Chocolate Cake?!

Have you ever known someone who you have to deal with on a regular basis but you can't stand to even look at them? Like, you haven't even seen them yet today, but you're already wishing the day was over b/c they tire you out? Or, you'd like to be heavily medicated all day so that the sound of their voice is muted?

I have an employee like that.

Let's call her Bambi.

For the record, I have to say that Bambi does have a heart of gold, and, I believe would do anything for any of the people in her life, including me. That being said, she dumber than dirt, and she drives me insane. And I'm not alone.

She's become the office joke.

The problem is that she comments on everything. But not in a normal, good, quirky, funny way like the rest of us....but rather in a random (read stupid) way.

I usually use chocolate cake as an example for this story. Mainly b/c this tends to be something I make that makes people smile, but also b/c not many people talk about chocolate cake on a regular basis, and so you will understand how FREAKIN random Bambi is.

Picture it-an office. 3 or 4 of us standing around, laughing, making fun of each other, sharing each others' lives. We'll be talking about, let's say, the babies that Megan's sisters just had:

Judy: Megan! Let's see more pictures of those cute babies!

Megan: Oh my God! They just had their first bath this weekend! Look at how adorable they are!

Mags: Oh my GOD! Look at those fat little legs-I just want to bite them!

Megan: I KNOW!

Bambi: Oh-that's nothin'...you should see this chocolate cake my sister in law to be made this weekend.

....


....

....WHAT!??

....HUH?

(Did I miss something?)

In fact, no.

The only person missing something here is Bambi. It seems she's not wired right. It seems that she:

1. Thinks that she's contributing to our conversation when in fact, she's really killing it.

2. Calls everyone by their title-which really freakin pisses me off. "my husband, my mother in law, my soon to be sister in law" (WE KNOW THEIR NAMES! USE THEM!)

3. Has no clue that people laugh at her.

This last statement is sad, really. However, all of us are truly kind, patient people, who are generally open minded and welcoming.

We've tried.

And we've tried some more.

It's not working.

Bambi likes chocolate cake, and there's nothing we can do about it but laugh.

Is that wrong?