"I am a WOMAN, honey, I ain't no GIRL."
There was no laughter in her voice and her head gyrated as she annunciated. It was as if I personally attacked her vagina by calling her a girl.
We were talking about dating. Specifically, first dates, and whether or not men should pay for them.
I said yes.
Everyone else said no.
In my opinion, unless it's talked about or implied that the man does not have any money, then the man should pay for the first date. I think it shows that he has at least a little bit of tradition in him, and that he is a gentleman.
I was called old fashioned.
And when I spoke of the possibility of "Love at first sight" and "Destiny", they balked.
"I've gotta stay away from that shit." One male classmate said, as he laughed his hearty laugh.
"No kidding, dude. That's never happened to me." They bantered back and forth.
That's when she chimed in agreeing with the two men in regard to bill paying and the possibility of true love.
"C'mon! Are you not a girl?" I laughed, teasing her as I often do.
See above for her response.
People always chastise me for calling men, "boys". I suppose it is a little silly, being that I am 30 years old, and that all of the men I date are at least my age or older. I don't even know why I started it or when. But upon thinking about it more, I like that I refer to dateable men as boys.
Why?
Because it refers to a time when love was simple. When all love meant was that you wanted to spend time with the other person, that they gave you a funny feeling in your stomach when they brushed your hand, and when they kissed you, they made your knees weak. And, as a girl, you giggled and you blushed, and you felt pretty just because he smiled at you.
And ultimately, every woman is just a girl, asking a boy to love her.
Monday, October 09, 2006
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13 comments:
Sounds like they're all cynical and jaded.
Tell them that you're not old fashioned, you just have a healthy respect for the differences between men and women.
I believe in love at first sight. :)
Owl.
Thanks, Owl. I don't even really think it's a difference between men and women (the women didn't even agree with me!! And one of them is older) I think it's just people being overly PC and I hate that.
I can pay for a first date. But that is not how it's supposed to be. Neither is "splitting it". That is what friends do. Megan and I "split it" when we go out. That's not a date...
You seem over occupied in the financial aspect of your relations.
You would not want to be confused with a working girl now would you....
Anyway I'm willing to pay for an 'All you can eat buffet' and hell I'll even fork out for some Brazillian Champagne if you are 'Putting Out' for meals.
No Offence Meant
Lucien
Lucien,
I guess what I'd like to say to you is: read the blog and get to know me before you suggest that I'm too occupied with financial aspects of dating. And wanting a man to pay for the first date has nothing to do with being a hooker. He's buying food, not sex. It has to do with traditions. And perhaps a little romance.
And, just an FYI, anytime you have to say, "No Offence Meant" usually means you said something offensive.
Mags, I agree with you. Men should be the ones to pay for the first date. I'm all about tradition and things being like they used to be. I think some of the downfall of our society is a result of people losing sight of traditions.
My fiance paid for all of our dates until we were probably at the 3 month mark and then we took turns, and look where we are today. He even opens doors for me. It's all about being a gentleman! And there aren't many left.
Sadly, I think you're right. There are people who "claim" they are gentlemen, but when it gets right down to it, they are not.
And let me say, paying for the first date doesn't automatically make them a gentleman either.
Oh hell. I don't want to debate. I just think they should pay for the first date.
Mags,
There are still gentlemen out there. I know I certainly still believe in the Man should pay for dates (at least until there is a discussion about it which rarely comes early in a relationship). I also try my hardest to keep alive the spirit of chivalry including opening doors (Not just for women I like, but for anyone who needs it). I am sure I have more work to do, but I try.
Fear not, there are still Gentlemen out there who believe in tradition, and most of them are looking hard for Ladies that appreciate and hope for those traditions!
Nicely put Hepcat.
>80)
I sure hope so Hepcat!
While I love the shout out to Notting Hill, I think referencing a woman as a girl can be taken as demeaning -- especially to those who were part of the women's movement. It's not just about being PC, but rather respecting the sweat and tears behind your ability to, in this day and age, joke about a 30-year-old being a girl. In terms of calling men "boys," think of it this way: calling someone a boy does not have a negative connotation, calling someone a girl can be an insult. Think Arnold and the "girlie men" fiasco.
Well...I like I said, I don't want to start fights. And I don't call women girls or men boys to offend.
I simply want to find a boy who will love this girl in simple terms. Someone who will tease me by "pulling my ponytail" but kiss my scraps when I'm crying. And who will walk me home and protect me from bullies.
A boy and a girl. In love.
Also, I think that people tend to forget the boy or girl inside. There's nothing wrong with that.
I identify with the little girl inside of me, and it brings me joy when I see it in someone else.
We (myself and people I talk to) tend to call men boys in certain circumstances as well.
I still think it's funny when people call me a "lady" and I still haven't gotten used to calling myself a woman. Girl is okay.
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