The following was originally posted on 7/13/05...
You know when you see someone with something gooey or crusty stuck in the corner of their eye or their mouth? And you don't want to look, but you have to? I was that girl today! The one with something in the corner of my mouth! EEWWWWW! Luckily, I noticed it right away, in the beginning of my day, but it still mortified me.
And also, it was only lipstick.
The lipstick was brown though. Imagine what people were thinking.
There I was standing in line at Duncan Donuts smiling at people as they walked by me. "Wow", I thought, "That hot guy just totally checked me out!" Little did I know he was smiling because he thought perhaps I had eaten shit for breakfast!
Thinking back, the scary "I wear glasses too big for my face" lady behind the counter looked at my mouth when I ordered. At the time, I thought that maybe she was just so blind that she couldn't tell where my eyes were. It was that kind of head tilted back I'm looking through the bottoms of my glasses look. You know it? But no-quite the opposite. Her gargantuan glasses were probably making the tiny dark glob in the left corner of my mouth look like the black hole. No wonder why she got my coffee for me so fast.
Here's my thing: Whyyyyy would you not say, "You have something on your lip"? I mean, it's obviously there-and it obviously makes you uncomfortable, so don't you think I'D want to know? I can understand the hot guy not saying something to me-but the big glasses lady?! I mean, c'mon! SHE must understand what it's like to feel alienated! Wouldn't she want to stop someone else from feeling that way?!?! Or maybe she was oddly comforted knowing someone else was going to get weird glances...
In any case, I think that the rule should be: No matter how uncomfortable you feel or how inappropriate you may think it is, you MUST tell someone if they have:
1. Something in their teeth
2. A booger-anywhere
3. Eye snot
4. A big glob of anything on their mouth or face
5. Toilet paper stuck-anywhere
6. Their underwear showing by accident.
By the way, you've got a little suttun suttun goin on over there...