Saturday, October 22, 2005

House Broken: Part 2-Flashback

(Click Here To Read Part 1)

"Do you wear contacts?" he asked.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"That explains it."

"What? What explains what?"

"I've never seen anyone with prettier green eyes before." The corner of his mouth turned up, and he stared at her in a playful way.

"Oh" she giggled, looking down with embarassment. "Thanks...but they're real. They're not colored."

The only words she heard in the next hour of training were those of his compliment. The other new girl, a rather geeky, plump girl with bad teeth, listened to him intently as he trained them on the S.O.P. She would later learn that this was the moment he thought he "knew".

"Does your boyfriend at home know you brought those eyes down here?" Again, his mouth turned up but this time, his eyes danced.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he knows, considering they're not there looking at him!"

"Right...very true." And he walked away.

"He was just testing to see if you were single." Geek girl said. "I think he likes you."

She didn't know it meant to be liked by another boy. Sure, other people flirted with her, but they all knew her boyfriend, and all knew how "together" they were.

This boy knew nothing except the color of her eyes. And she liked that.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Another Question

Assuming you'd be cool enough to have music at your wake (when you die) what song or songs would be played or sung?

Even though it was already used, Pedro, I would say Dust In The Wind would be sung at mine too, only b/c THEN I'd associate it with my wake and not someone else's-and also, I really like the stupid song. I think also something by Abba should be played, probably "Dancing Queen" or "Take A Chance"-or heck-why not both?

Hopefully, I'll die after Pedro and I can fulfill his "Rock The Casbah" request.

Ain't no one gonna ban my boogie sound!

Questions: Please Answer

Would you rather:

1. Be shot in the thigh with a .357 magnum OR have your thigh sliced with a samurai sword?

2. Try to take a piece of meat from a mongoose OR have to ride an angry bull?

3. Wear 10 t-shirts at a time OR five pairs of socks at a time?

1. I would rather be shot in the thigh because that's less of an area that would have to heal. I just would hope that the bullet didn't graze the bone.

2. Ride an angry bull, because I'd be on top of the bull and feel more in control-whether it's imagined or not. And also, if I am successful, people would think I was very cool.

3. Wear 10 t-shirts. I don't like having my feet confined and also, I like shoes way too much and I wouldn't be able to wear shoes with that many pairs of socks on.

*I stole these questions, but I don't remember where from-so I'm sorry.



Thursday, October 20, 2005

No Wish Tonight...

I haven't been able to post about my breakfast disappointment yet today because I've been stuck in interviews all day and this is my first opportunity to get here.

I had Strawberries and Stars oatmeal this morning-and there were no stars.

What's up with that?

If they're gonna name is "Strawberries and Stars-GIVE ME STARS!


Karaoke

My mother has always been on the wild and somewhat kookie side. One story from her childhood involves a DD size bra and Macy's department store. Apparently, to embarrass my Nana, she placed the bra on her head and exclaimed, "Mommy! Look at my new hat!"

And it didn't stop there. When she grew up and had me and my sisters, there were various different oddities that she "showed off" to us. And lucky for us, it was always in front of our friends.

Like the time she put a bath bead up her nose. (I don't exactly know why she did this or why she thought it would be funny.) She came into the den where my new boyfriend and I were watching a movie and said in a weird lispy voice, "I got somefin stuck in my nofse." while laughing hysterically.
The joke was on her-the lavender scented bath bead got stuck and we had to pierce it so it would drain and shrink in size. Having a somewhat calming effect, the lavender aroma therapy zonked her out, giving my boyfriend and I the ability to make out uninterrupted. I don't think she's ever put another bath bead up her nose, though I haven't lived at home since 1995.

I also particularly love her bus driver joke-the one she tells everyone and their brother-the one that's not very funny at all, but hearing her tell it while she's laughing is quite funny. Do you know it? It's the one where you put your hands over your face, except you leave your nose sticking out...and then you say, "Bus driver, bus driver-my nose, my nose!"

Incidentally, she uses the same lispy voice for this joke too.

And it was always fun trying to sleep late on the weekends. My mother is notoriously up at the crack of dawn-perhaps even before then. If I didn't actually see her sleep at one point, I would question whether or not she did. By the time the sun has risen, she's been up for practically 8 hours and feels as though we've wasted the day.

What does a crazy, wacky mom do to get her kids up in the morning? Does she lovingly rustle their hair, give them warm "good morning" kisses on their forehead singing, "Rise and shine!"?

What do you think?

My mother cranked the stereo (which was in the room under my room) to the highest decibel and let the music vibrate me out of bed. And if that didn't work...

She'd turn on the karaoke machine and yell into the microphone, "The carpet needs to be vacuumed. You can't sleep all day! Get up Mags! Get up!"

Things like this bothered me when I was younger. Today I realized how funny they are. I'm sure this is due, in part, to the fact that I don't live at home, and that I had the luck of being first born; of having memories of a loving mother to balance these crazy annoying ones. Mostly, I think that growing up made me realize that life with my nutty mom has taught me to laugh and be silly and that being an adult doesn't mean you have to be stuffy.

And also, it made me hate karaoke machines.







Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Yup...

This pretty much sums it up...

No Strings My Ass!

Whoa Davey boy! My question is "Why?!" And also, why does he think everyone will love it?

Is his married to this girl? If no, will he pay child support? And will it even be his? Or will he pick use the essence of some random schmuck in the audience?

And will they live in a manger?

Out of control...nuts even.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Death Of A Phone Call

1-203-555-1212

*RING*RIIINNNNGGGG*
*RING*RIIINNNNGGGG*

"Please do not dial 1 or an area code when dialing a local number. Please hang up and try again."

555-1212

*Boo Doo DOOO* (That's my annoying this number can't be connected as dialed noise. Deal with it)

"Please dial the area code when making a local call out of your area."

203-555-1212

*Beep...Beep. Beeeep....Beeeep" (Busy-Duh!)

This is why I hate calling people.
And also why most of my friends live out of state. (No question about the dialing situation.)

Rhymes for Rye Bread

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Watercolored Love
If I could paint a pink hued sky
I'd give the sky to you.
I'd wrap it up in cellophane
and help you wonder why.

I'd dip my brush in the sallow water;
drag it across the page.
And through this work of art, my dear,
I'd watch you come of age.

I'd drift across the tepid sea,
and paint a whale to ride.
We'd surf among the Osprey birds
and travel the countryside.

If I could paint a river, love,
the fish would be our friends
.
And cows would graze in pastures near
and your youth would never end.

If these hands were gifted child,
like the hands of others past,
I'd paint a world of bubble gum
and it wouldn't move so fast.

I'll paint for you what comes to mind,
the images in my soul.
Just know deep down, my sweetest one,
you make my world whole.

~Mags 10/17/05






Monday, October 17, 2005

Syrup Surprise

I had french toast for dinner...

...sometimes, it's good to be a grown up!

Your Id Exposed

Free Association:
1. A psychoanalytic technique in which a patient's articulation of free associations is encouraged in order to reveal unconscious thoughts and emotions.
2. A spontaneous, logically unconstrained and undirected association of ideas, emotions, and feelings.

The thought here is to share the first thing you think of when you see the word or phrases below. There is no right or wrong answer-only what your mind reveals to you. Your answers can be long or short. I love them either way.

If you feel self conscious, post it anonymously-but please play-you keep me amused and I need to be amused on Mondays! (Remember-you can't be wrong! Where else can you say that's true?)

Illiterate::
Long Lost::
Tempestuous::
Slippery::
Flub::
Green:
Near Death:

One word or two, any answer will do! Mine are posted in the comment section so you I don't sway your brain!






Sunday, October 16, 2005

Premature Erotication

At what point in the dating chain is it ok to throw out sexual innuendos? You know the ones-insinuating that someone's "been very bad" and they ask "will I get punished?"

I have a feeling the fact that I think these should be held back until you know someone a little shows that I am a bit of a prude. Or I as like to say, "A nice girl".

And I guess I've always been that way-my crushes always tend to be the boys who are on the sweeter side in the beginning, telling me I have a pretty smile and expressing interest in kissing me rather than saying something crude and sexual.

In high school the boy who asked me if I was virgin during our first conversation got little more than one phone call out of me. On another note, his name was Gerwin. I could never date anyone with such a horridly weird name, let alone give him the opportunity to change my "yes" to a "no". (And NO, I didn't answer him...I coolly giggled and said, 'I'm gonna be late for bio' and slipped into the classroom.)

There's a point in every relationship where you generally feel more comfortable with each other-usually it's right around the first time you have sex and definitely after you have the sex that's illegal in most states. In my opinion, this would be the time to bring on the raunchy and the racy. This is when you can tell me you want me to punish you because you've been bad or that I've been a naughty girl and you'll have to teach me a lesson.

Not when I've only known you a week, not when I haven't even met you yet and certainly not on a random text message.

Or am I just being a prude? Should I just have told him about my handcuffs and my whip and how bad I wanted to be punished too?