Saturday, November 26, 2005


It's official: I've been proposed to.
Read this post by Hamel.
Go on...I'll wait....No, really, you have to read it, otherwise this post will mean nothing. (He's really nice, he won't bite...g'head)

Back? Ok. Good. You may now proceed.


On behalf of, well, myself...I would like to officially accept this award with great honor and a great big "You-Picked-Me?" smile.

I welcome the responsibility of a post wife-leaving first date* but only because Hamel stated "I'll pay for the date (and the sitter), and she can pick what we do, from start to finish."**
Why, you ask, am I accepting this award? Well, kids, it's simple, really.

1. He's built in a "you can get engaged or fall in love" factor, which allows me to still pursue cute boys and hope for my "true love" moment. So, really, I have nothing to lose by saying yes.

2. He likes my bangs. I mean, C'mon-it's not often boys actually tell you what they like about you-but to have him like something as obscure like my bangs...he must really be sweet on me.

3. He says I rule. Anytime a man says, "You rule" ladies, you should run with it. This is a rarity, and should be taken advantage of.

4. I've always been a sucker for .50 cent rings-yes, Hamel, you'd have to splurge. I'm not a cheap whore, you know...I'm worth it.

5. The whole "backwards hat" thing. Any boy who promises to wear his hat backwards for me just because he knows I like it? OK IN MY BOOK. Especially when he says he'd wear it during my every waking moment. Course, he could get sick of that and slip me some Tylenol PM or something-I've gotta make a note of that.

6. He's a kind, generous man who has a passion for life. He loves his wife and children very much. What more can a PSWOH (Potential Second Wife of Hamel) award winner ask for?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the grocery store to browse the frozen turkey section for that beefcake that Hamel referred to...

*God Forbid
**Someone is chuckling about that last part right now-do you know who you are?

Friday, November 25, 2005

...Are You Listening?

The day after Thanksgiving means a lot of things. It means the inevitable desire to wear sweatpant-type pants because you ate too much the night before and your jeans are a little snug. It means hoards and hoards of people flocking to the malls, battling each other over parking spaces and the last pair of black leather gloves. It means pictures with Santa, picking out a Christmas tree and dreaming about presents that are soon to come.

It also means being bombarded with every Christmas song there is, both on the radio and in the stores.

From “The Hanukah Song” to “The Little Drummer Boy”-you name it, they’re playing it. I personally love it, but I can see how it would quickly be annoying to those of you with less Christmas spirit than me. I love hearing the children’s choir in “A Very Merry Christmas” the sleigh bells in “Jingle Bells” and even the boisterous “Feliz Navidad!” that I will hear 16 times in the next 8 hours while I am at work. I also love when they play classics such as “Silent Night”, “What Child Is This” and “The First Noel.”

What is your favorite Christmas Song?

Black Friday

Happy Black Friday everyone! This term, I recognize, isn't quite PC. The whole, "White=Good, Black=Bad"...but what the hell, I didn't make it up, so sue me. (Hee hee hee...I just typed due me by accident, which is not only not grammatically correct, but also not PC)

In any case-Happy Black Friday everyone! How many of you are crazy enough to start your Christmas/Hanukkah shopping today? I myself have to work, and so I will not be doing any shopping today.

Due to the tryptophan induced coma I am still in, today's post will simply be a riddle. Post your answers in the comments section. The lucky winner will receive...leftovers.

You mix and disrupt me but it makes me stronger.
You just ignore me, but I get harder the longer.
To top it off, it's surprising to see, you end up walking all over me.
What am I?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Keep Movin', Nothing To See Here

With a family as crazy as mine, you'd think I would have a least one funky turkey story. Well...I don't. Sorry for that.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Love ya-mean it!

At Least You Are My Love

My sister pretty hit the nail on the head tonight when she said, "I thought you didn't like musicals that were made into movies." And she is normally right.

Tonight that changed when I saw RENT.

I have always been a huge fan of theater and musicals and even the opera. The first time I went to the Metropolitan Opera House in NYC my friends made fun of me because the minute the curtain went up, my eyes teared up and I sat in a mesmerized trance until intermission. And I've always been a sucker for harmony. A song could be about a clogged toilet, but if it's sung in any type of harmony, I'm hooked. I've always had a soft spot for boys who can sing, and in fact still hold a tiny bit of my heart for a boy I knew in high school who, to this day, has the most beautiful tenor voice I've ever heard. He made it to Broadway and is one of the reasons I've seen my favorite musical, Les Miserables, 7 or 8 times-he starred in it for a while.

Though I was excited that RENT was being made into a movie, I was skeptical that it would be something I would be happy with when comparing it to my Broadway RENT experience a few years ago. I was pleasantly surprised-nay-I was blown away.

The only thing that made the movie less than the stage production, in my opinion, is that it was on a screen. There is something magical about being in the same room as the people who are filling your being with beauty when they sing and perform.

The actors in the movie, however, are incredible. The set is very close to the stage set, which is also another thing I was worried about. There are only 2 real flash backs into non "reality" and they actually made the 2 songs I like the least, better. That being said, there ARE no bad songs in RENT. I think that this CD is the reason my ex-husband divorced me. I actually played it so much that I wore it out and when I played it, it skipped!

I'm happy to report that they did an awesome job converting this musical and I highly recommend everyone goes to see it-even if this isn't your sort of "thing", I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I myself am already planning on going to see it again, maybe even tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Apple Butter

Apple Butter, just so you know, is in the Peanut Butter isle. I, apparently, am the only one who did not know this, because when I finally happened upon the spot in which the Apple Butter is housed, there was none left.

Sadly, this means that unless the Apple Butter Fairy drops a jar off and leaves it on my porch for me when I get home, I will have to venture to the store tonight before I start baking.

If I suddenly disappear and stop blogging, please call the in the dogs, as I've been mauled by the crazy lady who waited until the last minute to buy her turkey. And, it can be assumed that if, when I get to the store, there is only 1 jar of apple butter left, I WILL FIGHT FOR IT.

And on a totally unrelated note, today I had Shrimp Shumai for lunch...and while I was eating them, I thought, "Man, I would really like Chicken McNuggets instead". Weird.

Happy rest of your day everyone!


Jesus Loves The Frog Guy

Though I was raised to know and love God, I was never forced or even really brought to church, except rare occasions in which my parents felt guilty. A little over 3 years ago, my younger sisters and I decided to take adult catechism classes so that we could be confirmed. (We'd all been baptized and had our first holy communion, but stopped after that)

First of all, my youngest sister loves to sleep late. She was only just 14 and though she wanted to participate, getting up for the 8am mass was overwhelming. She was always half asleep, often dozing during mass.

There was also a very hot guy in our class-and he sat next to me. My mother, the crazy bitch that she is, told his wife (who was a few years older than me, but went to my high school) that I thought he was hot. I was, just so you know, also married at the time. Talk about embarrassing.

My middle sister was pregnant. And unmarried. I think she tried to keep it a secret from them for a couple of weeks because she didn't know how they'd react. They were fine with it and welcomed her, giving her info about Rye Bread's baptism.

So we were a strange trio in this class. I would feel bad about this, only there was one person who trumped us:

The Frog Guy.

We call him the frog guy because he loves frogs. He drives a small green Geo. In the passenger side, he sits a human sized frog-with its seatbelt on. The back seat is completely covered with frog stuffed animals and he has a bumper sticker about preserving the rain forests and the frogs. He's very sweet, but also, very, very weird. He always tried to assist our deacon when he was explaining things...

One day Moneypenny (which is his real name-I know-no one has real names here!! But-that's a great one, and so I kept it), our deacon was explaining marriage and divorce and annulments. He explained that an annulment could be had if, for instance, the marriage was not consummated.

The frog guy, trying to be helpful, and trying to break down the big bad word, "consummated" broke in and said:

"Basically, it means you and your husband are legally married."

Silence spread throughout the room. Giggles (mostly mine and the hot guys-go figure) had to be stifled.

Moneypenny, shaking his head, and also stifling a giggle replied:

"Um, noootttt exactlllyyyy." He flashed us an amused look and continued, "It means that a husband and wife have sex."

I tell ya-that frog guy cracks me up. It was not so much that he was wrong about what "consummated" meant, but how sure he was about it...and how eager he was to "break it down" for us in laymen's terms.

Gotta love the frog guy.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Anniversary Of Me

Today is the Anniversary of Me.

Today is exactly 1 year since I decided not to go back to an abusive relationship, not to continue feeling less than worthy of a good man and the day I took my laughter back from someone who tried to stifle it.

Today is a very, very good day. A day in which I remember learning that many people love me-even when they do not show it-even people who I do not know very well personally.

It is a day that I remember that a stranger can change your life and that God does indeed give you a nudge every now and then.

Today is the day I celebrate being able to buy shoes, to get my nails done if I want to, to eat chocolate cake at 2am, to have my family over my house for dinner, to play with Rye Bread, to not make my bed (!), to buy Christmas gifts, to stay out late, to stay up until 3am, to paint a picture and have it suck, to write a blog, to write a poem, to use my computer, to not shave my legs, to read a book, to play with my silly sisters, to wear chapstick (!!), to be in a play, to visit with a friend, to talk on the phone, to sleep late, to cook with salt, to wear jeans with holes in them, to laugh out loud, to laugh even louder, to cry without being scolded...

...and to live.

Today I celebrate finding a best friend.

I celebrate girls nights and margaritas, being able to have wine in the house, a gummy bear throwing boy friend, a cute boy with a cute mouth and lots of baseball hats, a boss who loves my chocolate cake, being able to buy too many books, writing emails to men I consider friends (O&H) and the freedom to learn from my mistakes.

These are a few of the things that I forgot to fight for last year, and today is the anniversary of the day I took it back.

Thank you God, for giving me the strength and the courage to finally take your hand.

Thank you to my family and friends who continue to help me grow, and who still love me when I fall.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Toosdae ?'s-1 Day Early!!

Toosdae Questions will be 1 day early this week due to an anniversary post coming tomorrow...enjoy!

1. Would you rather get locked out of your house while you were naked or throw up all over someone in an important meeting or interview?

2. If you could own any item from any movie what would you take and why?

3. What is the bravest thing you've ever said to someone and why do you consider it brave?

1. I think I would choose to throw up all over someone-because everyone throws up and it is most often uncontrollable, so the victim should forgive you. (Though being thrown up on by a stranger would really be terrible) Getting locked out of my house naked would mean I would have to knock on one of my neighbors doors, and they aren't the friendliest people. I can't imagine knocking on Boo's door naked. Ew. Though he probably has surveillance cameras hooked up in my house anyway. And the religious people across the street frown on nakedness, I am sure, and they'd probably torch my house or something to rid me of evil. The old lady next door probably can't make it to her door, and I'd just be left standing, nude, and it would probably rain. So yeah, give me the barf.

2. Gee. This is a tough question for me. I'd say probably that big blue diamond necklace from Titanic. Not because it's particularly pretty and I'd like to wear it, but because it was "lost" and if I owned it, many people would want to rent it from me for exhibit. Ok, maybe I'd wear it around the know, when I was dusting and stuff. It would be great if I got locked out of my house naked with just that on. Then maybe I'd choose the naked.

3. I think the bravest thing I have ever said to someone was, "Did you ever think it was because YOU didn't have anything?" I consider it brave because it was said to Jamie when he was yelling at me about how he thought I tricked him into living with me. (For free, without paying me, making me buy stuff etc...Ludicrous) Anyway, he said something like, "You lured me into your life so I would take care of this house and do everything for you because you have no one and nothing!" To which I angrily replied with the above sentence. Luckily it shut him up and he walked away before he got abusive.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Best Friends

I spent the day with my family today. As always, it was fun, and as always, the highlight of my life is seeing my 3 year old niece. Here is a conversation she and I had today...

Rye Bread: "Kimmie and Katie are my best friends."

Me: "I thought that Julia was your best friend."

Rye Bread: "No...Corrinne AND Kimmie and Katie. (Matter of factly) They are all my best friends."

Me: "What about me? Aren't I one of your best friends too?"


Rye Bread: " old are you?"

*Sigh* Just goes to show, the smarter they get, the harder it is to be cool.


I am so fucking stupid.
That's all I have to say 'bout that.