Saturday, January 21, 2006
Yeah, I know how to apply and wear makeup.
Yes, I match. And no, I don't own crazy duck pants or wear halter tops to church. And I do own a few pairs of pointy shoes-and know that they elongate the leg.
But people-and this is where you should pay attention-I want to meet Clinton. In fact, I want my OWN Clinton.
And I'm willing to work hard for it. I will purposely dress crazy for months if someone would nominate me. I can even act surprised when they spring the whole, "You're on What Not To Wear" thing on me. Really. Unless you squeal about this blog entry-they'd be none the wiser.
I know, I know. Why would I want to be ripped apart on TV and have all of my clothes thrown away? I'll admit it, it's not the most appealing part of being on that show. Clinton DOES crack me up though, and I'm pretty sure I'd just be giggling like a school girl the whole time.
And though I think he's gay, I'm totally in love with him. He's one big geek all dressed up to look like a non-geek. Those are the best kind. 'Course, the whole, "I'm a big gay man" thing really puts a kink in my plan of getting him to move in with me forever and ever.
But do you know how many shoes $5K can buy? And lovely fitted jackets and flippy skirts and...did I mention the shoes? Right.
So, can ya help a sister out?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Psalm 57 appeared tonight, with a very specific link to my question. It was actually spelled out. And color coded. And I'm not being silly.
God's plans will come to pass...
And I am constantly amazed, and constantly humbled. And constantly grateful.
Thank you for the reminder, and for using the KISS version...that in itself was wonderful advice.
House Broken: Part 13 happened to be a sex scene, and in light of my behavior the other day, I am opting not to post it. 8-) Therefore, I will be editing what I have left of the original story and writing more. Hopefully later tonight...sorry to disappoint. (But really, how can you be mad at me when I post a pic of my niece?)
In the meantime, go visit Greg and answer his questions. I know how it feels to have only a few people comment, and so let's try to help him out today... you know you wanna...go ahead, he won't bite.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
So there I was, shopping away in a well known department store... shoes, sweaters and funky skirts alike dazzling me with every turn.
I saw a mannequin. And she was naked. And. She had nipples.
And without even thinking about it, as I walked by her, my hand went up and touched one.
And. People saw me. (!)
First of all-when did mannequins acquire nipples? I mean, they don't even have heads for goodness sake, and most of the time...sans appendages. Clearly, these are man made-and by this I do not mean human made-I mean testosterone dripping, nipple making, man made.
Nipples on a mannequin. Craziness.
And to my defense-I touch EVERYTHING. I love texture.
I once made a buzzer go off in the metropolitan museum of Art in NYC because my hand got too close to an exhibit.
Every time I leave the movie theater my hand drags across the corduroy-like walls.
And buttons of every kind are no match for these fingers.
So seeing the eraser sized bumps on a headless stump was pretty inviting. The plastic was smooth and clean, and-who wouldn't want to touch it?
(I'm pretty much the only one, huh? Oh man, that's what I thought.)
When I realized what I did, I almost peed myself laughing. My whole body was shaking with laughter and my eyes were tearing. I went into the dressing room (b/c it was the closest exit away from the couple who saw me do it) and cracked up. I sounded kind of like Donald Duck because I was trying to hold it in. Luckily, I was finally able to gain composure and even managed to buy a pair of pants.
...I totally blame the porn. Looks like this good girl's ready to get down with the gangsta's.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
2. Have you ever had a legitimate crush on someone of the same sex. (Or opposite sex if you are gay)
3. Did you ever have a lunchbox in elementary school? What was on it?
1. Ok. So I don't really expect any of you to answer this. But it made me giggle for about 5 minutes and so I had to include it. I mean, C'MON! Can you image having to explain either?!?!? That being said, I think I'd pick the nipple one. At least with that one you can just say you had on a weird bra or some sort of costume...no animals involved! (Though...whipped cream is yummy)
2. The short answer is no. I haven't ever had a crush on or been sexually attracted to a woman. The long answer is that there are women out there that I see and think, "If I were gay, I'd totally go for her." and also there have been amazing women I've wanted to spend more time with because they were dynamic, intelligent people and wanted to learn from them.
3. I did have a lunchbox, several in fact. My favorite one though was a Strawberry Shortcake one. The thermos leaked because the latch on the lunchbox always came open and the thermos would fall out. So...sadly, it was retired. I think the next one had unicorns or something...
Monday, January 16, 2006
I’ve been grappling with something for about a week now. During a discussion about this decision, a friend of mine suggested that I not be afraid to ask for specific signs from God.
I’ve always been afraid of asking for specifics. I feel like that sort of goes against the whole “I gave you free will” thing, because if I had a sign from God that said, “Buy whole milk”, bet your butt I’d switch to whole milk.
But my friend, in all of his wisdom said, “Don’t be afraid of asking for specific signs.”
And so I did. On top of praying for my family and friends, and for other various things, I asked God for a specific sign to help me decide what I should (or should not) do.
And, to the best of my knowledge, I have not seen it. Now, I would think that asking for a specific sign would produce a specific sign. So over the past few days, I’ve been seeing what I would normally read as signs and thinking, “That can’t possibly be it” or “Hmmm…that COULD be it.”
Basically it’s driving me nuts.
Now, I know that there are signs everywhere. And I know that being a human and all, it limits my knowledge of knowing for sure what God would say is specific. But I consider myself very open to this type of thing and so it’s frustrating to me that I am still without a sign.
(As an aside-I really hate it when people say “fustrating”. It has an “r” in it people. Use it.)
So. My dilemma continues. However, I have once again realized that no sign is indeed a sign that I have to remain patient with myself and wait.
Good things come to those who wait, right? So God, I’m ready. Bring on the signage-when you are ready.
Thanks a bunch.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
I'm not cool enough to be one of those bloggers who spreads the word on new music, but I can tell you that I've been listening to this song all night. It's fantastic-it's the ITunes Original version, which I think is better than the other one.
I highly recommend that you download it and listen to it 150 times.
One of the most fantastic feelings is being told that someone missed you.
I'd remember the last name, "Zinglinger". If I say that I did not play softball with someone named, "Zinglinger" please believe me. And also-please don't say, "Yes you did-Zinglinger....Zinglinger...you know, Zinglinger" because saying the wrong last name over and over, contrary to popular belief, will NOT help me remember who you are really talking about.
All jokes aside, little girls have the cutest little butts in the world. C-Unit and Flipper-hold your comments.
I do not watch Desperate Housewives. No. I don't. I still do not. Nope. I know, you think I do. But I do not.
$50 can go a long way at the Christmas Tree Shops. Yes, I DO just love a bargain.
Painting is a pain in the ass. But the results are very gratifying.
Mothers never seem to let you truly grow up. This was fully realized when, within 10 minutes, I was told: (1) That I should not leave my gloves in the car because my hands will be cold, (2) That I should really send a sympathy card and (3) That I should wipe my feet on the mat OUTSIDE the house.
Quirky families are fun. Unless you feel a head cold coming. Then you just want to stab them. (Don't get offended-there was a big knife next to me the whole time and did I go for it? No.)
Naps are wonderful. The are (1) better when taken with someone else though and (2) not wonderful when you wake up thinking a stranger is in your house.
People look at you funny when you metion you want to cut the legs off of a table. I don't know why though-it would look much better. (Anyone got a saw?)
It makes me proud when I notice and appreciate my creativity.
It's official, my town is the worst at plowing.
It's official, I still hate hearing New Englanders complain about snow. Perhaps someone forgot to tell them-that's what it does here. Embrace it. Become one with the precipitation. Own it. Work it. PLAY IN IT!
I remember, and it makes me smile.
If you take it, let me know how close it is 2 U!
Your #1 Match: INFJ
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.
Your #2 Match: INFP
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.
Your #3 Match: ENFJ
You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.
Your #4 Match: INTJ
You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.
You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.
Your #5 Match: ISFJ
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.