Thursday, September 07, 2006


Crop circles, where are we?
Lying in the sand.
Stepping stones and broken bones
A cut upon my hand.

I have no idea what that means. I just sat down at my computer, and literally that's what came out. Weird.

Could be the lack of sleep. Or the Tylenol PM I just took.

All day today, I thought it was 2007. When I was researching things for my boss that were date sensitive, I kept getting confused by the dates. Talk about time flying.

And speaking of shrink redeemed himself a bit this week. Though his eyes rolled the sleepy-time roll, he did it while HE was talking. It just must be what he does. Also, I sat down and said, "I don't feel like talking today" but sure enough, he got me talking. AND at the end he said, "I'm here to make your life easier, so I won't be collecting a co-pay for our visits until you're in a better financial place.

Gotta love a nice guy. He could easily collect my $15 every 2 weeks, but he chose not to. I'm impressed and I've never been in a situation before where a professional doctor waves an ongoing fee. To make my life better.

I feel like I want to write. Write a really good post like the days of old-the ones where people proclaimed me a writer and said that my words touched them, or inspired them. That's a good sign, right? That the want is there...

Lastnight after 3 hours of laying in bed awake but dead tired, I got up to get a glass of wine. It was too late to take Tylenol PM but sleep just wasn't coming. I walked into my kitchen, poured a half of a glass and spilled it all over the counter. After cleaning it up, I picked up the bottle and spilled the rest.

I was so angry and tired I left it there, on the counter, cork on the floor, ugly weird bottle in the garbage, wishing it would have smashed when I put it it in the trash.

Hope is on the horizon. I can't feel it. It's welling up, getting ready to sing the Hallelujah Chorus.

We used to sing, as a tradition, the Hallelujah Chorus in high school. Until my chorus teacher retired and the new one came in. I hated her, but loved that she eliminated the MOST boring alto song in the world.

Also, all of these years in my head I sing,

"The Lord God OMNIIIII po-tent reigneth."

Because that's the way the alto part was sung. I never put 2 and 2 together that it was omnipotent. Weird. I guess that's what happens when you learn a song by sound and not music....

Waiting for the door to crack
a little bit wider now.
My foots asleep from putting it in
I'm searching for somehow.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

18 Things

I recently purchased some Reese's Puffs cereal. While pouring myself a bowl of chocolatey goodness, I spotted a semi-interesting list on the back of the box. "18 things to do before you're 18"

1. Ride the world's biggest rollercoaster.
I don't know about the biggest, but I've ridden some pretty big and mean rollercoasters. I don't let go though...I'm not that brave!

2. Bungee jump!
Done it! Loved it. Don't think I'd do it again...well...maybe.

3. Score the winning goal/basket.
I may have scored the winning run in softball or the winning hit in volleyball, but I don't remember.

4. Win an award, trophy or prize
Yup. One for Outstanding Guest Service at WDW and one for my Desire and Dedication in softball. Oh, and one for "Inspirational Employee" at my old job.

5. Learn to play an instrument
Flute and piccolo.

6. Go backstage at a gig
I've been backstage in plays that I've been in...does that count? No...then nope, I'm a loser.

7. Meet your idol
I don't think I have an idol. Should I get one?

8. Play a part in your favorite tv show
That would be fun. I could be a new character on "The Office". I think I'd be friends with Oscar and Jim.

9. Meet someone with your own name
Too easy!

10. Make a discovery
I discovered that life is never what you think it will be, and the things you want the most are the hardest to achieve.

11. Get away with the perfect practical joke
Usually, the jokes are on me. Though I hear putting Jello in a toilet bowl would be a good practical joke.

12. Own a pointless collection
I don't collect much now, but I used to collect theatrical masks. Those are pretty pointless.

13. Invent a word that makes it into the dictionary
Is "Randomivity" in the dictionary yet??

14. Conquer your biggest fear
Oh...I dunno about this one. My biggest fear would involve other people of whom I do not control.

15. Raise money for charity
Done it: United Way, Give Kids the World, Red Cross and now here: Donate if you haven't yet and cross this one off of your list!

16. Pass your driving test the first time
Yup. Did that too.

17. Complete a road trip coast to coast
Not coast to coast. I did go to another country-Canada, and also from CT to Florida MANY times.

18. Reach 18 years of age all KNOW I've gotten this far!!

Where do you rank on the list?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Toosdae ?'s

Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed your Labor Day, and for those of you outside the USA, I hope you enjoyed your Monday. Here are today's Toosdae ?'s. Please answer them, as you know they make me smile...

1. Which is worse: Waving at someone you think you know and realizing that it's the wrong person -OR- waving to someone who was waving to the person behind you.

2. What is the Energizer Bunnies real name?

3. If you had your own factory, what would you make?

1. I think it's worse waving back to someone who was waving to the person behind you. You look like a fool, and there's no way of recovering. At least when you wave to a stranger, you're being nice. It reminds me of a joke where a man is in the stall at the airport bathroom and he hears the man next to him ask, "Hi, how are you?" and so he answers skeptically. After several minutes of answering questions, the man who is asking the questions says, "I'll call you back, some jackass next to me keeps answering the questions I'm asking you."

2. Eduardo Aloisius Bunny. He's got inner conflict about his opposing roots and that's why he's addicted to the chaos and why he keeps, going, and going....

3. I'd make candy. Fun, colorful candy that was transported through spiral see through tubes throughout the factory and dropped into different locations in the store. Kids would love it.

Sunday, September 03, 2006


Mise en place
Rye Bread making pasta with me Scampi Prima Vera
I can't make crab cakes. Help! Any secrets to keeping them together? I formed them and molded them wonderfully, got them in the pan without incident and when I flipped them, they fell apart.
I need ideas. I'm trying to partially freeze 2 now to see if that works.

Kitchen Confidential: Day 2

Today was a long, LONG day. My feet are killing me, I'm exhausted, but also not tired.

I love touching food that is going to be served in a restaraunt. Even though I'm only in the prep kitchen right now (though I was up front a little tonight doing prep etc) I'm cutting chicken people are going to eat-I'm making biscotti and cheesecake. It's amazing. I really don't know how I've held this passion in for so long. I've never felt more comfortable doing something in my entire life.

Although, I have to get used to standing all day again. Not since the hotel when I worked out front has that been the case. And my clogs that I loved so much-I hate them. I MUST buy new shoes before my next shift.

I cut myself today. Pretty bad. It would not stop bleeding and they made me sit down, even though I felt fine. Chef even came in the back to be sure I didn't need stitches. I don't. I knew that. Everyone came over to me, asked me if I needed kisses and hugs and made sure I was ok.

It was actually a bonding moment between me and the head guy in the back b/c he's really a smart ass and I said "Fuck you" to him jokingly and then teased him about being short. Weird, I know, but it helped.

He said that I was valuable b/c all of the work I did, he would have had to do and me being there helped a lot. That made me feel good.

Also, everyone seems to really like me. They all think I am very nice-hee hee hee-I've got them right where I want them!! ;) Just kidding.

Anyway. It's 2:30am. I'm very tired and am ready to drop. I'll try to tell more stories tomorrow if I ever wake up. ;)

Cooking run through tomorrow night with C-Unit and Rye Bread. Can't wait.

Also, My little Flipper is off to college-actually in 4 hours!! GOOD LUCK BABE! I KNOW you will be fine. I'm very proud of you and love you!

Knock 'em dead kid. And be sure to avoid the chuzzle.