*It's good to know that when you Google "Taped his penis" that I come up at the 6th link down.
*You know you've become friends with someone when they reach for the stray hair on your shirt-and it's located on your boob. And they're a boy.
*You're all going to ask me if he's single.
*It seems that everyone in my state is getting a haircut today, and I therefore, can not. I've got to get this frizzy mess under control! *Update...new fancy pants hair cut to be givin today at 5pm! Head massage...here I come!!
*The Mole People fascinate me, and if I didn't hate dirt so much and didn't have an oversensitive sniffer, I'd totally go underground for a day.
*You're all laughing at me because I was afraid of Randy the Ratfaced Mouse-let alone disgusting dog-sized attack rats.
*Speaking of dogs, you know you're in a rancid mood when you flip one off because you thought he was going to run into the road.
*Yes, I really gave a dog the bird.
*No animals were hurt during the writing of this blog.
*It is weird to have a dream about ducks flying over you-especially when one of them is the scored duck breast you prepared in school the night before-and it's telling you it doesn't have wings. How absurd. It doesn't even have a head!
*You remind me of the kid in that Cher movie "The Mask" and you're not attractive. On top of that, your red hair makes you look a little freakish, and when you dance in the dark, I am a little bit scared for my life. So, no-I do not find you funny.
*When 6 exits are closed on a major highway at 10:30 at night, it's probably best to LET ME INTO THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC (you hairy bitch). As you can see...I was being pushed into your lane by POLICE OFFICERS with FLAIRS. Get off of your cell phone (illegal in CT, by the way) and PAY ATTENTION!
*Getting pushed off of the highway in the ghettos of Hartford is scary at 10:30 at night. Especially when there are cop cars flying by and especially when your "check engine" light is on..