Monday, February 20, 2006

Sao Whaaa?

It's not a secret. I've talked about it before...I've offered to do it to others...I do it to myself almost everyday. Sometimes, it's all I think about.

Sometimes...I can't stop.

I like to pluck hair. I like to wax hair. I like the smooth feeling I have when all of the hair is gone.

It's an addiction, I know. A strange, disgusting addiction brought on by my heritage and my light skin.

I've plucked and waxed hair from almost every part of the body in which grows. Yeah.

But I can, without a doubt, tell you, my dear readers:

I will never have a full "Brazilian".

I am speaking from experience and am here to tell you-it effing hurts.

Those women who tell you that "It's not that bad" are lunatics. My guess is that these women are the very same women who like to be seriously hurt during sex.

Because it's not just a little tingle, a quick pull or a small tear.

It's a full on war against your hooha...

And it's not pretty.

Sure, the benefits are great-you're smooth and clean and I'm sure your man will like it. But I simply cannot comprehend even letting him near it if he doesn't care about how much PAIN you went through to get it smooth.

If he insists-why not suggest he try doing the same. I'm fairly certain once he understands exactly where the wax goes, he'll shut up about it.

Yeesh. I just had a flashback. I've got to go curl up into the fetal position and meditate for a while....


Leslie said...

I had to curl up in the fetal position just reading this. Kinda makes it hard to read too cause the words are all sideways and stuff.

toby said...

Umm...too much info for a guy like me.

kristarella said...

Yeh, I've never done it, I have thought about it for a fleeting moment and decided against it. If I don't do it, he won't know the difference!

Mags said...

Leslie: I know, I know...I had to write it though-to prevent further hurt to innocent women.

Toby: You're reaction is my proof!

Krista: Exactly!!!

(Thanks for voting by the way Krista!)

Rachel said...

I thought about getting that done once...reading this made me decide wholeheartedly against it. Thank you for saving me

Mags said...

Rachel-if I saved just 1-I'd be happy. Glad it could be you!

Segue said...

Shave it with a razor. Shave WITH the grain to prevent razor-burn.

If that's too scary, shave it with a beard-trimmer.

I guess perfectly baby-smooth is great, but I think the point is really to get rid of the shrubbery, not to fool your lover into thinking you haven't hit puberty yet.

Just a thought.

Mags said...

Yeah, apparently baby smooth is the way to go, according to my porn book. ;)

But trimming and keeping it neat is good'll have to be, cause I'm never trying that again!!!

(Thanks for stopping by here!!0