Thursday, June 12, 2008


I know that between my plus size rant and this post, most of you who once thought I was cute will now think I'm an ugly fat hag.  That'll be a shame because I am not-I'm an everyday normal woman who likes to look nice and usually does.  (Although I once told someone that my true personality comes out if you look closely or know me well-I'm the girl who looks all put together until the wind blows-then my hair gets stuck on my lip gloss and I fumble to get it off before anyone sees).  In any case, here's the deal:  I have something called hyperhidrosis.  Hyperhidrosis affects approximately 7 million Americans and millions more around the world according to the American Academy of Dermatologists-but this doesn't make me feel any better when my face is dripping with sweat for no apparent reason.
From what I gather, this is a hereditary disorder-and I can tell you 100% that I believe this, as all of the women on my mother's side of the family have the same problem (though affected in different areas).  My sisters both have it.  There's really no cure for it, though there are treatments and in most extreme cases, surgery.  No one knows why is happens either.  So, pretty much, I'm stuck with it.
This has been a problem my entire life-even when I was skinny.  (My littlest sister, incidentally is extremely thin and fit and it happens to her as well).  What's embarrassing to me is that when it happens in public, I feel like people see me and think it's because I'm overweight.  Of course, it's not because of my weight, it's because of the gene I have for this stupid disorder. 
It happens with sudden changes in temperature (going from cold to hot) or when I'm outside.  It even happens when I am nervous.  My face gets soaked and the back of my hair is drenched.  The rest of my body?  Not sweating.  Normal.  No worries, pit stains or swamp ass.  Just the face-the most visible and embarrassing (and I think my best feature) part of the body-out there for everyone to see.
I'm writing this post because I was so happy to find out about hyperhidrosis.  I knew it ran in our family, but I just thought it was a weird O'M@&@ trait.  I am finding comfort in the fact that millions of other people are suffering too. (That sounds horrible-let me rephrase.)  I am not alone.  And that feels good.
Recently (yesterday) I researched different topical solutions to the problem and found a highly rated spray that is specifically used on the face and neck.  You are supposed to put it on at night and wash it off in the shower the next day.  Within a week, you should see significant changes in your symptoms.  I haven't yet gotten it, but I can tell you that of all of the other things I've purchased online (new phone upgrade, present for someone) I am most excited about this.  Not only for myself, but for my sisters, friends and family who who this problem too.
I'll let you know if it works!


Thomas said...

Hyperhidrosis or not, you're still hotter than a midsummer's day at Fenway. :)

Clancy in Idaho said...

Sounds cool! I'm excited for you. I am a sweat-er too. I don't think I have this disorder, but I sweat a lot for a girl. It embarrassed me to know end in high school. It's not a smelly sweat, for which I am grateful, but I do tend to get pit stains *EWWW*! (no swamp ass for me though, LOL! Swamp ass...LOL, again!)

Sorry, but I still think you're cute. Ugly fat hag, nothin'! You're adorable, and I like you even more for being real... not some fake cheese-head who wants people to think they are something other than who they are! Kudos to you!

Clancy in Idaho said...

know end... lol

Anonymous said...

OMG,,, I have this, I have hyperhidrosis too. My symptoms seem to be a little bit different though. I do get the hairline sweat, the back of the neck, the face. However, I also get the lower back and the dreaded "swamp ass". I don't seem to be affected by a simple change in the temperature but it does happen to me if I am even slightly nervous or anxious. Sometimes just a simple conversation with someone can send my face and neck sweating into overdrive. Luckily the swamp ass only happens if I'm sitting on plastic or some other material that doesn't "breathe".
Only one of my sisters is affected, the other one has been spared. I also have a neice who's hands and feet are severly affected. She's 14 and can't even think of holding hands with a boy or taking her shoes off. It's sad.

Desert Songbird said...

I have Pulmonary Hypertension, which causes me to become breathless when my heart rate is pushed a bit too high. Of course, many people think I'm out of breath because I'm overweight and out of shape.


mauniejames3 said...

OMG I have the same thing but the doctor tells me it's the "change".
My whole head of hair gets soaking wet and if I am stressed it's just so much worse...let me know if the spray helps...I would like to try anything...hubby says you can hang meat in our bedroom...I keep it so cool...I don't have arm or butt sweat...(thank God)...but the summer heat is really getting to me.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I hadn't heard of this before. If it's anything like hot flashes (sounds similar) then I really feel for you. I hope the spray works Mags. My fingers and toes are crossed. Have a great day. :)

Ivanhoe said...

You go girl! I hope that spray makes it better for you.

Lois Grebowski said...

I get hot flashses... at least I think taht's what it is. Doesn't take much.

let us know how the stuff works.

You, my dear, are not a fat, ugly hag... far from it!

Mo said...

So instead of swamp ass you get swamp face, that's what you're telling us, right?
Go ahead, smack me.

silverneurotic said...

I hope that it works for you! I also deal with a genetic disorder (not that one) I know how uncomfortable it can be when you are in public and you feel the eyes of people staring.

Rocketstar said...

Good luck Mags, I hope it helps.

Amazing Gracie said...

I had this problem - my eyebrows would melt off of my face; in fact, I had considered having them tattooed on!
The doc said it was just because of my weight...ARGH! I'm through menopause, I've lost a bunch of weight and I still sweat! It isn't as bad now and it's not severe like yours. Heaven forbid anybody notices, huh? I know it's hard but keep a stiff upper lip. The idiots don't know what they're missing if they turn their backs on the most delightful, gorgeous chef they'll ever meet!!!

Travis said...

Good luck with that stuff.

And I don't think you're a hag...I think you're very attractive.