Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Socks for Supper

Here's the break down of my breakdown:

  • Told by father, "I'll pay for culinary school!"
  • Believed for the first time in a long time that my dream might come true. I even told people I was going.
  • Met with admissions instructor. Somehow charmed him into not testing me and to simply enroll me for next month's classes.
  • Enrolled for classes. Paid $50 fee.
  • Was told 14 times in a 1/2 hour meeting, "It's REALLY, very, VERY nice to meet you."
  • Had my heart stop and break all at once when I saw the increase in tuition when meeting with financial aid.
  • Kept my cool in the office, pretending it was "No sweat".
  • Called my father on the verge of tears because I knew that he could not afford the new price.
  • Hung up with my father as I entered the office and proceeded to break down in the front door.
  • Bawled for the rest of the day on and off, but mostly on.
  • Woke up even though I didn't want to today.
  • Spent the majority of my day trying to refinance, reconsolidate, searching for grants or scholarships.
  • Applied for a home equity loan.
  • Praying. Begging. Praying. Begging.
  • Holding on the the last drop of hope I have that my dream won't slip away once again.

Pray, beg, pray...I won't know for 3 days. My credit isn't great, I have a mortgage, a car payment, a LARGE student loan, credit card bills, medical bills, and a crappy salary...it's not looking good.

But you know me, I can't give up without a fight....not when I'm this close.

Pray, beg...pray...

6 comments:

C-Unit said...

Oh Mags,

If I could I would pay the difference. If not at this moment you will live out your dream sooner or later. I promise!

Hamel said...

Oh, man, do I wish I could help, Mags. But I am praying for you.

OrioleGal9 said...

It will work out Mags! I have my fingers crossed for you. You're a great cook/chef and I can see you being the next Rachael Ray or Paula Deen!!!

Trust me, I know all too well about trying to figure out a big ticket item...I have no idea how we are going to afford a wedding, hence why no plans have been started...eloping is looking good right now!

Mags said...

Thanks everyone-and everyone who didn't respond but has talked to me in real life too.

It means a lot to have such a strong support system, and people who make me laugh even when I want to cry, people who constantly remind me that my life is still good, and most of all, people who believe in me and my dreams.

One who listens said...

If didn't have huge money woes at the moment Mags, I'd post you a cheque for the whole amount.

Hope everything goes ok for you,

Owl. :)

Mags said...

Thank you Owl...