The Non-Nese

Yup, it's official, I have the WORST luck with boys EVER!

Today I worked the booth at a local trade show with my employee, Gadget. She's wicked cool and we often tease each other. I was psyched that she was there with me today to pass the time.

Almost immediately after I got settled in the booth, I surveyed the surrounding exhibitors...blow up boat guy on the left, kinda cute but short, weird Chinese massage people in front of us, a teak table guy who resembled Vince Vaughn diagonal and a really freaking hot guy from Boston with the BEST accent to our right.

Freaking hot Boston guy was in love with Gadget, who, incidentally, doesn't even like men. (Though she did say she was in love with this guy-that's how hot he was). I did find out he smokes though, and so that immediately made him not hot AT ALL. Stupid freaking hot Boston Guy.

So, are you curious who did like me?? Remember the weird Chinese massage people? Well, they had a non-nese with them: a tall, lanky balding man with the biggest Adams Apple I've ever seen. He wore glasses, which is usually a turn on for me, but not these glasses. They were too big and somehow accentuated his big, long nose.

He sauntered over to our booth and stood right in front of me. "So, are you going to come over and get a massage?"

Me: "No. Sorry, I've got to work."
Non-Nese: "You can take a break."
Me: "No I can't actually. I've gotta work here all day. No breaks..."
NN: "Have you ever gotten a massage before?"
Me: "Yes, lots of times actually. They are great. But not today."
NN: "What kind?"
Me: (laughing ) "Um, I'm not really sure what kind...the kind you lay on the table."
NN: "Oh, with oils and such? Deep?"
At this point, I can barely keep in my giggles. I am very aware of Gadget staring at me grinning in her little cute Oklahoma grin...
Me: "Um...yeah."
NN: "I've been massaging for 23 years now. I do something a little different-I have you lay on the ground on a futon. You'd wear really loose clothing and it would be wonderful."
(In my head:) "Get the fuck away from here now. Run, before I hit you."
Me: (Out loud) "Oh, really? That's nice."
What I needed was a way out of this, because NN was not leaving....luckily Gadget yelled to someone passing by and it gave me a reason to giggle. I was holding it in so long that it hurt.

Finally NN left and went over to his booth, but all day he kept looking over at me, trying to get me to look at him. Gadget teased me saying that she was going to give him my direct line at work and my email address. Gross.

The day wasn't all that bad though. I did manage to get one handsome man to dance for me right in front of our booth which was cool, and handed out lots of computer shaped stress relievers-mainly because I called them "squishy computers". Most of the men I handed them to took them after they repeated, "squishy computers, huh?" or something like that. The ones that said they didn't want them ended up taking them when I said, "Aw, c'mon...if you take one we'll get a bonus" or "You know you want it..." which was funny. I found that adding a little flirt to your eyes always gives unwanted things away.

Fun. I like it when people play along with my craziness.