Monday, November 07, 2005

Crazy Family Members

Everyone of us has a relative or close family friend who's a little nuts. They're the ones that we hide from at all of the gatherings, and dodge weekly phone calls from-always making up some excuse or another as to why we can't come to the phone. And for those of you who say you don't have someone in your family like this, as Dane Cook says, it's you-you're the person people hide from.

In my family, the crazy person is my Dad's sister. I think she literally has some sort of brain disorder and since it's not clinically proven, I feel I can make fun of her.

The symptoms of her disorder are as follows:

1. Having no concept of what is and is not approriate to say to people who don't know you well. Example: The way she openly shares information about her sex life, including comparisons of her ex-husbands genitalia.

2. The inability to know that not everyone wants to discuss THEIR sex lives. Example: The time she asked me if my ex-husband had a big penis. (Ew)

3. Yelling things that are deemed unacceptable in public Example: When my uncle walked out of a public restroom and she yelled, "Did you go number 1 or number 2?!"

4. Being late and unprepared for everything. This includes planning meals and parties, as well as daily coordination of life.

5. The inability to know that when we don't answer the phone the first 3 times she calls, that we simply do not want to talk.

So, as you can imagine, my crazy Aunt D is a very unique person and keeps us on our toes. She is my God mother, and so I do love her, however I went through a stage in which I debated everything she said, simply because it came out of her mouth.

Still...I am glad she lives in Maryland and only visits sporadically throught the years...

Do you have any crazy family members?

3 comments:

C-Unit said...

Well, I think mom is pretty crazy and is more like Aunt D than you care to admit! Just a comment: You dont love someone because they are your godmother! I love her because of her craziness and she makes me laugh! But I can definitely see why you would hide from her, and why others would!! She is pretty nutz!!

One who listens said...

My brother's a lot crazy. How many people take a year out to go to Poland, and end up getting chased by wolves through the woods?

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. » » »