Thursday, February 23, 2006

House Broken: Part 17

Today, the warm Florida sun shining through the window brought dread. They brought an emptiness and a sorrow that she’d never felt before.

Today was the day she was leaving.

Her sadness was for her new self-a person she always wanted to be, but was never allowed to introduce to the world. She mourned for her new friends, her smile that she knew would fade and for the man she knew she wanted to marry. She mourned because she was not certain her parents would let her come back.

This life made her grow, it made her think, and it expanded her spirit in ways that she could never imagine. For the first time in her life, she felt as though she belonged-and now she had to leave.

Her heart crumbled at the sound of the alarm clock.

“It’s time baby.” He nuzzled his face in her neck and breathed deeply. He felt the dread too.

“I know. I just want to lay here for a minute. I just….it’s…I’m scared.” She cried softly into her pillow as he tightened his arms around her.

“We’ll be ok. We’ll make it work. That’s what you always say, right? You have to believe it if you say it. You have to…” Though he was trying to comfort her, his tone was pleading-begging her to tell him she still had faith.

“I do. I’m just sad. I’m going to miss this place so much. I don’t want to go back-I like who I am here and I like making people smile…and I like you.” She rolled over so they were face to face and kissed his button nose.

“I love you.” She cried.

“I love you too.”


Because they knew the goodbye would be more emotional than either of them could imagine, they planned to part ways from the hotel. She knew the way to the train station and her car was already packed. They walked to the parking lot hand in hand, tears streaming down their faces.

When they reached her car, they stopped and turned to each other, their eyes searching, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do. They were simply lost in their despair.

“This is it. It’s time.” He took her hand again and pressed it into his cheek.

Choking back her sobs, she leaned in and kissed his soft, wet lips goodbye, not knowing if they would ever share a kiss again.

She wanted to freeze time and suspend their bodies forever with their lips touching so that the sweet promise of “forever” would always be near.

After one last look and a long hug, she turned and got into her car. Her stomach turned, her head pounded, and her heart-broke.

The life that she created and the love that they shared, was no longer in her reach. As she exited the property she looked in her rearview mirror and vowed to always hold a piece of the kingdom in her heart.


OrioleGal9 said...

Another very well written passage! The more I read, the more I feel like I was such a horrible friend over that time in your life. We definitely didn't keep in touch as much as we should have.

We were so much better while you were still in FL.

Remember our monthly (or were they weekly) dinners out to keep in touch? I miss those days

Mags said...

T-don't blame yourself. That time in my life was so hard-I kept to myself when I should have reached out...

And yes, I remember out dinners-how could I forget?!? I miss them too...we're on our way to keeping in touch again though.


kristarella said...

Hmm, so I assumed that if this is autobiographical then you probably weren't the married one, because I don't know that you were ever married but maybe that means that she never went back and married him...

I like this story though, you do write well Mags.

Mags said...

Ah...Kristen-yes, I was the married one in the story. I am no longer married for your question about if she went back...I'll hold off on that one!!


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