To heck with first kisses. I mean, yeah-potentially fantasmically wonderful...I haven't kissed many people in the grand scheme of things so the ratio of good kisses to bad is pretty good for me. But still-why do so many people focus on the first kiss?
Yeah-ok, I get it..."The first time our lips met I felt sparks" or "I knew he was the man I was going to marry." WhatEVER! The sparks? They're called nerves. And if he's hot, it's called lust. And you KNEW you'd marry him? How?* Ok. I can kind of give you this one. But to KNOW he was the one? I think maybe he just used Binaca. It's got a really high alcohol content. You were DRUNK! And who doesn't love minty breath? And did he have Drakkar on? Shit. Pheromones! Gets us every time, doesn't it ladies?
Screw the first kiss. I want to talk lasts.
Why don't people say, "I'm contemplating dumping you in a few days...get your Chapstick out. We've gotta lotta making out to do." You know? I mean, really. Why not go out with a really good knock 'em dead, take-your-breath-away kiss?
I think this should be in the dating handbook. Right before "How to Grovel Your Way Back After the Last Kiss Left You Wanting More" and right after "Binaca 101-Do You Really Want A Wife?" Does anyone know how I can get in touch with the editors?
*All kidding aside, I really need to know the answer to this question-Megan? Hamel? Pedro? Any other random married person? Anyone? Anyone?? Is this thing even ON?!