Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Randomivity

*UPDATED*
*It's good to know that when you Google "Taped his penis" that I come up at the 6th link down.

*You know you've become friends with someone when they reach for the stray hair on your shirt-and it's located on your boob. And they're a boy.

*You're all going to ask me if he's single.

*It seems that everyone in my state is getting a haircut today, and I therefore, can not. I've got to get this frizzy mess under control! *Update...new fancy pants hair cut to be givin today at 5pm! Head massage...here I come!!

*The Mole People fascinate me, and if I didn't hate dirt so much and didn't have an oversensitive sniffer, I'd totally go underground for a day.

*You're all laughing at me because I was afraid of Randy the Ratfaced Mouse-let alone disgusting dog-sized attack rats.

*Speaking of dogs, you know you're in a rancid mood when you flip one off because you thought he was going to run into the road.

*Yes, I really gave a dog the bird.

*No animals were hurt during the writing of this blog.

*It is weird to have a dream about ducks flying over you-especially when one of them is the scored duck breast you prepared in school the night before-and it's telling you it doesn't have wings. How absurd. It doesn't even have a head!

*You remind me of the kid in that Cher movie "The Mask" and you're not attractive. On top of that, your red hair makes you look a little freakish, and when you dance in the dark, I am a little bit scared for my life. So, no-I do not find you funny.

*When 6 exits are closed on a major highway at 10:30 at night, it's probably best to LET ME INTO THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC (you hairy bitch). As you can see...I was being pushed into your lane by POLICE OFFICERS with FLAIRS. Get off of your cell phone (illegal in CT, by the way) and PAY ATTENTION!

*Getting pushed off of the highway in the ghettos of Hartford is scary at 10:30 at night. Especially when there are cop cars flying by and especially when your "check engine" light is on..

22 comments:

the108 said...

Still giggling my ass off at "you hairy bitch"... hee hee.

Did she sport a 'stache?

Jake said...

you may want to try some anger managment classes alltho i dont know if thay have delt with flying the bird to a dog yet? could be a first.

AMAZING GRACIE said...

You are too funny! I hope you made it home okay - well duh. Obviously you did or you wouldn't have written this!

Rocketstar said...

"*Getting pushed off of the highway in the ghettos of Hartford is scary at 10:30 at night. Especially when there are cop cars flying by and especially when your "check engine" light is on.."

-- Reminds me of National Lampoons Vacation, just don't stop to ask for directions.

Thomas said...

"and it's located on your boob".

Which boob was it?

Brian in Mpls said...

What are mole people? Is that an east coast thing?


I thought I was the only one who had flipped off an animal..lol

Mags said...

108-No, she was just rauncy and deserved to be called a hairy bitch. ;)

Rocketstar: I faithfully followed the other people who got pushed off of the highway until I recognized where I was...all while cuing up my cell just in case I got caught in a shoot out.

Thomas: It was the left.

Brian: They are the homeless people who live in the tunnels beneathe NYC.

Asara said...

Poor dog!

Road Rage 101: Aminals are your friends, no matter what lane they're in!

Mags said...

LOL Asara...

This particular doggie is left tie up outside all day. Trouble is, he chases cars. BUT he chases them while on his little leash so he charges the road and then gets stopped short and then runs along side the road.

So, every time you drive by, you see him charging, thinking he's going to run out into the street into your car.

It always bothers me but yesterday on the way to school, I was in a BAD mood, and for some reason, my first reaction was to give him the finger!!! LOL.

Good thing the owners weren't outside. It's a small neighborhood.

~paige~ said...

thomas...it was her third boob in the middle
mags...you gave the dog the bird?
you should have given the hairy bitch the bird? or better yet, set bob freee on her (read my blog re. last night!)

Mags said...

Paige-I couldn've used Bob last night!!!! Oh....the hb really made me angry.

Crazy Working Mom said...

*LOL* You gave a dog the bird! You go girl!!! Heh heh...I LOVED this post. It made me laugh all the way through.

~paige~ said...

mags, you could have used bob last night and trust me i would have given you bob last night. i would have thrown in all hs clothes and food for a week too AND his precious car even

DinaLove said...

What is with Connecticut and its never-ending highway construction phenomenon? Seriously. I've traveled through it a million times in my life - it's not that big a state, yet it's always taken me about 8 hours to get through it. What shortcoming are you trying to make up for, Connecticut? Why can't I just breeze through? Stop forcing me to look at you.

Josh said...

Hahahaha...

I just voted for you in the Blogger Awards.

Drop me a vote if you have time in the best religion blog. I'm on the first page hopefully still.

Michael C said...

Although it sounds a little stressful, this post was hysterical!!!

Hawaiianmark said...

"taped his penis" - and all the soda came out my nose. Hell the rest is pretty damn funny, too.

Good on ya randomness!

Aloha!

Crazy Working Mom said...

Mags, thanks for making me think.
Come by my blog and see...

One who listens said...

And when you checked your engine, was it there? ;)

Owl.

One who listens said...

Oh, and I dreamt you phoned me last night, and you sounded nothing like I imagined you to be, which is weird really, because I was imagining it in my dreams.

How very surreal. :)

Owl.

OrioleGal9 said...

Too funny...and Hawaiian Mark's comment made me LOL!!

By the way...I love all the comments you're getting! Someone is very popular!!!

Skittles said...

Aren't random thoughts fun??? :)