Friday, June 09, 2006


I can tell you right now, this post is going to be all over the place. I have a lot of things running through my head and not all of them mesh with each other.

Good thing I like "randomivity".

Why is it that the people who slack off are always the ones who get carried? And why is it when you do a good job, people start to dislike you, even if you are respectful toward them, and always friendly?

Why are the rules bent for some people but not others? Slackers should not be allowed to slack. Weeding out the weak or un-passionate is a frustrating process.

Why is it I care? Why do I care so much about being liked? Being respected to me also means that people like being around me, and if being respected in industry (culinary) means I have to be a bitch all of the time...I'll do it, but I won't like it.

And why should it mean that? In my business it's going to mean being happy and smiley when you can be, but stepping up to the plate when need be. Like at Disney. When a guest walks up to you, no matter what you are talking about with another cast member-you stop mid-word if you have to in order to cater to their needs. I won't employ people who do not feel the same way.

The chef I'm doing my term paper on is pretty well known. I'll talk more about her another time, but I'm totally impressed with her romance with life and her love of food, Paris, and her husband. She's very passionate and I can only dream to have a life like hers one day.

For some reason I was thinking about the 13 attributes of Adult Children of Alcoholics and am happy to honestly say that I identify with less of them today than I did even a year ago. I've tried very hard to change who I was and to be the girl I knew I could be, and I think I've come very close. There is still a lot of work to do, particularly on these:

"4" Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy

"9" Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation. This has diminished a TON, but inside my head and I still wish people would give me affirmation more. But I've learned to know that I do not need it in most cases.

"12" Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved. I've been known to stay loyal to a BOAT LOAD of people who didn't deserve it. This is slowly changing, but I still feel like saying, "Why is this a bad thing?"

The ironic thing is, that on the way home from school I thought,

"Man, I really want to get drunk."

I walked by Dooley Butt's office the other day just in time to hear him rip the biggest fart I've ever heard in a public place. Shut the door, dude...shut. the. door.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Timing is Everything (Or So They Say)

Timing is everything
or so they say,
I sit and I wonder about "back in the day"

Is timing all it's cracked up to be?
Or are our lives ruled by

Can I put a brand on somebody's life?
And can I make them happy;
help overcome strife?

Do we control what becomes of us
or are we maneuvered by that
sacred trust?

Are ages appropriate when
our inner child lives?
Or are we governed by what
society gives?

Is it absurd to dream the impossible dream?
Or to hope that one will come true?
Or should I simply go on with my life
hoping you'll walk in my shoes?

Timing is everything
or so they say.
It's hard to determine
when's the right day...

By Mags

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

It Takes A Toll

I'd like to say I'm sorry for these last few months, making my blog sort of lame.

I know it to be true, because before I started school I had about 40 people come by everyday, regularly, (in addition to the random people) and now I only have about 12. What happened? I don't know. But unfortunately I don't have the energy to work harder to get it back up there. For now, I'm happy with my real life family and friends, and my most loyal blog friends stopping by.

I'm so very tired these days. By mid-week it's physical, from hustling in the kitchen until 10:30-11:00 at night after working and then coming home and being wired, not able to sleep, and getting caught up in a book or a good conversation. By weeks end, it's mental too-trying to keep up with the reputation I've built for myself in just 7 weeks as one of the hardest workers and best students. It takes a toll.

I got an 80 on a quiz last week and was nervous people would see it. An 80 isn't a bad grade, but they expect I should get above 90. "They" being my classmates, the ones who I compete with, as well as the ones I don't bother to. Truth is, I expect to get above a 90 too.

Our class is 10 people, and of this group, our chef confided in us (by us I mean the 4 of us in the "top" of the class, the ones who always hustle, who plate our food first, take less breaks and always know the answers) that 4 will make it, maybe 5. It could be very easy to fall out of my little group...1 chapter skipped, 1 homework assignment missed...

Tiring. But a good tired. I'm not complaining, I'm still in love with culinary school, and still love, love, love what I am learning.

It's just taking a toll, and I'm saying I'm sorry...for the lack of actual writing and stories, and more of a boring, "This is what I do during my life" blog.

I hope you'll stick with me along the way.

PS. To add to the boring "this is what I do during my day" blog: We finally got our knife bags last night!!!! No more carrying our expensive and terribly sharp knives in a thin duffel bag!! PSYCHED!!!! (I actually skipped down the hallway back to class-yes, really)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Toosdae ?'s

1. Would you rather find out as an adult that your parents kidnapped you when you were a baby and raised you as their own or that you had a twin that died at birth and they never told you?

2. You find out that a co-worker you consider a close friend is stealing money from work. You know that if you tell your boss, your friend will be fired, but your boss confronts you, saying that you are the suspected thief. Would you tell on your friend?

3. Assuming age was not a factor, would you audition for a reality show? If yes, which one, if no, how come?

1. Even though it involves someone dying, I would choose the twin option. Finding out as an adult that my parents committed a crime which caused another family pain and deprived me of a life with my real family would devastate me. I suppose if, after researching my real parents, I found out that they were bad people and my fake parents took me to save me, I'd be less upset, but either way, it'd be creepy and sad, and it would take me a while to get over.

2. No. I would not tell on my friend. I would ask my employer why they thought it was me, and ask for evidence. Because I would be innocent, it would ultimately be found out, and my job would be saved. If, however, I found out that my friend told them I was stealing b/c she was accused, then I'd sell her ass out faster than anything. Besides, jobs come and go, but true friends who you sincerely love and click with are hard to come by.

3. Yes. I would have loved to go on The Real World and perhaps The Amazing Race. Survivor would be ok if those freakin snakes weren't around and I could bring lotion and chapstick. And I guess I should put up here some of those crazy cooking shows-maybe the one on the Food Network that finds the next celebrity Chef. I'd love to be on TV and cooking-heck, having a production crew clean up after me? That would be sweet.

Monday, June 05, 2006

I Didn't Start the Fire

Sing with me!

I didn't start the fire!
It was always burnin'
Since the world was turnin'

I didn't start the fire!
No I didn't light it
But I tried to fight it

Ok. I am lying.

I started a pan fire!
My pan was too hot
and I scorched a big pot

I started a pan fire!
My chef didn't like it
But he tried to hide it

Yup. The first sign of flamage, and it was all me.


Growing Pains & Gray Clouds

I never thought that growing pains could mean learning how to pay bills creatively, or figuring out how to afford much needed updates or repairs your house.

Or waking up one day with a gray cloud over your head for no reason.

Everyone told me that "these are the best years of your life" but no one told me how to make these the best years of my life. Or how to prove those "everyones" wrong.

No one told me that maybe my life wouldn't be the way I envisioned it would be and no one told me what to do after I realized it.

I suppose I wouldn't have listened anyway.

But I think maybe it would be comforting to remember that advice now.

Then again, I suppose that everyone I know is living a life they didn't exactly envision, and everyone has a gray cloud that follows them every now and then.

And I suppose I'm lucky enough to be on the happier side of life most of the time, and that while no one told me my life might be perfect, they never told me I couldn't have the life I wanted.

And I suppose that counts for a lot more than I give everyone credit for.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

As Requested...

As promised, here are some tested recipes from culinary school-enjoy!

Chicken Saute with Onions, Garlic & Basil

Chicken Breast, boneless & skinless 3
Salt & Pepper To taste
Clarified Butter* 1 fl oz.
Onion, small dice 2 oz
Garlic, chopped 6 cloves
Dry white wine 4 fl oz
Lemon Juice 1 oz
Tomato concasse** 6 oz
Chicken Stock 4 fl oz
Fresh Basil, chiffonade*** 6

Season chicken w/ salt & pepper; dredge in flour, shaking off the excess

  • Saute chicken in butter til golden. Remove from pan, hold in warm oven
  • Add onions & garlic with a little butter in the same pan. Saute until translucent.
  • Deglaze pan with wine and lemon juice. Make sure to loosen all fond (brown bits from cooking chicken)
  • Add tomato concasse & stock. Saute to combine flavors & reduce.
  • Return chicken to pan
  • Add basil. Adjust seasoning if necessary

Classic Rice Pilaf

Butter 1 oz

Olive Oil 1 fl oz

Onions, fine dice 3 oz

Bay leaf 1

Long grain rice 1 pint

Chicken Stock, boiling 1 quart

Salt To taste

  • Heat butter & oil. Saute onion & bay leaf
  • Add rice & coat; do NOT brown
  • Pour in boiling stock & season
  • Cover pot & place in 350 oven. Bake until liquid is absorbed, about 18 minutes
  • Remove bay leaf prior to service

We served this with zucchini sauteed in a little olive oil, s&p and garlic. YUMMY!

*If you do not know how to clarify butter or simply don't want to, normal butter will do.

**To concasse a tomato, simply put an "X" in the bottom of each tomato and drop it into just boiling water until you see the skin loosen. Take out of hot water and immediately shock in icy water. Peel and dice tomatoes, removing seeds.

***Chiffonade means to roll the leaves like a cigar (all at once is ok) and cut the tip in order to make long thin strips of the leaves. (Shreds if you will)

Weekend by Numbers

2 hours early I left work on Friday
1 spicy tuna roll consumed for dinner in the car
2.5 hours it took to have my hair did
1 cup of wine
1 time I declared my colorist the best hair washer EVER
1 time she told me she loved my hair
1 cute boy in a backwards baseball hat
1 time I was told my eyebrows looked different
0 times they were ;)
18 fun songs gifted to me
0 pairs of shoes bought at shoe heaven
10-the size of my shoe, which is why I didn't buy any
1 movie in the movie theater
5 pieces of Laffy Taffy
1 billion raindrops on my weekend
2 pieces of banana cream pie
2 pickles
1 Reuben
1 time I was so stuffed I couldn't breath
8 hours I was sad for no reason and couldn't shake it
1 hour Mr. CM tried everything he could to make me smile
0 times I wanted to and felt bad about it
5 chapters read for school
.5 hours I fell asleep while studying
2 recipe's copied
3 more days I'd like off from the world
2 days until GNO!