Monday, January 15, 2007

A Swan, An Umbrella and Doritos

In my 6th year of elementary school I was in love with a boy named Billy. He was tall with dark hair and dark eyes and freckles that graced his slender nose.

He played the drums.

6th grade was the year we'd all meet by the big slide after stepping off of the bus to find out who asked who out the previous night, and who was still single. It was a small school in a small town, and so after a few weeks, our meetings focused on how long each couple kissed.

That is, except for me. I was not be asked out by a boy until 7th grade. And wasn't kissed until 9th. (But I digress)

Billy also avoided sweet coupledom just long enough for me to create a very romantic and unrealistic picture of why he chose to stay single. It was, of course, because he was in love with me! Oh, this shy, drum playing boy with chocolate colored eyes and spiky black he stole my heart.

Yes, he stole it, and gave it away to a girl months later. I found out in this manner:

Billy: Mags! I just kissed Tiffany for 17 minutes in the woods!

Billy B made my heart pound harder than anyone I had ever met before. He is the first boy I remember standing close to just so I could smell him. Our desks were often arranged side by side and by the end of the day, I would be drunk with love and longing. He made me laugh but also made me cry.

As the summer approached, my parents suggested I throw a party. It was the last year we would all be together as one and old friendships would be harder to uphold. And so it was that all but (about) 5 of my classmates came to celebrate our graduation. We played volleyball, kickball, and had a bon fire.

And then there was the dancing.

There's really no way to describe the level of self-consciousness that a slightly chubby, taller than everyone else by 2 inches, never been asked out girl feels when everyone at the party is slow dancing, but you. It's awful. It's terrible. It makes you want to run.

Some will say this next part is heroic. But to me, it's just plain mortifying...

My father paid Billy to slow dance with me. He even handed him the money before the dance, thinking I wouldn't see him because it was dark. I am sure he was drunk. My father, not Billy.

We never danced, Billy and I. I don't remember who said no to the proposition, but I'm sure it was mostly a mutual decision. Though we had a class together in the beginning of 7th grade, Billy and I hardly spoke after that. By 8th grade, he moved away.

Looking back, I'm not terribly certain what exactly I saw in him. Perhaps I saw him as the boy who would most likely go out with me, or perhaps he just smelled right, but in my 6th year of elementary school, a boy named Billy stole my heart.

I still remember his phone number.


EC said...

That is a really great story!!!

I think we all have a Billy in our lives - for me it was a Ricky. Boy - I was ga-ga over him from 5th to 8th grade till finally when I was in 9th grade I got to date him. Well - he turned out to be a first class jerk and I was disappointed... the flirting and the "secret crush" was so much better than the real thing!

Segue said...

"That is, except for me. I was not be asked out by a boy until 7th grade. And wasn't kissed until 9th."

Me neither. Is that unusual? Should I be ashamed of my late-bloomedness? I think I turned out okay.

That actually reminds me of the first time I got "dumped", which was pretty devastating at the time, but hilarious in retrospect. I think I might blog about later.

crpitt said...

I am you! its scary! i was the tall girl!
I think about who i fancied in school now, and think why!
Actually i still act the same around boys now, daily mortifying.

OrioleGal9 said...

Mine was Andrew...I had a crush on him from 3rd grade right on into middle school...never got anywhere though. Hmmm.. I wonder where he is today!

Bond said...

WOWO. remember his phone number.. that means it was special

Sorry dad did that...dads can do silly things...

Monkee said...

I had a "Billy" from eighth grade through my senior year of high school. No matter who else either of us were seeing, there was always something in the background that drew me back to my "Billy." In college, we met again and shortly thereafter he legally became my "Billy." Sometimes they turn out to be jerks, but sometimes they're just as wonderful as you thought they would be.

the108 said...

My elementary crush was a little hottie named Brent. Let me put it this way: I still think of him often. And, I've googled him a number of times.

My first kiss was in 6th grade with my "boyfriend" Aldo... this little, tiny italian guy who I have never googled. He came up to my boobs which were impressive by sixth grade and when he kissed me, I was leaning up against a wall in the stairwell and he had to jump to reach my kips. Literally. That afternoon, one of his older brothers called my house and when I picked up I heard someone hooting, "Aldo slipped the tongue!" in a singsong manner. I'm so glad I was the ne who answered that call and not my mother.

I have a similar story as your dad one:

My dad was a high school principal (in fact, he was Segue's high school principal, hee hee) and I went to the other high school in the school district. I had scored a date to homecoming, this awesome guy named Craig who I still talk to. Well, a few months ago after about ten years Craig and I are chatting and he tells me that one day at school he was summoned to the prinipal's office on a matter of urgency. Thinking he was about to be busted for something, he trudged up there. When he entered my dad's office, he was greeted by my dad and asked if he was the guy taking me to homecoming. Craig said yes. At this point my dad gave him a speech about how he loved me very much and would not tolerate me being hurt. Then, he handed Craig a wad of cash and intstructed him to take me out to a fancy dinner and treat me like a princess. And he told him to dress very nicely and to not look like an embarrassment.

Had I known this story a long time ago I may not have hated my father so much and maybe I'd be speaking to him Instead, I heard it and felt horribly guilty. Oh well. You'd have to meet my dad. He's a wierd guy. But he makes pretty good tacos.

Mags said...

Wow! Sorry I've been a little lax today on responding to your comments like I usually do. I'm working on my project which is due tomorrow!

That being said:

EC: Crushes almost always turn out better than the real least for me.

Segue: Nope. Don't be embarassed. But it's not normal. I can say that b/c I wasn't kissed until 9th grade.

CRPritt: I'm the same way. I wonder why we're programmed that way!?

Oriolegal: Don't try to find him. ;)

Bond: Silly? I'm not sure that was silly. I think it was the booze talking. More stories on that maybe another time! As for the phone number...I'm sure I remember it b/c I used to dial it 100 times a day and hang up!

Monkee: Yay! I'm glad a happy story came about. It's nice to know one Billy was good. ;)

108: Did the guy actually follow through? I was afraid the story was going to be: So he took me out to Burger King and kept the rest of the money...

Segue said...

the108, are you telling me that if I'd asked you to homecoming, your dad would have handed me a wad of cash?

Why didn't we think of that?

the108 said...

Mags: Oh yes, he followed through! We went out to a lovely dinner and I actually had the time of my life! If ever I score some pictures, I'll post em'. I was on cloud nine that night.

Segue: Let's think about this a bit, shall we? If my dad knew half the things you and I were doing during those years he probably would have been using his money to have you shot... hee hee. Besides, if he'd handed you a wad of cash I think we both know it wouldn't have gone to dinner. And we DID go out to dinner a few times, I think. Although I think it was with your parents, not mine, unless you count you stealing my mom's chicken strips at Friday's.

Craig may have gotten homecoming, but you had my heart, my ring, the infamy of scoring with your Principal's daughter and countless tacos :-)

Don't call and yell at me about this. I was drunk when I wrote it.

JoeBlogs said...

Wow you still remeber his number, give him a call!

kristarella said...

I had a boyfriend in year four that I kissed on the cheek (boys that age have soft skin!). My first real kiss was a dare...

I liked this story Mags, thanks for sharing.

Skittles said...

I wish I could have been your friend back then. I don't know what I could have done to have made things different for you, though. The way you use this blog though is amazing. I'm so glad I found it.

flipper said...

this story reminds me of ray m. maybe you remember him. i had the biggest cush on him for years. member-my best friend shannah, ya well after i liked him she did too and was skinny and pretty and i was chubby with thick glasses... and it killed me. i dont think a first kiss is weird in 9th. i think times have changed and kids are kissing in 5th but thats kinda, wrong. no? just thought id share! xo

Mags said...

Skittles: I wish you were my friend back then too. Just having one more person as a friend would have helped! And thank you for saying that about my blog!

Flipper: I do remember him. You weren't chubby though...I think first kisses started in 5th and 6th grade for us. So I felt left behind. I do think it's too Rye bread!

Mags said...

I can't believe no one questioned the title.

That's b/c Owl didn't read today...He would have asked!

One who listens said...

Yup! I'm reading today, and I'm curious about the title.

I imagine it's because you walked in the rain to the local duck pond under your umbrella and you were eating a packet of Doritos and a swan came up to you looking for food, so you gave it one of the Doritos.

And the reason you gave this story that title was because you were thinking about loneliness, love and the innocence of youth whilst you were there.

But I could be wrong! Correct me. :)


Mags said...


Just kidding...

I was so head over heals for this boy that when I won an umbrella and a glass swan, I named them both Billy. (Hey-I WAS in 6th grade)

The doritos...well, I once held his hand during a human knot team building thing and he had just eaten Doritos for lunch...that's how I knew it was his hand that I got to hold...

I didn't want to wash my hands after that, but of course, I did.