Monday, December 12, 2005

Deal Gone Bad

What is the thing in your life that makes you stop and say, "Wow. I'm in a completely different spot than I thought I'd be."

For me it's today: 12/12

Today's the day I was married. Isn't that freaky? Though I have memories and it does have meaning, it's so strange for me to think of myself as someone who's been married. Especially because my life today is so different and I've experience so many wonderful things NOT being married it makes me shiver to think I may have not experienced them.

It also makes me shiver to think I could still be married to Matt. I know, I know, it sounds mean. But he was really rather dull in comparison to people I've met over the last 2 1/2 years I've been divorced. In fact, I just stumbled upon something he wrote and thought, "This is so without passion".

In true Maggie fashion, here are some good things I remember:

1. Woo Hoo and the chase.
2. The Christmas Parade. (You may get some of this in House Broken...)
3. "You'd better let me sign these fiance is about to have an E.P.I.S.O.D.E!"
4. Slow dancing in our new room.
5. Mr. Roboto
6. Cramming into the minivan to see if we'd all fit for our NYC trip before the wedding.
7. Buying me the perfect bouquet, even though it was too expensive, just because I loved it so much.
8. Telling me you didn't get a piece of cake b/c you knew I'd give you mine and then watching the video later and seeing you had at least 4! (This still makes me giggle)
9. "DO YOU SEE THESE TEE-SHIRTS? I'M THE GROOOOM AND SHE'S THE BRIIIIDE....(mater of factly) we're getting on that plane."
10. "We came all the way from America just so I could buy Smarties from this store...please let us in." and then..."Wow. I can't believe that fucking worked!"

So, here's to memories, but also, here's to deals gone bad.

Looking forward to more days filled with passion and laughter, and less with tears and frustration.


One who listens said...

Seven years ago, it was seven years since the 12th December 1991.

My life changed on 12th December 1991, and not just because I was 18 and a few months. I won't go into why in this comment, but it changed for the worse.

Seven years later, I was engaged to be married on the 12th December 1998 to a woman who messed with my head completely. I thank the Lord that I didn't marry her.

I feel that today is somehow hugely significant, but I don't yet know why.

But it'll be interesting to find out. :)


Mags said...

Owl...that's extremely intersting that it's the same day.

I am happy that you got away and have a good girl now.


Hamel said...

"Looking forward." Ain't that the key?

DinaLove said...

I was married in 1997 and divorced last year (after being separated since 2000). I feel like it was barely a union, yet the divorce thing rears it ugly head at me at surprising moments every so often.

Of course, I know I'm better off now than I was then--and am thankful for an amicable split--but it's like being permanently scarred on my elbow. I don't see it every day, but once in a while, I glimpse it and it catches me off guard.

I love my life and my boyfriend now, but I do still get that weird twinge sometimes and think of how my life would have been different if I were still married.

Mags said...


The scars we collect only make us stronger-you know that though. It will get easier and soon you will be able to look at it more positively. Just remember that it happened for a reason, and that you are where you are meant to be.

Go have a samosa on me. 8-)

DinaLove said...

You'd be so proud! It's been an ethnicfoodapalooza for me this week! Fab, yummy sushi yesterday across the street from our apt at Takahachi (East Village); today, spicy coconut chicken noodle broth at Republic in Union Square. Food makes everything bad go away.

Mags said...

Oh, love, is it springtime yet?

;) Glad to hear you are eating your way across town.