Saturday, November 05, 2005

Post It Notes

Somebody recently asked me how I stay positive and how I keep my laughter, even after all that's happened in the last 3 years. The true answer is, "I don't quite know." But what I do know is that keeping laughter in your life is the only option if you want to be happy. As I looked around my desk yesterday afternoon, I realized that I keep little notes and sayings posted on my walls, mixed in with pictures of family and friends to keep me smiling. Here are some of the Post It Notes of my life:

"Please Note:
I will give you a million bazillion dollars if you deny this request." A plea to deny a time off request to do something unpleasant but obligitory.

Live each day with a little less fear & a little more faith...words I try to live by.

Faith, trust & pixie dust. A Tinkerbell pin I stuck to my cubicle because I think it sums up how I'd like to live. (Though I'd like a little more pixie dust)

Ad don't need to be renewed-just make changes-Mags

"Yo why are you talking like a gang member? I don't make no stinkin changes bro. Love Fiddy Cent" An error I made on a note to employees and the response I got back.

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. March 8th, the day I hired Judy, note from her inspirational quotes calendar.

I've never seen a bucket-o-pickles that big. The Halvah is heavenly. You are heavenly too. From Skinny Pete, Judy's husband, in regard to the b-day gift I gave him from his favorite Jewish Deli.

You will move to a wonderful new home within the year. 8, 7, 17, 37, 41, 45, a fortune from a cookie right before I started dating again.

Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. A quote I like.

For there is hope for a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again and that its tender shoots will not cease. Even though its roots grow old in the earth, and it's stump die in the dust, yet at the first scent of water, it will bed and put forth branches like a young plant. Job 14:7-9, Self explanatory, really.

If it's a good idea...go ahead and do it. It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission. March 21-Right before making decision about buying a plane ticket for an improptu trip to Disney-from the calendar.

To pray only when in peril is to use safety belts only in heavy traffic. July 1st, from the calendar.

Kindness-pass it on! Random acts of kindness poster I made for employees.

..but it is a question of being patient, of letting time take its course, we should have learnt this once and for all, that destiny has to make many turnings before arriving anywhere, destiny alone knows...From Blindness by Jose Saramago and God, probably.

The garden is growth and change, and that means loss as well as constant new treasures to make up for a few disasters. July 10th, on rebuilding.

Even cowards can endure hardship; only the brave can endure suspense. July 12, on not knowing.

Help us to have perfect trust in your protecting love and strengthening power so that nothing may frighten or worry us. A prayer I hid under my keyboard at work for when I feel scared.


How much would you give me if I bludgeoned her to death with my monkey? On friends sticking together, really...

Friday, November 04, 2005

Smoke 'Em Out

There are few things I find more disgusting than smoking. (Ok, those of you who know me in real life are probably shouting a "WhatEVER!" only because, well, I find lots of things disgusting) In any case-I don't like being around people when they are smoking and often find myself getting angry when I'm involuntarily exposed to smoke.

Almost everyday I shop at a local grocery store near my office. This store apparently does not have a break area for it's employees because without fail, there are always 2 or 3 workers smoking on the bench out front.

(On a side note-this upsets me also because they are employees smoking in a customer area-when working, even on break, I feel they should be in a designated area, away from customers. Guess where I got that line of thinking???)

So, back to the smoke...

I hate it. I hate that when I walk into the store, I get accosted by billowing puffs of carcinogens exhaled by scabby teenagers who should be in school. I hate that when the wind is blowing the smoke sticks to me and I have to smell it in my hair, which is long and thick, all day.

I also hate when I walk out of the store and the turn their heads to see who's coming out and blow the smoke toward me, essentially creating a tunnel of death in that little automatic door entrance thingy.

Everyone has a right to choose whether or not they want to be a smoker-I just wish they'd find somewhere else to do it.

On a happier note, I bought some Minute Maid fruit snacks which come in 10 convenient fun snack pouches and am looking forward to partaking in their chewy goodness after lunch!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

House Broken: Part 4

“Are you going to be home on Saturday?” She asked. Her voice shakey, knowing what she was about to verbalize. Knowing that saying it out loud to him made the decision real.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re being served.” And it was done.

He stared at her for a minute. His grey blue eyes were sunken in from the stress of his depression, of his job; his deception. He looked small and frail, and she couldn’t help wanting to hug him, even though he was the reason the words had to be spoken.

“I want us to remain family” she said. “I don’t want this to be ugly. You’re important to me and I want you to know that.”

His eyes moved past hers now, through her, into another world. The world she suspected he wanted to share with his Mexican Mistress.

“Ok. We’ll treat each other like family.” He muttered, sticking out his jaw.

“Be home ok? I don’t want to have to pay this guy twice.”

“I’ll be here, don’t worry. I want this thing done quickly, remember?”

She sighed. “Yeah. I remember. I’m going to take a bath.”

Upstairs in the master bedroom, she drew her bath. Her pale, silky skin turned red when it touched the heat of the lavendar scented water. As she sank deeper into the tub, she closed her eyes and tried to remember what her life was like when he loved her back.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Lunch Break

I am doomed. I'm officially the worst at being a single girl.

When flirted with-I scoff. I tend to say things like, "C'mon!?! Are you kidding me with that comment?" shooting down my once potential suitor immediately. Depending on what type of boy he is, they either stay for more abuse, or promptly display the peace sign and walk away.

(On another note, anyone who displays the peace sign before leaving is no one I want to date anyway. I mean, how lame is that?)

And it's not that I'm not flattered by what they say, it just makes me nervous, and so I retaliate with some sort of sarcastic remark. I also get nervous during flirting encounters with strangers. When making eye contact across a room, I'm fine. I can smile and laugh and give make just enough eye contact so that he knows I think he's cute. But that all stops once he puts his drink down and walks over to me.

I then become an idiot. The "Um, I uh, yeah...hi" Mags comes out. I think that I may have even drooled in the past as well. This doesn't make for good "Date me" material, as proven by my life. I also tend to get splotchy. Being fair skinned, my face and neck get red heat splotches and I look like some sort of leper. Also not good "Date me" material.

And the worst is when boys show interest in me, and I ignore it because I'm too nervous. Like the time a boy insinuated he wanted to take me to dinner, and instead of offering him my number, I said, "Well, maybe I'll see you around sometime" and walked away with my friend. She later asked me why I wasn't interested in the boy and was stupified when I told her I was.

So the moral of this little lunch time break is: I will be single forever. I guess I should start accumulating the cats...

Harold Is His Name

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary."The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"A little kid said, "Verge."Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?" The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''
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3-year-old, Reese:"Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name..."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in aChristian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
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Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough ."You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait. '"Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"
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A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand."Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Martes Madness

You know you wanna...

1. What is one thing you wish you were better at doing? Do you continue to try to be better at it?


2. If you had a magic wand and could change 1 thing in your best friends life, what would it be and why?

3. What's the craziest thing you've ever done on a dare?

1. I wish I was better at starting conversations. I have a hard time being the one who starts a conversation going in 1 direction or another. This is not true, however, with strangers. I usually have no trouble talking to random people about nothing and everything, but with people I know, it's harder. And yes, I do try everytime I am with someone. It's kind of stressful.

2. If I had a magic wand and could change anything about my best friends life, I think I would choose to grant her son social acceptance. He's one of the coolest people I know, but way to "old" for his age (15) and I think it breaks her heart when he's lonely. Not having to worry about that would give her joy. (I would also want to build her a cottage on her land on Fisher's Island so she could go write and contemplate what a good friend I am, but since I only get 1 choice...)

3. The craziest thing I've ever done on a dare was to flash a truck full of guys on the way home from the beach one summer in college. My friend, who has a much larger, more impressive chest than I do, refused to do it when our male friends prodded her. When I said "C'mon, what's the big deal?!" they all turned to me. Being that I am very competitive and secretly like being the crazy, spunky one, I did it. The look on the guys' faces in the truck was very funny, and I even got a "2 thumbs up". (And my friends thought I was fearless)


Ready-Set...

GO!
Go to NaNoWriMo to learn more. Like many, I am sure, I do not yet know what I am going to write about, nor do I know if I will be able to finish...but trying is always fun!
Wish me luck!
(I'm sure you can still register if you are interested.)

Monday, October 31, 2005

I DID Get A Rock...

Why this year's Halloween was a bust:

1. I forgot to carve my pumpkins. What?! Yep. Just call me Loser. (Sung like "Daughter")

2. Despite the fact that this year I have one neighbor who actually put their lights on, I did not get ONE trick or treater! NOT ONE FLIPPIN KID! Cue the music...

3. I now have a disgusting amount of chocolate...I hate chocolate*. Next year? I'm doling out the Ready Whip...yup, you heard me. The little kiddies will just shuffle up to the door, tilt their heads back and open wide. Perhaps I will even have a prize for the child who can swallow the most whipped cream. The ones who don't say thank you will get an extra shot up their noses.

4. No one in my office dressed up. Not even a little bit. I suppose this is my fault, because I am the office manager and should have approached the subject. But, c'mon! I was hoping for some glittery hair, or at least some wacky socks.

5. I got the Strep. I woke up today with a sensation I liken to an ice pick being jabbed in my ear, and a throat so sore I couldn't swallow. (It's a good THING I'm not giving out Ready Whip!) I had to go see my dorky ass doctor who never knows what's wrong...I did yell at him today when he mis-pronounced my name, which brought me some joy, but overall? A bad experience.

So, here's to a better Halloween next year, friends who will gladly eat my leftover chocolate (and maybe bring me RW in exchange??) and 1 pill, 3 times a day...

Peace out.

*Chill out chocoholics. I don't HATE it. I just prefer whipped cream.

Thriller

I don't care what anyone says...hearing Michael Jackson's "Thriller" on the way to work?

A great way to start the day.

Halloween Havoc

When I was little I lived in Westchester County, NY. I was an only child at the time. My Aunt, who was 9 years older than I was, became more of an older sister to me than an Aunt. We were inseparable. She took me everywhere. She used me as an excuse to keep playing Barbies, even when she was "too old". She make me prettier in my awkward years and was the Matron of Honor in my wedding.

She also let me in on her secrets, taught me how to wear lip gloss and took me along when she was getting into trouble.

One of those times happened to be Halloween...

It must have been 1980 or '81 because we had not yet moved to CT. I was either in nursery school or kindergarten. I'm not sure what exactly I was for Halloween that year but one side of my face was painted white and the other, red. I had 2 blue dimples painted on and a big red smile. I suppose I was some sort of clown. I also had a red wig. My Aunt was a country girl in jeans, a plaid shirt and a straw hat. She naturally had freckles, but she drew some more on with eyeliner.

She was taking me out trick or treating. Without my mom and dad. Which made me cool. Even more cool? Her friend was coming too. She was dressed up like a bumble bee.

To be honest, I can't remember most of the details of this night. I remember going to some of the neighbors houses; the ones that knew my Nana and Papa and remembered my mom when she was little. They'd open the door, see my Aunt and say, "Oh, who do you have here?!" in a silly voice, knowing full well that I was MargaretAnne's daughter. The candy would be thrown in my pillow case and we were on our way.

Somehow, things went from responsible and normal to chaotic and deviant very quickly. Shaving cream was involved. And eggs. To this day I still don't know how my Aunt got the eggs out of my Italian Nana's kitchen, especially because my 2 uncles still lived at home then, and they were both always in the kitchen.

But she did, and they were thrown, and she got dirty. Like I said, I don't remember the order of events, so bear with me...

We knocked on a door. A man answered. I was scared of him. My Aunt bellowed, "Trick or Treat!" and he snapped. He yelled at us for knocking when his light was out. And then he pointed a gun at us.

I don't know if it was real. Being that it was the 80's, it probably was. So we ran. I had trouble keeping up so my Aunt picked me up and ran with me on her bony hip. I remember feeling loved.

We ran to Mt. St. Carmel, the church we attended, and the Catholic school all my Aunts and Uncles went to. We hid behind the bushes, huffing and puffing, half laughing, half crying. And then we saw the police car.

In my mind, we didn't do anything wrong. So to this day, I'm not sure why we ran. But we did. And the bee's wing got caught in the bushes, and it ripped, and she cried because her mother would be angry. The cops never got us, but I remember that they shined the spotlight on us, and went down the same street we did.

We ditched them because we ran into the playground of my school.

On the way home, my Aunt and her friend asked me if I had fun. When I replied a half hearted, "Yeah..." they immediately inquired why. I think they were worried I'd squeal on them. I remember I was nervous to tell them why, but this, I am sure, is one of my bravest little kid moments...

"Can you spray shaving cream in my wig so mommy thinks I got bombed?"

...And she did. And THAT is why I kept her secret.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Happiness

Only 10:28am and I've smiled enough for a whole day! Here are some of the reasons why...

Driving down to my parent's house has always been one of my favorite drives. Route 9 in the CT River Valley is breathtakingly beautiful, especially in the fall. The winding, hilly road is lined with rocks and lush foliage. This morning, the trees were especially colorful, the rocks glistened in the sun (especially my favorite rock formation) and the sky was a crisp turquoise blue. At one point, the wind blew and a group of leaves churned around my car. With the window open, I imagined being inside the gust. Aaahhhh...I love it here.

Also while driving, my 2 most favorite "Belt them out like no one's listening" songs came on: "No Rain" by Blind Mellon and "Stay" by Lisa Loeb. This paired with the comment listed above made for a most excellent drive.

So did the yummy Cinnamon Hazelnut coffee I got from the local doughnut shop in my town. Going to a local shop makes me happy. It makes me feel like I'm a part of a community; a place where people like to call each other by their names and ask, "How are the kids?" and say, "I'll see you tomorrow".

I'm going to the circus today. I haven't been to the circus since 1993 when a friend and I decided to take our dates there instead of going to a prom party. We got pulled over on the way home b/c her date was driving too slow.

Not only am I going to the circus today, but I get to go with the cutest, craziest 3 year old...Rye Bread. She's already talking about the fact that there are animals there, and her favorite are the elephants (a girl after my own heart) and the giraffe's...who, incidentally, she would like as pets.
I'm hoping to get some great pics, and maybe if you're lucky, I'll share them. >80)

So-I hope that you all are having a wonderful day too-it's a great day for New England, and hopefully Old England too!!

Ciao!

Rewind

Everyone has a "Holy shit I can't believe I did that" moment. Some of us have several. Most of us would not go back to change them if given the choice, even though they caused some embarrassment or hurt. But there may be 1 or 2 incidences that I can think of that I wouldn't mind re-doing...
Like the time I laughed so hard I spit on someone. In the face. And his mouth was open. And I had a cold. (And I had a crush on him)
Or the time I was drunk on cough medicine (not on purpose) and went bowling with my boyfriend and his family. I was so loopy that when it was my turn, I wound my arm back to bowl and the ball flew out of my hand and torpedoed backwards. And landed on an old man's lap. And he was in a wheelchair.
So, for all of you who would also like an hour of your life back:
Don't forget to change your clocks before you go to sleep tonight!