Saturday, September 30, 2006
It's still crazy to me how sexual the restaurant business is. People are either talking about fucking you, fucking someone else, or drugs. Sometimes, they combine the two, trying to entice you into getting high and fucking them.
I can honestly say that the only way I'd have sex with any of these guys is if I were high-and I don't do drugs.
It is nice to hear: "You smell fantastic!" in a shy, truthful way, as well as "You have pretty eyes"-especially when I'm beat, sweaty and sitting on an upside down milk crate in a cramped dry storage area.
And being nicknamed "sexy" is embarrassing, but I'm not gonna lie-it makes me feel good to hear a compliment, and that someone thinks I'm pretty.
I got into a little fight tonight and everyone was on my side and they "banned" the guy who yelled at me. He took my knife (I saw him with my own eyes) and when I came back from eating I said, "Vito-give me my knife back." We all talk like that-I was half joking, but also pissed b/c I needed it. Vito is very defensive, mainly b/c he's a screw up and people constantly have to tell him to stop slacking off. He immediately started yelling that he didn't take my knife and that I should go to his station and go look. He wasn't being nice, he wasn't joking and so I said, "Why do you have to be so mean?"
To which my little Puerto Rican Prince said, "Vito-you're disrespectful-you don' gotta yell at her like that man."
It was sweet.
Another thing that I will never understand in general, is why people feel the need to point out the obvious...like for instance, when people are fat. Do you not think that those of us who are a little overweight don't know it? And giving someone a compliment by saying, "I think big women/men are beautiful/sexy" is not really a compliment at all. It's like saying, "I love men with really big noses" when your boyfriends nose is the size of a football.
I'm exhausted...I'm sore...I need a massage...I need to cuddle...I need a hug...I need to talk...I need to cry...I need to laugh so hard that I cry...I need to drink until I don't remember...I need to...sleep.
Friday, September 29, 2006
As with any profession, there are certain things that a classically trained chef must know how to cook. Mother sauces, chicken, and pasta are common examples, and generally the most popular. Last night, however, we prepared sweetbreads and liver.
We were implored to go into this class with an open mind-that as a culinary student, we should broaden our pallets and explore the culinary world without a preconceived notions about what we like or dislike.
We all did.
In fact, every one of us enjoyed the sweetbreads. We prepared them by sautéing them off after we dredged them in seasoned flour. (Just S&P) We then added capers, whole butter (by Monte au Buerre) and lemon. To thicken the sauce we added in a bit of a brown Espagnole sauce. It tasted much like veal picatta, which I enjoy. The only downfalls is that sweetbreads are organs, and I know that, and also, they are small-so not very filling.
The liver is where we lost out. This was to be our main meal for the night. Each group was given 2 large pieces and told to sautee it off, also dredged in flour-and to cook it to medium rare. (About 30 seconds on each side) For the sauce, we rendered off bacon, sweated onions and deglazed with a red wine. (Nothing wrong with that!) To thicken the sauce, about 4 ounces of the Espagnole sauce was added. We then placed the liver back into the sauce to warm it through.
It smelled fantastic, it look fantastic, and I have to admit, my mouth was watering.
We plated it with sour cream mashed potatoes and carrots, sauced it up and went into the dining room to eat.
One bite and I was done. It was disgusting. The consistency, the flavor-everything-it just want not for me. When I looked up from my plate, I saw Know-It-All cringing as well. In fact, he looked as though he wanted to cry!
All 5 of us opted not to eat our meals. Instead, we had some chicken quesadillas from the other class-but it was not nearly enough to fill us.
So, sadly, when I typically come home from school with a fully belly, instead I went home to scrape my tongue.
I can’t believe people eat that stuff.
in seas of foamy green.
A love, still searching, one day I will find-
it's there yet goes unseen.
With reckless speech and heartfelt sighs
I've waited in the wings.
A tarnished dove sits idly by;
I dream, as she sings.
In fluffy clouds and clear blue skies
I vanish in thin air.
And no one knows what's become of me;
I'm floating in a purple haze
and waiting to begin
Thursday, September 28, 2006
*Sometimes people surprise me at how dense they are-how "moth to a flame" they are without even realizing it. And how sometimes there is a different light that won't burn their wings, but still keep light in their lives.
*People are not unique. Typically, they fall into groups and repeat patterns, no matter where you are, you find people who are similar to others you've known in the past. It's not always a bad thing, it's just how it is.
*I'll keep checking the horizon, and I'll stand on the bow, and feel the waves come crashing down on me. And you say, "Be still my love, open up your heart, let the light shine in." Don't you understand? I already have a plan...I'm waiting for my real life to begin.
*Sometimes, someone needs to be saved or rescued, but in trying to save or rescue them, they are saving or rescuing you. And their gratitude makes you want to weep sweet tears of joy because you know you've touched their heart, and they've touched yours.
*Why is it that people who should have cars sometimes don't? And why is it that I know them all?
*Fashion tip from "Before You Put That On" by Lloyd Boston (from my friend DinaLove)..."Dress for the corner office-with the same excitement you had for the interview that got you there." Holy cow, is this the truth, and also, hard to do. All the effort involved in looking your best-every day.
*And you say, "Just be here now, forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin." Just let me roll the dice one more time, I think I can win. I'm waiting for my real life to begin.
Sometimes things crystallize and become clear. It could be in a word, a phrase, but everything comes together and makes sense.
On a clear day I can see a long, long way.
I never had a chance. It was predetermined-maybe not premeditated-but I never had a chance. And that is the tragedy.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Needless to say, I didn’t have time to blog when I got home. Sadly, I don’t have anything to write about, but I wanted to say, “I’m ok” because I know some of you worry when I don’t post.
Something did make me laugh this morning: I had a spam email that was entitled:
Hello, Moldy Fungus.
I didn’t open it for many reasons, but the title just made me smile.
I’ve come to love Wednesday’s. Having the entire afternoon and evening to do nothing is a luxury these days. Of course there’s studying to be done, and laundry for school, but I usually find myself reading, taking naps or blogging. I used to watch television, but my cable’s been shut off, and so today, that’s not an option.
Things I should do today:
Mow the lawn
Clean out my office
Study for the tests I have tomorrow
Call credit agency
Look for a new job
Go to Lowes to get new paint
Things I will most likely end up doing
Looking for a new job
Taking a bath
Trying to go to bed by 10:30-it’ll never happen, but I can try!
Have a great day my beloved readers. I’ll try to blog about something interesting tomorrow to make up for this lame ass post!!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
1. Newsflash! Due to a new town ordinance, Halloween has been moved to tonight! You have no candy in your house-what will you hand out instead?
2. If you had to be trapped in one movie for the entire length of it's run AND it's sequel (if it has one) what movie would you choose and why?
3. Congratulations! You just won your dream house. Describe your favorite room and tell me why it's your favorite.
1. That's a tough one. Considering I don't buy groceries much anymore, I could hand out: a partially cut lemon (perhaps they'd like to see how I make lemon twists), frozen tilapia filets, half eaten food from culinary school and green olives. If they're lucky, I've just made something yummy in baking class (since it's Toosdae) and they can reap the benifits....
2. Either: Notting Hill because I loved England when I was there and it seems utterly charming with the street markets (in the movie) and I could sit and listen to their accents forever (or 2 hours) ...or You've Got Mail because that's the kind of Manhattan I'd love to live in, I love books and book stores, and her apartment is way cool. I'd write myself in as her friend.
3. The kitchen is my favorite room, naturally. It is warm and inviting and has an earth toned tile floor, toffee colored flat panel floor to ceiling cabinest on one wall with a built in cabinet depth fridge (with the freezer on the bottom). It is stainless steel. The counters are a moss green, and the walls are a warm creme brulee color. I have a deep 2 basin ceramic sink with a tall faucet, as well as a vegetable sink in the island. There is a large archway that looks into the family room, so that when I am cooking, I can talk to the people I love. The windows are large and open, and overlook a wooded backyard. Sound familiar to anyone?
Monday, September 25, 2006
“Time heals all wounds”
As most of you can guess, I am not content with this answer, and so I am trying less traditional ways to turn off my the romantic feelings I have in my heart so that I can simply love Mr. CM as a friend. These include:
A. Magic Potion #4
Massive amounts of Red Wine and Tequila. This solution does not work because:
1. I am not a big drinker, and do not enjoy drinking alone
2. I am poor and Magic Potion #4 is expensive. Generic formulas just do not do in this case
3. Side affects include: vomiting, headache, depression, bleeding from the eyes, and complete bodily hairloss. The last 2 only occur when generic formulas are consumed.
4. My corkscrew is broken. And I’m talking literally, not figuratively.
B. Thinking of Him Pooping
A friend of mine had a mother who once told us to visualize your love interest pooping in order to rid yourself of love. It never worked for me, mainly because:
1. I know everyone poops
2. Visuals do not include smells
3. I was comfortable enough with Mr. CM that pooping occurred while we were together.
C. Making Up Silly Things When I Think of His Name
Whenever I have feelings for someone, I say their name in my head several times a day when I think about them. This infuriates me because until they are “out of my system”, I cannot stop. I’ve started saying things such as:
1. Mr. CM…is a fart face
2. Mr. CM…smells like a monkey
3. Mr. CM…blows chunks
However, this tactic does not work either because:
1. Mr. CM is not a fart face
2. Mr. CM does not smell like a monkey
3. Mr. CM doesn’t often blow chunks
4. He’s not even a jerk
5. It makes me giggle
It’s now become a game in my head to come up with sillier things to keep myself amused during the day, therefore reversing the “stop thinking about this person” effect.
I suppose my home remedies aren’t so good, and that I should just be patient with myself and the universe and let time heal my wounds.
Because Mr. CM does not bite the big bologna pony.