Friday, June 22, 2007

Around The Corner

I know that everything that lives, dies.

I know this in my head and sometimes in my heart too, but usually, I wander through my life without even thinking about it.

Until something, or someone-dies.

Nothing is really funny about death. But it IS funny to me that this post is inspired by a spider. A little, hairy wood spider that I found dead under my radiator.

A spider that I would have killed by spraying it with hairspray or crushing it with a slipper. And yet. It died on its own, under the warmth and security of my radiator, in the little blue room at the back of the house.

I wonder if he got to say goodbye. I sometimes do wonder if other living things of the non-mammal variety have relationships, form bonds, and miss each other when they are gone. If so, I hope he got to say goodbye.

I've been fortunate in my life, that I've seen much more laughter than tears, and that though I've seen too many tears, I always remember the laughter.

And once, during a time when I should have been crying, I was uncontrollably laughing.

In college, one of my classmates was killed in a car accident over summer break. She was the girlfriend of a friend, and whenever we'd hang out, Amy was there too. In that weird college student way of meeting people, she became part of our "group".

5 of my closest friends and I piled into the heavily tattooed red VW station wagon and made our way deep into Massachusetts. Though we were traveling to a somber location, we were jovial, and laughed harder than we'd ever laugh together again.

Nerves? Maybe. We were young, going to the funeral of a friend of ours-someone our own age who had become part of our own story. And instead of planning her sophomore year, she was laying in a box, cold and pale, sleeping peacefully forever.

But I do not think it was nerves that caused our hysteria. Instead, I think it was awareness. Awareness that at that very moment, our car could be hit, just as Amy's was, and we could be gone just as quickly as we had come.

We were aware of our youth-of the fact that faster than we would like to admit, we would be attending the funerals of people we "once knew" and our children would be the ones driving in the car, laughing on the way.

Yes, I think we were more aware of our own mortality that year. And, in turn, we chose to laugh.

Because there was nothing else we could do.

Roofing Woes

After the email debacle from my Craigslist "friend" I was hesitant to allow someone to come look at my roof. However, this gentleman had already emailed me and confirmed that he was coming over. So, armed with my cell phone and my car keys, I walked outside to meet him.

He was an older man with kind eyes. He had his ladder ready to go, and we walked over to the side of my house. He looked up and then down and then shook his head.

"This roof needs more than a patching. It looks like the wood underneath is all rotted."

He agreed to go up and look anyway, and when he came down, he confirmed what he had said before. Patching the small hole would do no good. I need a new roof.

This, my friends, is reason #54920 why I need to sell this house. And fast.

Happy weekend, huh?

Cocky Little Fella

I am WAY too trusting of people.


I've placed a few ads on Craigslist for help with my walkway as well as a small leak in my roof.

Many people have replied, none have followed through. It's to be expected, considering I've offered to barter my chef skills in exchange for their handy work. I figure if they reply, then it's ok not to pay them.

In any case, I thought I'd found a great candidate last week, but he suddenly dropped off of the face of the earth. He was supposed to come look at the roof but never got in contact with me to set up a time. I figured he'd changed his mind and that would be it.

Until last night when I got home from school and saw an email from him. As I was reading his apology about being busy last week, I noticed a picture at the bottom of the email.

A very graphic-naked-picture. Of a man without pants on. Close up. Displaying his hairless member proudly.

I was stunned. I laughed out loud a bit too, mainly because during these moments I think, "Is this really happening?" or "Only me."

(After I wiped off the drool) I quickly closed the email and went on to the next one. Another email from him, sans neked picture, saying he was sorry and that he "just realized that there was a picture attached to the last email" and he "hoped I wasn't offended."


Dude. You just sent me-a stranger-a picture of your cock. Or of a cock you want me to think is yours. And I don't know you.

The thing is...I'm not really offended. More like in disbelief. Why would someone do that?

And also, here's the sick thing-in the back of my head I always think: "Maybe it really WAS a mistake." He could have been sending it to his girlfriend and sent it to me by accident.

But I know better...but still-the thought always crosses my mind that perhaps they aren't as rude, insensitive, uncaring or clueless as they have come across as.

Needless to say, I don't think my roof is going to get fixed anytime soon.

*I didn't post the picture here b/c it is quite naked...sorry to disappoint.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

When You've Gotta Go...

There were 2 reasons we'd get sent home on the spot:

1) If we were caught drinking alcohol
2) If we were caught eating anything.

Lots of people cheated on #2-but I'm a stickler for the rules-especially when it comes to catering.

But I was so hungry. And there were corn dogs.

I haven't had a corn dog in years. And they are super good. And I was cooking them. And I had worked 5 hours straight without any sort of break or dinner, and it was 10:30pm.

So I dropped one into my side towel and hiked over to the bathroom.

And ate the corn dog inside the marble walled stall of the deluxe porta potty.

While party goers waited outside.





Myth Busters

Up until recently, it'd always been a rumor. It was talked about in books, during class, and was elaborating upon in colorful stories by classmates.

But until I started working at the country club, I had never truly witnessed it before.

Kitchen staff versus Wait staff. This mythical animosity I've been hearing about for a year and a half has finally revealed itself.

I saw hints of it a few weeks ago when the executive chef blew up at the dining room manager because one of the servers thought she heard chef say something mean to her. He did not say what she thought she heard, but the GM was called anyway.

It was quite the blowout.

Last night, however, was more textbook. We were busy. 90 reservations lined our books with another 60 tables slated to show up at the bar for dinner. At the height of service, the waitstaff became sloppy by ringing in tickets incorrectly, offering things that we do not have and promising food faster than it could ever possibly cook.

*I must say that I have great respect for servers and I could never do their job. This staff is young-mostly high school kids-and they are very immature.

In any case, the sous chef went house on this little Asian woman who was, if I do say so myself, very annoying. She kept saying, "Mussels...mussels. MUSSELS" over and over again, as if we didn't know we were supposed to be firing the mussels.

Finally he yelled, "FUNG (that's her name) WE KNOW ABOUT THE FUCKING MUSSELS!"

That's when it all started going downhill.

All but 2 or 3 of the servers got an attitude. They'd drop comments about how long things were taking, how things weren't cooked right (and they were) and how all of us had no idea how hard they work.

Rob yelled a few more times, some of the chefs on the line (including the one I was working with) threw out some insults and it went back and forth from there.

I sat back and kind of chuckled. They think I'm a freak of nature there anyway because I truly enjoy hulling 7 flats of strawberries or working a carving station on the buffet. Why am I freak, I don't know....but I just enjoyed watching the dynamics unfold.

By the end of the night, we were all tired and ready to go home. People had settled down for the most part (with the exception of the dining room manager and the girl I was working with-they were still fighting) and people were laughing again.

I hope that I never lose this love I have for everything culinary related. I hope I continue to be the one they think is weird because I like doing my job-even the simple mundane ones-and I like talking to our guests.

And, on a totally unrelated note: I really love Ready Whip.

Thursday Thirteen: Senioritous

Thirteen Reasons I'm Happy 2 Be a SENIOR

1. If there was any doubt about it before, we now rule the school.

2. Only 1 more month of tests

3. Only 1 more month of late nights mopping the floors and being elbow deep in dirty dishes.

4. I can diet again after I graduate

5. I'm 1 month closer to being classified as a "Professional" chef

6. Our final project is quickly approaching-a multi course dinner created and cooked by us.

7. Instead of "Award Winning Culinary Arts Student" I can now put "Award Winning Chef" of my resume.

8. I can start working a little more at the country club, therefore expanding my knowledge and realm of responsibility there.

9. TV. I'll get to watch it more in a month.

10. I can stop living out of my car, and start enjoying things like my living room, bedroom, kitchen and deck....for a little while anyway.

11. I can finally start to seriously think about where I want to be in the next year.

12. No more Tim.

13. Two Words: More Sleep.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Rockin' Girl Blogger!

A very BIG thank you to my friend Callie Ann for giving me this Rockin' Girl Blogger title. It's always nice to get feedback about my blog, but this one in particular means more because it's really feedback about me!

This is what Callie had to say about moi:

"Now this girl is the real deal. She is a professional Chef and she won't take any crap off of anyone. Don't even try to cross her. If you ask her a Question or her opinion on something, you better expect to get the truth, even if it hurts ya. I love this Gal. She is 100% girl and a real Rockin' Girl Blogger."

Even though I sound a bit like a Nazi chef, I like it. I like that I am "the real deal" and that Callie knows I am honest. Thanks again Callie-you're the BEST!


I don't understand...

~Why you wouldn't scroll down to see my Wordless Wednesday...

~How people can have a "Jesus Fish" on the back of their car, yet be the most offensive drivers-
complete with yelling at their victims and making rude hand gestures.

~How some people get away with mediocrity while others can't seem to make one mistake without getting called out.

~Why my boss continues to give me no work, even though I have asked him several times.

~Why the things on the list don't work.

~The sudden urge I have to throw things at the neighbors cat when they are in my yard. (OH NO! LIKE MY MOM!)

~Why someone was so precise in making sure I knew they were a convicted felon but did not elaborate on what they did.

~Why so many Jewish people at the club have digestive problems.

~How a parent can simply tell their child to go away and to never talk to them again.

~Why Carrot Top hasn't been beat up yet.

~Quantum Physics

~Why people stopped emailing me simply because I changed my email address. (I gave them the new one!)

~Why someone wants a picture of me in a very small pool filled with beer.

~Why people would eat a galontine. Anything that reminds you of a guillotine shouldn't be eaten.

Wordless Wednesday

"Dance Me 'Til the End of Love"

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Toosdae ?'s

This week summer makes its triumphant return, and with it brings sunburns/tans, BBQ's and picnics and fireworks. It also brings summer themed questions to Toosdae's. Answer away my dear readers!

1. What is your favorite cold beverage and when did you last have it?

2. What temperature is "hot" for you? In other words, when do you call it quits in the sun and hop into the shade (or pool)?

3. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? If so, was it in a pool, a lake, the ocean, etc?

1. My most favorite cold beverage is a Mojito. It's sweet but not too sweet, and very light and refreshing. I had on last Friday when I went out with Megan.

2. I like cooler weather best, so my top temperature would be in the mid 70's. I'd say at 75 I think it's hot, unless there is a cool breeze. Anything more than that makes me want ac or a pool.

3. Yes I have, actually, several times. The last time was in a pool, and it was FU-UN!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Party of the Century

$500 Thousand Dollars.

That's how much the party is rumored to have cost. I suspect it was more. Over 450 people invited.

Never in my life have I ever seen such extravagance, such attention to was amazing, and I am certain that I can never tell you just how beautiful it was. But I will try.

First off, as I walked up to the house, I noted that it was not a huge mansion like I expected. It was, however, quite beautiful with pillars and stone steps, as well as a balcony in the center. The trees were set with white lights, ready for the sun to go down. To the left, there were red carpets set up with a long hallway. Over the entrance a neon light read "Club Jilly", which was the girls name.

Before I entered the tent, I used the bathroom-a trailer set up with Port-o-Potties. I braced myself for the typical smell and opened the door.

To find green marble walls and hardwood floors! A beautifully decorated counter and a marble sink flanked the right side, and 2 individual bathrooms were on the left. This was when I knew I was in for a great surprise.

I walked up the entrance way into the tent. I almost passed out.

This tent was larger than their house and was set up into 6 different areas-or rooms. The first was an Asian restaurant with a sushi and martini bar. The next was an Italian themed restaurant with an espresso bar and made to order Pizza's. There was also wine to taste.

The next was the main ballroom with a hard wood dance floor. The rigging for the sound system was exactly like a concert.

There was a glass mojito bar in the corner, a brandy tasting section set up like a bistro. In the corner we had lamb to order. Dark wood bookcases lined the area with pictures of Jilly and her friends and family. There were leather couches, recliners and even a round sofa.

There was a Tex-Mex section and a Chocolate section with a Strawberry chocolate fountain. Chocolate martini's were served.

There was a restaurant called "Jilly Rockets" set up like a diner-with a full ice cream bar, corn dogs, cheese fries, onion rings, fried mac 'n cheese and soda. Mini burgers were made to order.

In addition-pass appetizers and desserts circulated the ENTIRE 5 hours. People could eat and drink for as long as their little hearts desired.

There were people hired to take pictures and act like paparazzi when people walked the red carpets. People to do tattoos, airbrush sweatshirts, make artistic pictures, and various other things. There were (somewhat) famous female basketball players such as Kara Walters. And the big surprise performer was The Mimms-a rapper that Jilly loves. (Sings "This Is Why I'm Hot)

The flowers were phenomenal-the same people who did the VMA's did these flowers.

Everything was top notch, top of the line and over the top. There were flat screen TVs over the dance floor that would flash photos of people at the party. The bars lit up, the furniture was amazing and the food and drink were plentiful.

I could talk for hours about this party-but alas, I don't have that kind of time. It was such a great opportunity for me to see how these parties function, and beyond my wildest imagination...
I'm just sorry I can't describe every little detail to you-as it was out of this world...



Wait until you hear about the mad effing party I worked at last night...

It's 2:40am now, and I just got home, so I'm not going to go into it now...but just think of My Super Sweet 16 on MTV and double it.

Effing Mad Crazy.

Working tomorrow from Noon to about 10pm, so no update until later-as I plan on sleeping until 20 minutes before I have to leave...

Peace Out...