Saturday, December 30, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
It's easy to hide behind a holiday. Especially when you are good at hiding.
I don't know why, or what prompts it, but if I slow down for more than a day or two, it's almost impossible to pick myself up again. It's like I only have two speed-always doing something, or never doing anything.
And I don't know why. I know it exists-it's why I always say things like, "I almost wish I wasn't going on vacation." or "I want to just work straight through without any breaks." It's too hard for me to start the ball rolling again; too hard to face the world.
I have no anxiety or fears. It's not that kind of hiding. It's more hermit-like, more, no one can see me in here, I'm walled up in my own world.
And if I'm like this for more than a day or two-with no emails or calls, no doorbells ringing or prior obligations, I'll shrivel away in this little world until I can't get out without doing it forcefully.
I am at that point. Yesterday I received no phone calls. Not even from a telemarketer or bill collector. The only emails I found in my inbox were from a few of you who commented on my blog topics. I have books to read, movies to watch, dreams to dissect and dismantle, and so here I sit, writing in my PJ's once again, hoping that today I can find a way to say, "Today's the day to face the world again."
I always go through this-this sort of "post pardum" depression after holidays or major events. I like the build up, but I hate the let down, the aftermath. I try to find things to look forward to in order to preoccupy myself, but it's very hard this month to do that.
I have no plans, no prospects, no juicy gossip.
And I work the entire weekend. I volunteered to work New Year's Eve specifically so that I would not be home alone at midnight, and have found out that I am only scheduled until 10pm.
Not to fret, my friends. I am used to these feelings and know that they pass as soon as I step back into reality. I'll pinpoint something to look forward to, I'll get back into a routine, and I'll once again be always doing something.
In an effort to make myself snap out of it, I cooked myself a tasty treat for dinner last night. Croque Monsieur sandwiches and for dessert, homemade marshmallows with toasted coconut.
I'm not a big marshmallow fan, but I can tell you, these are divine. It's a big pan to eat all by myself though.
Oh well. I will venture out later.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Mostly everything fit, however there were 2 casualties...my oven thermometer and my measuring cups...I used a carabeaner to attach the cups to the outside of the bag, but the thermometer will have a new place in my backpack. I don't use it much these days anyway now that our class is only 5 people, and I can use the good ovens.
These are my fancy new knife guards that Greg bought me for Christmas. I picked them out specifically to go with my new knife bag.
I also picked up a new China Cap, pictured below...now I can make smooth sauces sans chunkage.
Also, as mentioned earlier in the week, I am selling books. I did let go some favorites as payout prices were higher...altogether I am selling 29 books for $40. As you can see, I need a bigger box. I just hope that it's not a scam. I can part with my books because I know it will pay a bill, but if I send them off and get nothing, I will be heartbroken.
Incidentally, I am also selling my pearls. They've only been worn once and are in perfect condition. I'm asking $250 and if you know anyone who needs a classy gift for a classy chick, please have them email me. The money will be used to prevent a Maggie Ice Cube. ;)
It's back to work for me tomorrow...why is it so hard for me to rebound from a big event?
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
The Kone, in pink. And the charger light is even pink. And yes, that just tickles me pink.
A Kitchenaid Immersion Blender, in red. I've wanted one of these since I was 12. For real. And, it's red, and that tickles me pink too.
A Kitchenaid food processor. I actually have another food processor and didn't ask for this, but it's quite the fun item to receive as a surprise gift! The only bad thing is it's black, not red. But now I have 2 food processors!!!
I also received gift cards for clothes, which I desperately need, gift cards for books from 3 people and so I had over $100 to spend! My choices included The Joy of Cooking, Tae Bo workout cd's, What to Drink with What You Eat and a classic Julia Child French cookbook. I can't wait to get them!
There were so many other nice presents-gift card to a chef store, Target gift cards and a gourmet basket...my house looks like a bomb went off!
But most of all, this Christmas was exceptional because EVERY single one of my extended family members was there on Christmas eve. Including one of my cousins who is "married" in-who never comes to holidays. Here's the true meaning of Christmas to me:
That's all 17 of us, and my Nana. The only person missing is my Papa, who died in 1999. While standing there leaning on a loveseat surrounded by all of my cousins, I couldn't help smiling to myself, knowing that he was looking down on us beaming with pride.
I'm always so sad when it's over...