Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Monkey Madness

"How much would you give me if I bludgeoned her to death with my monkey?"

THAT was the best question I've ever heard asked in my office. Well, it wasn't technically asked. It was maturely written on a post-it note and stuck to my hand as I walked by my best friend's desk. We're so grown up. But WTF? SOMETHING has to be done!

The one we'd like the Grape Ape to body slam is a new manager. She's a power hungry, condescending bitch who makes everyone feel like they've just shit their pants in front of out biggest client. Why, I would like to ask, does she feel the need to make everyone feel bad? Why does she have to call everyone by their last names, and why, why, WHY does she have to say, "You see what I'm sayin" after everything?

The worst part? She has no clue what she's doing. So, her attitude is obviously over compensation for what she lacks in her business skills. If she were a man, she'd have a BIG truck.

So, to all of you who have stuffed monkeys, prepare them for battle. I'm thinkin crazy flying Wizard of Oz monkey stunts would work....what do you think?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Enough with the monkey business-you need to tell her!