I came home from Barnes and Noble last night with my books double bagged. You wanna know why?
I bought porn. Ok, not porn, but surely it was swanky enough for them to double bag my stuff.
I really don't even know why I went to Barnes and Noble in the first place. Thanks to DinaLove, I have billions of fantastic books to keep me happy for months. But, like always, I found myself standing in the middle of the store, drunk with the "new book" smell that only a select few REALLY appreciate. I must've been pulled in by an invisible force, guiding me to it's evil center.
And, when in BaN, I typically wander aimlessly for about half an hour, peaking around shelves and investigating who's in what section, and what are they looking at. I usually find that if I wander long enough, I will either:
A. Be interrupted by my BaN MaN or
B. Be extremely shocked and delighted (simultaneously) to find a biker dude in the gardening section.
Today, perhaps I was the one doing the shocking.
So, there I was, wandering-knowing I didn't need any books, my head still reeling from trying to figure out how exactly I ended up in the bookstore. Again. With 16 new books to read, plus the 2 I'm currently reading.
Yet. I. Can't. Leave. Books. Pretty. Books. New. Shiny. Yummy. Must. Buy. Books.
I found the porn section and started flipping through the "1000 Ways To Please Your Man In Bed" books (or something like that).
Really officer, I don't know how I got there. I must've taken a wrong turn back at the gardening stack...
So, there I was, tucked in the corner of the store-browsing sexy titles, picture books and videos*, as a girl who was, in my opinion far too young to know what sex was, let alone be touching porn, hastily returned a book to the shelf right next to me. It was pretty-a red velvet cover, wrapped in clear plastic. Those of you who truly know me will not find it hard to understand why I immediately snatched it up. It's name:
A Piece of Cake
Incidentally, it claims to have the "Recipes for female sexual pleasure".
So, along with some other titles, I took the Cake book to my favorite chair and proceeded to read 1/2 of the book. Right there. In BaN. I also managed to read all of another book. It was an easy read. And I was very interested in the subject matter-see example above.
When I realized that I was reading the entire book, I decided to purchase it. One of the chapters suggested some additional reading-merely for research purposes-and who am I to stand in the way of research? So I purchased that as well. This, I believe, was the reason for the double bagging.
So, it's official. Though there are no pictures in the swanky book, I got double bagged. It's all downhill (or uphill depending on the way you look at it!) from here.
And also girls-I highly recommend taking that wrong turn at the gardening stack. Sometimes, it's good to be bad. (It says so right here on page 25....)
*There were 2 men sitting at Starbucks right next to me, watching every move I made. They seemed very interested in which books I was choosing. So-when I was leaving the section, I winked at them. One blushed, the other looked embarrassed. I, on the other hand, felt fantastic.