in the mail and that I was "all set". Um, I'm sorry-but I'm not "all set". I'm unemployed and faced with a sucky ass job market and am uncertain as to whether or not I am going to qualify for state aided medical insurance. If that is what "all set" is, I'd hate to be screwed.
Every morning I wake up hoping that I'll see better jobs listed on the boards-and everyday I feel my heart sink as I see part time positions, or jobs that pay $11/hr. I know it's not been that long-just under a month-but it's discouraging. I know I have to keep my head up and to have faith, and to stay positive. But when you're sitting alone in your apartment all day, everyday without your phone ringing for interviews, it's hard to do those things.
There are people far worse off than me. I know this. It's just hard sometimes to let it all go and to believe that everything will be alright.
Thankfully I've had 5 orders to fill, and so I've been walking to the store and to the post office which has taken up some of my time. I've really enjoyed that, but am thinking that the shop will die down after this initial surge. It's OK-it's tough times, I know. It was fun while it lasted.
(The button to get to the shop is still on the side bar though!)
I miss my favorite coffee shop. It's still within walking distance, and I could easily go to it, but it's not the same as picking up my bagel and coffee on the way to work. Instead, I've been going to another good bagel shop across the street from me (in fact, my favorite coffee shop buys my favorite bagels from the bagel shop across the street from me-did you get that?). Obviously their bagels are fantastic, but their coffee isn't. And though their employees are quirky and weird like my favorite coffee shop, these people aren't as nice. I'm pretty "normal" looking and I don't have crazy hair, weird piercings or anything like that. I'm also probably about 10 years older than most of them-but at my favorite shop, all of these things do not matter. People of all different shapes, sizes, ages and backgrounds somehow meld into one happy shop. At the place across the street-they don't smile at me much and they act like I don't belong. It's pretty sad, actually, because they have a killer sandwich.
It's my very favorite bagel (everything) with scallion cream cheese, bacon, red onion and tomatoes. OMG it's SO fantastic. It's alot of flavors all together-but the crunchy, creamy, scalliony, tomatoey combo is a winner. And the bacon, well...need I say more?
One thing did make me smile when I went in there the other day-one of the weird girls (and I realize this is not narrowing down very much) was talking about a band playing on the radio. She said that she has a crush on the lead singer and that he was "sooooooo cute". The other girl (who is weird and insanely pretty) asked about him. This is what she got:
"He's sooo cute. He's soooo tall. And he whistles."
I kind of chuckled out loud to that (because it's what I do) and got a weird look. What? No one else thought that was strange? "And he whistles."? C'mon! That is definitely chuckle worthy. Especially when using it as proof that someone is cute.
Needless to say, I walked out of there with my fantastic sandwich, a (semi-good) coffee and a smile on my face because, well, I love this place.
If only I had a job...
Special shout out to my friend "Bad Habit" (who I think still reads this blog). Thanks for a fun night last night! I miss seeing you everyday!